A/N: Ohmygosh. After over a year of keeping a safe distance from fanfiction, this show has pulled me back into it. I fought it for a few weeks but today I just had to write something. These two are just too damn stunning for me to ignore them any longer. I hope it isn't complete crap.
Of course I don't own any of the characters. Based on Hoyt in general, specifically the episode "Remember Me".
Give me your thoughts, if you'd like.
Nightmares.
For months, the image of Charles Hoyt had haunted Jane, tortured her every time her eyes closed for more than a few moments. Sarcasm and bitterness were normal with the detective, expected even. Coldness was not. With the repeated encounters with her tormenter, Jane had steadily been building up a hard shell that she could use as a defense mechanism against Hoyt.
The shell should have been enough, but it was nothing more than a futile attempt to stop him from getting to her. Still, every night she would wake up panicked, grasping for something to defend herself with. She still locked all three locks on her door and slept with her gun beside her bed. She still had Maura on speed dial to come and rescue her when she was too tired to fight off her demons. Charles Hoyt had destroyed her, made her vulnerable. She was supposed to be strong. Instead she was pathetic, trembling at the mere thought of the man.
The shell wasn't enough to protect Maura when Hoyt turned to her, not enough to keep his knife from scarring the most flawless woman that she had seen. He knew that watching as the delicate skin of Maura's throat was sliced open with one slow, precise cut was what he needed to hurt his prey the most before actually taking his prize. The dazed look on Maura's face was enough to push Jane into action, giving her enough energy to fight off their attackers and finally get rid of her worst nightmare once and for all.
Jane was predictable. After their encounter with Hoyt, Maura knew that she wouldn't be able to handle seeing everyone, so she called off the surprise party, suggested postponing it. She needed time to breathe, time to settle after today.
Maura watched as nurses hovered over Jane, carefully tending to the wound across her neck and on her forehead. She had refused a sedative and as a result was squirming and fidgeting, an endless stream of curse words flowing from her mouth as her wounds were bandaged. The doctor stood and could feel Jane's agitation as she was released, walking out the door without a word and leaving behind the replacements for her bandages and instructions on how to change them. Maura took the supplies that the nurse had tossed onto the bed, apologized for her friend's behavior, and followed Jane to her car.
She was relieved to see Jane sitting in the passenger seat, holding a hand to her neck where a bandage covered a wound that wasn't even two hours old. Maura had a bandage on her neck as well, but she had been treated while Jane was fighting medical attention and her pain was bearable now.
The doctor slid into the drivers' seat and buckled her seatbelt, turning her head to glare at Jane until she did the same. She pulled out of her parking space, driving the familiar route to Jane's apartment. She glanced at the grimacing woman as they drove past several fast food restaurants, knowing that Jane wouldn't have much of an appetite that night.
Before Maura had the chance to put the car in park, Jane had unbuckled her seatbelt and was out of the car. The doctor sighed and watched the detective storm inside, bending to get her things from the back seat before slowly going in behind her friend.
She walked into the dimly lit apartment calmly, locking the door securely before flipping on the lights. There were clothes, newspapers, and containers from various fast food places scattered about the room. Sighing, she put her bag down on the only clean surface that she could find – Jane's seat on the couch.
She spent the next half hour tidying up the apartment so that it was livable, folding the clean clothes and making the bed carefully, smoothing the blankets several times and making sure that the pillows were fluffed.
She stood outside the bathroom door listening closely and hearing no signs of movement. Worried, she called Jane's name several times with no response. Finally, she opened the door and found a trail of clothes leading to the shower, steam fogging the mirrors and dampening the tile floor. Jane's silhouette was clearly visible through the opaque glass of the shower door. She stood directly under the steady stream of water, her right arm extended to support herself on the wall in front of her.
Without much thought, Maura slowly removed her clothes, opening the door to the shower and stepping behind the other woman. She touched a gentle hand to Jane's back, caressing it softly before putting another, stronger hand on her side in an attempt to turn her around. Jane stood firm and did not move, despite Maura's gentle urging.
Giving up, the doctor settled for wrapping her arms around Jane's waist, pressing her cheek against a warm shoulder blade and whispering, "It's over. He's gone. He can't hurt you."
Jane turned slowly, holding Maura away from her. Her abdomen was adorned with faint scars that the doctor did not know about, a web of carefully placed self-inflicted wounds that created a rough, worrisome tangle of raised skin. She took Jane's hands in hers, running her fingers over the scar where Hoyt's scalpel had pinned her to the ground.
A soft plead pulled her from her thoughts and she looked up into Jane's tear-filled eyes. She noticed the bright red flush of her skin where the scalding water had been hitting her face, where she had scratched at her arms to remove all traces of the man from her skin. She took a rag and some soap, scrubbing his essence off of herself like Jane had done. When she was finished she reached around the trembling woman and turned off the water, carefully stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around herself before holding one out for Jane to step into.
They stood clinging to each other for a few minutes before Maura led them into the bedroom, helping Jane into a pair of sweatpants and a baggy college shirt, finding a sweatshirt and a pair of yoga pants for herself. She shut off all the lights and crawled into the bed behind Jane, moving her body to fit perfectly around Jane's and wrapping her arms around the woman's stomach. She quietly shushed the crying woman in front of her as they fell to silence, smiling softly when Jane's strong hands found hers and clutched them for a moment before turning around to face the doctor. Jane nestled her head into Maura's neck and quietly whispered "please don't ever leave," in her ear.
Maura moved to press her lips softly against Jane's forehead for a moment, lingering there for a few beats before returning to her original position, lightly squeezing the woman in her arms. "I'll stay forever if you want."
And in that moment, Jane let go of all of her fear and melted into Maura, letting the steady rhythm of her heart and gentle breathing lull her to sleep.