A/N: Quote-
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
-Dr. Seuss.
Fang,
First of all, this will never be sent. I'm just writing this, well, for the sake of writing. Pointless, right? But you'd need to know me. Who am I? A nobody. A face among millions, one fan that won't be missed in the grand scheme of things. But enough about me.
I write. I used to think I was an artist, but I realize I was wrong. I never try to overestimate anything, I'm always scared of being let down. In a way, I'm a poet. Not really. It doesn't really matter. All this to justify my pointless idea. I spend so much time justifying my every move…
I don't talk to people I don't know well. To come right out with it, I don't like people that much. I take a long time to hand-pick a select few of trusted friends, but I don't tell my emotion. I feel vulnerable. I'd rather choke it back than regret spilling it all out.
I guess I'm like you. But you don't know me. That's okay. I'll survive. That's the sad thing, isn't it? No matter what happens to you, no matter what tragedies, your heart keeps beating. Your life keeps unfolding. Time keeps going no matter what petty humans do.
I'm a human. 100%. Not like you. I'm regular. I built a wall around me, a "normal kid" façade. I don't want to scare people. The thoughts that go through my head every day would terrify adults. Oh, she's suicidal, she's depressed. No. I want to live; I like my life. I just like to go deeper, think about my meaning in the world.
Why can't I think freely? Again, better to keep it all in. To not let everyone see your irrational fears that may not be so irrational as you grow up.
As I said before, you'll never get this. I guess I just poured out my heart to empty it a little. Like screaming into empty landscapes. I hope for the best, in general, for you, for me, for the world.