A/N: I've decided to do this a bit differently b/c I didn't like where I was going originally. So, I've decided to try the first person pov. Most of the chapters will be in either Jason or Chris's pov. If you all like it and want me too I may even do a couple in John and Randy's pov. Not alot though b/c I want this to be mainly coming from Jason and Chris. So, please let me know if you like how I've done it. Thank you so much for bearing with me, I know it's taken me awhile but I'm really going to try and update more.

Forgot: don't own anyone. Please enjoy.

Jason POV

It's been one month since I last saw John and one month since I last saw the smile on Adam's face. I've tried everything I can think of to bring him back to reality but nothing works. When we got home from the hospital, he went up to his room and hasn't been down since. That was three weeks ago. Every day I go up there and talk to him, hoping that he'll smile or tell me to go away, but there's no reaction from him at all. He doesn't say a word, he just lays there and stares at the wall. I just can't get throught to him. At this point, I think the only one who could get through to him is John. The question is how in the hell am I supposed to find him? I don't even know where to begin looking, he just disappeared. As I'm getting up to check on Adam for the tenth time today, my cell phone vibrates. I pull it out of my pocket and see that I have a text message.

Need to talk to you. It's important. CJ

Wondering what Chris could want to talk about I text him back.

What's up CJ?

As I wait for his reply I head upstairs to check on Adam. As I open the door my phone goes off again.

It's about Randy. Can I come over?

Randy? I wonder what that's all about.

Sure, come on over. I'll be here.

Walking into Adam's room the first thing I notice is that he's not laying on his bed. "Adam, where are you?" When I didn't get an answer I turned around to leave and noticed the light on in the bathroom. Walking over to the door I tried the knob and noticed it wasn't locked so I opened the door and walked in. "Adam, what are you doing in here?" No response. He was sitting on the side of the tub just staring down at the floor. I slowly walked over to him and knelt down so I could see his face. "Adam? Come on buddy, look at me please?" When he finally looked at me my breath caught in my throat at the tears streaming down his face. "Adam, what's wrong?" When he still didn't answer I looked down to get my emotions in check and that's when I noticed the blade in his hand. I quickly checked over his arms and hands but there was no blood, thank god. I carefully took the blade from his hand and set it on the counter behind me.

"He doesn't love me anymore."

He spoke so quietly I barely heard what he said. "No, Adam you know that's not true. John loves you so much. You know that." I didn't know exactly how to comfort him but I was just glad that he was finally talking to me.

"Then why isn't he here? Why did he leave me?"

"I don't know Addy. What I do know is that there was a very good reason. I talked to John before he disappeared, he had no intention of going anywhere, Adam. You have to believe me, he loves you so much." I reached over and grabbed some tissue to wipe his face. "We'll figure out what happened, I promise. I'll do everything in my power to bring him back to you, ok?" I just hoped that was a promise I could keep. Just then there was a knock on the door. "That must be Chris. You want to see him?"

"I don't know, Jay. I think I'll just stay up here and lay down."

"Ok, when Chris leaves I'm going to make you something to eat alright?" At his nod I helped him stand and we walked back into the bedroom. As he went to lay down I asked him one more thing. "Adam, can you promise me not to even think about doing that? Too many people would miss you, including John. Please?"

"Ok, I promise Jay. Thank you for everything your doing."

"Anytime. Get some rest and I'll see you in a bit." I said as I left his room and closed the door behind me. I hurried down the stairs as the knocking continued. When I opened the door and saw Chris standing there it was like deja-vu. He looked just like Adam had a few minutes ago. "My God, Chris what's wrong?" I asked as I pulled him into the house and led him to the living room. "Here sit down. Do you want some coffee or something?"

"Uh...yeah coffee would be good thanks."

"Sure, no problem. I'll be right back. Sit tight." I went into the kitchen and poured him a cup of coffee that I had made earlier. I couldn't believe what was going on first Adam and now Chris. John's disappearance has affected more people than I thought, including me. He was my best friend and I hadn't even had a chance to really digest what was going on. I was so busy concentrating my attention on Adam that I haven't sat down and really thought about it much. Now Chris is broken up about something, obviously to do with Randy if you go by the text message I got from him earlier. Making my way back into the living room I handed Chris his coffee and sat down across from him. "Ok, Chris what's going on?"

"It's Randy. He hasn't been the same since John left. He won't talk to me, just lays around staring at walls. I don't think I've gotten three words from him since that day. Actually, that's not entirely true. He does keep repeating something but I can't make sense of it."

"What's he saying?"

"He keeps repeating that it's all his fault and when I ask him what he just clams up and leaves the room. At first I thought he was talking about the bet, you know, blaming himself for it. Like maybe he thought John left because of the bet but I don't think that's it at all. I just can't figure out what he's talking about." Chris finished with a sigh.

I wasn't sure what to say to that but I tried. "That doesn't sound like the Randy I know. You don't have any idea at all what he could be talking about?"

"No, I have no idea at all. This is all just so screwed up man. We shouldn't be going through this, John should be here with Adam. Randy shouldn't be in an almost comatose state. We have to do something, Jay, before we lose both of them. Speaking of, how is Adam doing?"

I shook my head and said, "not good man. I caught him with a blade in his hand just before you got here." Seeing the shock on Chris's face I immediately pacified him, "he didn't do anything, don't worry. The one good thing is at least he's talking now. He wants to know why John doesn't love him anymore. I don't know what to do, how to help him get through this." I stood up from my seat and started pacing around, "I don't even know where to begin looking. Hell, I don't even know if he wants to be found. I just don't understand it they were so happy why would he just up and leave?"

