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Out of the Frying Pan

It had started off small enough. Miners would notice a few gold coins missing or some food from their lunches. They thought nothing of it, food was taken by other hungry miners all the time and the party without his lunch was always repaid with an ale or two at the pub. As for the coins, it was remarkably easy to misplace a few from time to time. This went on for a while but soon the missing items became larger. Clothes would be missing from the laundry and whole hams from the kitchen. Again this was thought to be the work of faltering memory, not sticky fingers. However, when two kegs of mead and a bushel of apples went missing the theft, for that's what they were sure it was now, could not be ignored and the residents of Erebor were concerned. Their home was secure, prosperous, and everyone's needs were met why would a thief need to work in their home? As they mulled this over the thief was busy thieving, only this time the booty was going to be bountiful.

…

Fili sat back in his chair before the hearth and sighed. Today he had been in the throne room, hearing grievances while his uncle attended to trade negotiations and saying he was irritated was an understatement. The majority of the complaints had been about the thief that had been plaguing them for the last couple of months. He had told them that they were searching for the thief and when they found them they would be dealt with accordingly. This answer did little to calm their fears and they continued to grumble under their breath. Fili felt lost, he had no idea how to help them or stop the menace, all he could do was make promises he wasn't sure he could keep. He had just closed his eyes when the door to his chamber burst open and he groaned. Something had angered his brother and now he'd have to deal with him.

"I want all of the guards scouring the mountain! This thief must be caught then hung by his toes over a pit of fire!" Kili shouted and Fili took a deep breath before he turned to see his brother fuming.

"What happened Kee?" He asked and the fondness of his tone and use of the nickname caused his brother to calm somewhat.

"That orc-shagging bastard stole my bow!" Kili shouted and Fili blanched. The thief stole Kili's bow? The rascal surely couldn't have been that bold...

"Are you sure you didn't misplace it?" Fili asked already knowing the answer and flinching at the obvious disgust in his brother's eyes.

"Misplace it?" The venom in his voice was thick and Fili looked apologetic.

"I'm sorry, I know you would never misplace your bow, it would be like me misplacing my swords. I just find it hard to believe that the thief would be so bold, so arrogant as to steal from the royal prince in broad daylight. He must be mad or insanely stupid." Fili apologized and Kili took a deep breath and let it out.

"Apology accepted, now let's start the thief hunt." Kili said resolutely, his shoulders squared and determination on his face. Fili could only nod in response and get up from his seat. When Kili wanted something, he would get it and Aule help the thief if Kili got his hands on him.

…

She lifted the bow into the dim light of her candle and smiled. It had been almost too easy to get her hands on the beautiful weapon. The haughty princeling had left it leaning against the wall, forgotten as the women tittered and fawned over him. The preening little peacock didn't even have a beard! She chuckled as she thought about the beardless archer, always so proud, always strutting around the halls. It was about time someone took him down a notch or two and Lor Firebrand was just the dwarf to do it!

She smiled wide as she placed the bow carefully on the fur she'd taken for the express purpose of caring for it. It really was a beautiful bow and she fully intended to give it back once the prince had showed some humility. Once it was covered she leaned back on the pile of pillows and furs she'd pilfered to make her bed and grabbed an apple from the bushel at her side. She munched on it thoughtfully as she went through the list of her recent thefts and made notes in her mind. She was going to give the rest of the apples to the Darkbeard family, the sausages she'd snagged the night before were going to the family she'd met that morning with the four little ones who were skin and bones. It truly was shameful, the amount of poverty some were living in. One would think the King Under the Mountain didn't give a damn about the plight of his people. Sighing, Lor snuffed out her candle and shut her eyes. She was safe in her small cave under the kitchens, no need to fret.

…

"You're sure lad?" Dwalin asked the small, tattered dwarfling who nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah, every night I see the thief go under that blanket and disappear. My brother says it's an elf witch who eats dwarflings." The little dwarf looked scared and Fili knelt down by the boy and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You have nothing to be frightened of little one. Run home to your mother and we'll sort this out." He squeezed the boy's shoulder and the second he let go the dwarfling was out like a shot. He stood up and squared his shoulders as he looked at Dwalin. "Ready to find the thief?"

"Aye laddie, I'm always ready." Fili chuckled at the look in the old warrior's eyes. He hoped the thief was smart enough to surrender when they caught him, otherwise he'd have to contend with an irritated Dwalin and that was something he didn't even wish on his worst enemy.

Fili followed closely behind Dwalin as the moved the tapestry and found a very narrow opening in the wall that opened up to a slightly wider walkway. This had obviously been part of the escape tunnels that had been closed off when reconstruction. These hallways and caverns were dangerous and it would be years before they would be ready to be used. Fili stopped abruptly when Dwalin knelt down and almost cursed as Kili bumped into him. He really shouldn't have been with them for this mission, not when his emotions were on high and clouding his judgement.

