We see Saber's horrifying reaction as she looks at something on the computer. She then hyperventilates before summoning her sword excalibur and destroys the computer and the surroundings as she has a nervous breakdown.
She then cries in the fetal position with her casual clothes on in the shower. With the water running.
Then along comes Sadhana who is wondering who's crying in his bathroom, in his house! He then deduces it's Saber as he can make out her sobbing. He knocks and says:
"Saber? What are you doing in my bathroom?"
Saber immediately turns off the water and claims that she's doing nothing.
"Sadhana? It's nothing. I'm perfectly alright."
"You sure? Because it sounds like you're crying like a pathetic piece of shit."
She scoffs and declines that statement: "No I'm not!"
Before he enters the bathroom, he asks to himself: "Please tell me you have some clothes on." He opens the door to see her in her wet clothes. He says, "Oh thank god." But when he accidentally peeks at her transparently covered shirt for a split-second, he immediately says "I mean: OH MY GOD! There's a guy in here! COVER YOURSELF WOMAN!" as he covers his eyes, reminding himself of his mild mastrophobia.
Saber covers her top and replies with: "Sorry. I didn't know you'd be afraid of my "muscles"."
Sadhana is bewildered that Saber refers to her breasts as "muscles". "1, "Muscles"? You call them "muscles"?! And 2, I have mild mastrophobia. I told myself its not right to look as a woman's breasts so casually." "Anyways, why were you crying in my bathroom?"
"I think… I think I might be dying.", Saber answers his question.
Judging on what she said he immediately says, "WebMD."
"How did you figure-" She is cut off by Sadhana fake sneezing while saying "hypochondriac!"
"Am I a hypochondriac when I was badly damaged in my fight against Berserker?"
"That is a lie-"
"See?" Saber rests her case. "I have a favor to ask of you."
He wonders what request she has of him. "What favor?"
A big pause for a moment before she says "Look at my dick."
In a mix of bewildered, confused, and offended, Sadhana stops before he says, "I'm sorry. What did you just say?"
Saber repeats: "I said: Look at my di-" Cut short as the door slammed shut with Sadhana gone. "Don't make me use the Astolfo Card!"
*ASTOLFO CARD*
The door violently opens with an angered Sadhana saying, "DON'T EVER USE THAT CARD!" Once calmed down, he says, "Is there a problem?"
She explains to him, "I believe I have a condition that is called a "Mi-CROP-enis".
"It's pronounced micropenis."
"Mi-CROP-enis."
"It's micropenis!"
"Mi-CROP-enis!"
"MICRO PENIS!" and slams the door shut.
Immediately cuts to them walking to the living room, with Saber's casual clothes mysteriously dried up. "And no! It's a condition only men have. You, a shemale, do NOT count!"
"But surely it must affect anyone with a dick!"
"It's a birth defect! Not everyone has it. Ergo, you can kiss that favor goodbye!"
"Please! I want to make sure that I don't have one! Besides, you're the only guy I know who has a dick."
Sadhana knows that he didn't meet Saber before and that this encounter was his first. After a small pause, he says, "We've just met!"
Confused, she asks, "What?"
"This is my first time meeting you!"
"What are you talking about? We've met before when I crashed at your place last week."
Cut to a flashback with saber in her camisole and red striped panties as she watches TV and eating chips while laughing at a comedy show. Sadhana then appears and says:
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
Flashback ends
"That never happened! You've just made that up! Wait!" But suddenly figures out who is responsible for sneaking into his house a couple of times. "YOU WERE THE ONE WHO KEEPS ON SNEAKING INTO MY HOUSE! I can tell because the front door has always been unlocked whenever I come back from work!"
"Guilty as charged."
"Were you and Shiro having problems?"
"No. I needed to take some time off."
"So you decided to have a break at my place?"
"Maybe. But like I said: I just want to make sure that I don't have that condition. And I'm too afraid to look at it myself." She brings out her Astolfo Card again as an ultimatum. "Otherwise I have no choice but to use this."
*ASTOLFO CARD*
Sadhana tries to remain unfazed. But when she tempts him with the card again, he finally agrees! "OKAY FINE! I'LL LOOK AT IT! I'm no doctor, but I have no choice in the matter."
"Oh thank god."
"However, it's gonna take some mental and manly training for me."
"How long will it take?"
"Just until 6 PM."
A montage plays with Sadhana doing some of his weird training with the instrumental music of the "Micropenis song" plays out. He is looking at bananas and sauerkraut weiners, playing with the test tubes, punching the punching bag, looking at the internet with the word "shemale" being entered in the search bar.
Breaks the fourth wall and says, "What? Many people look up weird things on the internet! It's not just me."
At 6 PM, with the lights dimmed. We see Sadhana sitting down on the floor with Saber standing adjacent to him.
"This is starting to become really suspenseful with the lights dimmed." said Sadhana.
"I'm equally as nervous as you are." said Saber.
He sighs and says, "Prepare to drop pants. In 3…"
Saber unbuttons the pants.
"2…"
She holds the belt loop.
Cuts to the view of Sadhana and Saber's lower body.
"1…"
Her pants drop. Exposing her legs and naked ass, with a glowing light in-between her legs. Sadhana's expression becomes more surprised and shocked as the light shines on his face. While Saber's nervous expression remains unchanged.
View changes to Sadhana being a gag censor to Saber facing front before changing back to Sadhana facing front.
Sadhana then says, "Speaking as a guy who has one…" A big pause in between, he then continues, "It's normal."
Saber, relieved, responds with, "Oh thank god."
"Now do me a favor. Put on your pants and never speak of this again."
"Done."
THE END
Author Notes:
This is my first 18+ fanfic and my first Fate/Stay Night fanfic. Don't worry, its not too sexual. And it's another smosh parody done in an entirely different way. After Fate GO revealed that Saber had a magic "ding-dong", in this fanfic she is a full on hermaphrodite. In addition, this story is Sadhana's, my original character, first encounter with Saber.
It's a parody of Smosh's "I Have a Micropenis" episode. In all honesty, this is one of Ian and Anthony's weird sketches since it involves male privates.
Saber's crying at the beginning resembles the one in Fate/Cero episode 3.
The attire that Saber wears is her casual attire from hollow/ataraxia
Saber and Fate/Stay Night and all related properties belong to TYPE-MOON. Fate/Cero belongs to YaroShien
The Original Character Sadhana belongs to me.