"Maybe he didn't." They both jumped at the sound of Adam's voice.

"Adam, damn man, you scared the hell out of me. What are you talking about?" I asked him. When he looked down at his hands I noticed he held a crumpled piece of paper. "What's that?" I asked pointing at it.

He walked towards us slowly and handed me the paper. "It's the note Johnny left. I haven't been able to look at it until now." He said sitting down on the chair I'd just vacated.

"Mind if I take a look at it?" I asked making sure I wasn't invading his privacy.

"No, go ahead both of you."

I nodded and sat down beside Chris and read it out loud.

Adam,

By the time you see this I'll be gone. I've done a lot of thinking the last few days and even though I said I'd forgiven you for what you did, I lied. I tried to make it work, Adam, but I just can't look at you every day knowing what you did. I'm sorry to have to do it this way but no matter what you think of me I just couldn't tell you to your face and see that sad look. Don't try to find me because I don't know where I'm going yet. I've already talked to Vince and he gave me a leave of absence. I won't have my cell phone on either so don't try and call me. Just try to forget about me forever and always remember that you have no one to blame but yourself. Your heart needs to think of my heart and how much it hurts. Maybe you can find someone to hand your heart over to. Mine's not available anymore.

John

I looked up at Adam and saw the tears rolling down his face again. "I'm sorry, Addy I guess I shouldn't have read it out loud."

"It's okay, I needed to hear it from someone else's mouth." He said with a small smile.

It was nice to see him smile again, it's been awhile. "So, what makes you think he didn't leave

on his own?"

"Ummm...well there's a couple things actually. I've read that note over and over for the last few weeks just trying to figure out what was going through his mind. I haven't exactly been with it so my brain has been on strike but I was reading through it again a few minutes ago and something came to me. Where it says 'just try to forget about me forever and always remember that you have no one to blame but yourself'"

He paused to wipe away the tears that were falling. Rather than interrupt him we waited for him to continue knowing how hard this was for him to begin with.

"Sorry about that. Anyway, before he found out about the bet, after we told each other I love you he'd say forever and always. That was his way of telling me he'd never leave me. Even after he found out and we got back together, he still said it and I knew that we'd be alright. If you look at the next line he's letting me know that his heart is hurting and he knows he has mine."

"That's really sweet Addy. I never knew he was such a romantic at heart. I mean I knew he loved you but I don't think I realized just how much until now. I think you're right, I don't think he left of his own free will. We need to figure out what happened Chris, so we can help both Addy and Randy." At that Adam looked at me strangely.

"What's wrong with Randy?"

"Uh well he hasn't been taking this too well, I guess. That's why Chris came over actually, he needed to talk about it with someone." I looked at Chris and gave him a nod letting him know to tell Adam.

"Well, he doesn't talk to me very much and he just lays around staring off into the distance. He also keeps muttering something about it being all his fault but I don't know what he's talking about. He's like a zombie, Adam and I don't know how to help him." Chris said putting his head in his hands.

I could tell that he was trying not to cry in front of us so I just started rubbing his back. "It'll be okay CJ, we'll figure this out I promise. Do you guys want something to eat? I can whip something up."

"Yeah, that sounds good Jay." Adam replied.

I nodded and got up making my way into the kitchen. I looked around in the cupboards and fridge trying to figure out what to make. Since neither man was exactly feeling all that well I settled on chicken soup. As I was heating it up my cell phone vibrated, taking it out of my pocket I answered without checking the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Jay?"

Oh my god. "John, is that you?"

"Jay, I need you to listen to me I don't have much time before he comes back."

"Who John? Where are you?"

"Just listen to me please. I don't know where I am just that I'm in a basement somewhere. I need you to tell Adam I love him and make sure he knows that I didn't leave him. I don't know if I'll ever see him again and he needs to know that. Shit, I gotta go. Promise me Jay." Then the line went dead.

"John! John! Shit!" I looked at the caller log but the number was blocked. "Son of a bitch!"

I guess I said that a little too loudly because Adam and Chris came racing into the kitchen.

"What happened Jay? Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not alright. Damn it, that was John on the phone."

"WHAT? Why didn't you let me talk to him?" Adam demanded.

"He said he didn't have much time before HE came back. He wanted me to tell you that he loves you and he didn't leave you on his own. He made me promise that you'd know that." I replied still looking at my phone.

"Did he tell you where he was? Jay please I have to know." Adam said frantically.

"No, he didn't know where he was. He said he's in a basement somewhere. At least now we know that he got kidnapped but who would want to take John? Everybody loves him." I said as I checked on the forgotten soup. I grabbed a couple bowls and some crackers and set them down on the table. "Here guys, eat something." I replied still trying to figure this out.

"Does John have any enemies? I mean someone obviously doesn't like him much. I just don't understand who would want to take John? Maybe a sick fan?" Okay now I'm grasping at straws.

"I think I know what happened."

Sorry to leave it there but I figured a cliff hanger for the first chapter was good, lol. I am so sorry for making you all wait and if you're still reading this than that's good and thank you for being patient.

On a side note I just want everyone to know that I don't care whether you leave a review or not. I don't like authors who blackmail for reviews and I don't intend on doing that. If I want to review I will if not I won't and I don't like being made to feel bad for not doing it. Sorry now that I've gotten that out of the way see you next time.

Also for anyone who read the prologue as you can see I replaced it so please disregard what was written there.