"Sorry." Kili whispered and before Fili could respond Dwalin stood up.

"He's a crafty one. From the looks of it he's been using this path for months. I'd bet he has a nice nest close to here. This wax is still soft." He turned and placed a blob of wax onto Fili's hand and Fili sighed, thankful that this all would be over soon and he could finally get some peace and quiet.

Once the party had seen the evidence Dwalin turned around and followed the signs he saw along the path. He was impressed by how deeply the thief had wound himself under the mountain, even a seasoned warrior like Dwalin would think twice about taking so many twists and turns. Finally, they turned a corner and were hit with the smells of home, they smelled smoked meat and fresh apples and freshly burnt wax. Lifting his hand to signal the others Dwalin gripped his axe and swiftly entered the open space in front of them, only to be met with a handful of what he later found out to be pepper. Now blind and in extraordinary pain Dwalin swung his axe only to find it deflected and forced back. In the melee ensuing he didn't know who he was fighting and he didn't care. He hadn't helped face a dragon and reclaim a kingdom only to have some bastard thief, a coward pull a cheap shot and get one up on him. While Dwalin swung at the thief with his axe the others watched him dodge and move with a grace that surprised them but Fili knew this game would grow old and the second Dwalin could see clearly again the thief would get his just desserts.

As predicted Dwalin got his sight back a few moments later and, growing tired of the sport being made of him he lifted his axe and to the surprise of everyone present, most of all the thief, he brought the flat of his axe down and unceremoniously knocked the smaller dwarf unconscious. Moving around Dwalin, Fili brought a candle out of his pocket and lit it with his flint. When the light showed he moved it over the room, a sigh of relief leaving his lips as he saw Kili's bow. Kili saw it too and rushed forward to grab it. Holding it tightly he walked up to the prone body of the thief and kicked him in the ribs.

"Let's see who this cursed worm is." He suggested and Fili brought the light down over the thief, his eyes widening when he noticed the signs.

"By Mahal's hammer...the thief is a woman." He whispered and everyone looked down at the woman, unsure what to do now.

…

Lor groaned as her eyes opened and light hit them. Her head was pounding and her eyes were aching. She tried to remember how she got in this state when suddenly everything came back to her. Groaning ever louder she managed to sit up and when she opened her eyes fully she found herself pushing her back against the wall and gathering her knees to her chest. Whatever the room she was in was small and positively full of intimidating and, if the little one with the knitted jumper was any indication, not so intimidating dwarves. After a few brief moments Lor recognized the dwarves present as members of The Company, the dwarves that took back Erebor from Smaug the Terrible. Suddenly her headache got worse and nausea hit her. As she doubled over a white haired dwarf with a particular curl to his locks brought a small bucket and placed it in front of her.

"Here lass, if you're going to be sick it's best to do it in this, rather than on my boots." He smiled at her, a genuinely warm smile and she was so startled by his kindness that all she could do was nod in thanks before her stomach heaved and dispelled all of her previously eaten food.

"It looks like your axe was true to his mark Dwalin, the lass has a concussion." Another dwarf, this one with tri-cornered hair said with a smirk before he turned to Lor. "I must say I'm impressed young one. Even I never would've thought to steal from royalty."

As he chuckled Lor smiled. This had to be the famous Nori that all aspiring thieves and pickpockets had heard about. It was said that during the quest to reclaim the mountain that he'd stolen a dagger from the Elven guards in the King of Mirkwood's prison and a jeweled clasp from the Lord of Rivendell's own hair. He was a legend among those from the low places like herself. He smiled at her but the now lighthearted mood was shattered when the large tattooed dwarf stood up and glowered t her, well tried to glower with his red and swollen eyes and running nose. He looked far less intimidating than she supposed he was trying for.

"You thrice cursed warg welp!" He growled and the sound of his voice held the ferocity his appearance didn't.

"Now Dwalin, there's really no need to be so coarse. She is a lady after all." The white haired dwarf said in a placating tone and the growly dwarf turned toward him but the little dwarf placed a hand on his shoulder and he seemed to calm down a bit.

"She is no lady, she's a sneak thief who has not only stolen food intended for the hall but has stolen from the royal prince! She needs to be dealt with accordingly." He finished the last in his trademark growl and for the first time Lor was truly frightened. She didn't want to be "dealt with accordingly" by this big, powerful dwarf or anyone else for that matter.

"How right you are Mister Dwalin. She needs to learn to keep her hands to herself and not take things that don't belong to her." A voice spoke and Lor rolled her eyes when she recognized it as belonging to the haughty, arrogant, princeling. She was about to say something when she was cut off by a different voice.

"I agree that she needs to learn a lesson but, perhaps, we should go about this differently. Yes she could be tied to a pole and flogged but that would make us no different than the men in the village below. We could throw her in a cell for an untold period of time but that would make us no better than the elves." This brought several grumbles and growls from the surrounding dwarves. "I say we find a different punishment. Something that makes up for what she's stolen, something that gives back to those she's so thoughtlessly stolen from. Perhaps have her work with the less fortunate dwarves that live in this mountain."

There was a murmur of agreement but Lor snorted before she could stop herself and looked at the golden haired prince, the only one in the royal family worth a damn if you asked her, and challenged him with her eyes.

"You think I don't think about the less fortunate? You think I steal only to fill my belly and line my pockets? Go back to my cave and see what I have, it's just a bed and some food. I have no need of gold when whatever I need can be lifted but others need it and I make sure they have it. Others need food more than me and I get it from you all who have so much. Think about it prince, who does more for the downtrodden among your people? The royal family meant to care for them or me, a simple thief? I'll give you a minute to sort that out." She told him before she sat back and smirked triumphantly while Fili gaped at her cheek.

"Just throw her into the dungeons Dwalin! She obviously will never learn." Kili implored the taller dwarf and Dwalin merely looked at the thief in front of them. There might have been truth to her words. With the amount of food stolen they had expected the thief to be fat, roly poly and puffed out but this girl was light and fleet of foot, even a little too skinny if they thought of it and she wore a threadbare shirt under a very worn leather jacket and pants that had obviously been mended so much he doubted there was any of the original cloth left for the patches. Her light boots had worn soles and laces that were frayed and knotted. No, she wasn't taking her ill gotten gains for herself, that much was obvious.

"I agree with Fili, she needs a different punishment." Dwalin said after a few moments of tortured silence and suddenly Dori looked at him with a smile on his face.

"I have an idea! We in the tresury will be doing an inventory of all communal property in Erebor and accounting for losses and gains. It will be dreadfully dull work and I could show the young miss just what happens when things go unaccounted for, how it harms the economy of the mountain. I promise to keep a sharp eye on her and she can stay in my quarters. Ever since Ori left there's an extra room and it would do me good to have another in my home again." Dori suggested and Fili smiled. It was the perfect solution, the fussy dwarf would be exacting on the thief and his constant smothering behavior would drive her mad. Besides he knew that if anyone could corral the thief with words alone it was Dori, he'd corralled Dwalin enough when the warrior been courting Ori.

"It's settled then, Dori will take her in." Dwalin said with an air of formality before he turned to speak to Dori and attempt to placate the raging prince.

As they decided her fate Lor took her chance and moved quietly from the cot she was resting on. Everyone was busy patting themselves on the back for being so clever that it was easy to sneak past them. She almost made it to the open doorway before a strong pair of arms encircled her and a voice whispered in her ear.

"Where are you off to, little thief? We haven't taken care of you yet." The voice spoke deeply and almost seductively and Lor fought the shivers that threatened to go through her frame. She knew the golden haired one's voice well, she had spent enough time in the hall listening to him speak to the whiners and complainers and, if she admitted it to herself, she'd just spent a lot of time watching him. She was shaken from her thoughts when he suddenly picked her up and turned her around, setting her in front of the white haired dwarf, Dori, who smiled at her kindly.

"Ready to go young lass? I'll have a bath ready and some new clothes for you in a jiffy. My you're just skin and bones aren't you? No matter, I'll soon have you well-fed and comfortable. You won't want for anything in my home." He said happily and placed a hand on her shoulder before he began to guide her out of the room, which turned out to be a small cell, and used her shock to his advantage as she mutely nodded along as he prattled on about Ori's old room and the clothes he'd left behind and how well they'd fit her after a few adjustments. She wouldn't admit it to a soul but this dwarf's very active version of care scared her more than the big dwarf's battle axe. You could dodge an axe, you couldn't dodge this insistent concern.

"I'll go help out Dori." Nori spoke before he left the cell and chuckled to himself. "There's no way I'm going to miss this."

After he left the rest of the small group dispersed with Ori cooing over his husband and Dwalin, as stoic as ever, accepting his husband's concern even though his injury only consisted of a running nose and swollen eyes not an axe to the skull. Soon, it was just Fili in the cell with his pouting brother and he took a breath to calm his pounding heart. He closed his eyes and clenched his hands, praying for the feeling of the thief's body against his to leave his mind and the sensation to leave his hands. He didn't need to think about her in the way his mind tried to direct him. She was a thief and he was a prince, they were from two different worlds and it was going to stay that way.

…

Author's Note: Hello all, I'm still working on my other stories but this plot would not leave my head until I wrote it down and I liked it so much I decided to share it with you. Anyway, it's going to be Fili/OC and a lot lighter in tone than "A New Beginning" I'm also going to do minor Kili-bashing to go with my character's thoughts. I still love Kili but Lor definitely does not and I'm working with her here. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story and I thank you in advance for reading and hopefully reviewing.