hi guys! so this is my first trial at fanfctions.. and I'm french and I don't have any betas so please be nive to me haha. this is a very important story to me that I have in my mind since the end of the fourth season (that is to say last year..) but robin died and I was sad so I just needed to post this. So it takes place 5 weeks after the laste episode of season four : to remind you, emma's name is on the dagger =)
I really hope you will enjoy it, please let me know if you do, it's very important t know you impressions ^^
Have a nice read! =)
Storybrook – Five weeks after.
She was up for one hour, but today was just like the others : they were late.
After helping Roland to get dressed, Regina entered the kitchen where Robin was cooking breakfast. Just one minute of peace before the big rush.
« Roland can quite be a lazy one huh ? » He says, facing the oven
« Yes, tell me about it.. »
Robin finally goes to Regina, taking her in his arm, holding her close, caressing her head. He lowered his head, his noze brushing her's lightly « I think you are doing amazing »
« You do ? »
Robin smiles and kisses Regina's lips. It's slow, tender... usual. Another kiss on the forehead, and when Robin turns to keep on cooking breakfast, Regina is smiling. How lucky is she to have him ? He's everything she has ever dreamed of. She loves this life so much. She loves when he brings her breakfast in bed on sundays morning, she loves when the four of them go to the park, she loves when the children are asleep and she and Robin are alone, snuggling in bed, his hands on her waist pulling her closer, her's on his chest. He's kissing her neck, her collarbone, her bare breast, and lower to her navel, and lower, and -
She then heard the boys running down the stairs, moment of peace over.
« I have already told you guys, do not run in the stairs, it's dangerous ! »
« Sorry » the boys mutter
They then moved quickly to the table « mmmh that smells so good ! » says an enthusiastic Henry.
Another thing she loves about Robin : he cooks wonderful breakfast, but doesn't know how to cook anything else.
Robin smiles and serves Henry and Roland's plate. They mumbled a quick thank you before devouring their pancakes, and then Robin went upstairs to prepare himself, dropping a kiss on Regina's cheek on the way out. Regina takes another moment to enjoy her life, just a moment. Now they're running late, really late.
« Okay monkey we need to hurry up, where are your shoes ? »
Roland recognises himself, and shrugs his shoulders. He is way too occupied with his breakfast to think about his shoes. He can hear Regina asking Henry too, but he doesn't know either, then she disappears in the hall.
He really likes Regina, she is nice, and cooks awesome lasagnas, plus, she will read Tarzan to him every night, cause it's his favorite story ever, and Regina is a so much better reader than daddy, specially when she uses her deep funny voice when gorillas are speaking ! She is calling him « monkey » because of that . He likes this nickname. But one of the things he likes the most about her is when she will take him from school and they will go out to the park. No, they will eat ice cream and then they will go out to the park. And she will play with him. It's very funny to play with her, and Henry too. Yes, he really really likes his new family.
At school the teacher helped them making a little poem for their mommy, and so Roland chose to adress it to Regina. He hopes she'll like it, well she has always liked his drawings of her so she'll love this poem right ?
Regina finally came back with two peers of shoes, she put down Henry's in front of him, and kneeled down to help Roland to put his.
« I suppose I'll have to put mine on my own ? » Regina makes a face, not the joking face. So henry tries again. « It still works for next tuesday right ? »
« Yes of course, but we'll have to settle up some rules and - »
« What's happening next tuesday ? » interrupts Roland
« Henry is celebrating his birthday with his friends, I told you remember ? We'll spend a couple hours at the park to leave them a little alone. » Regina tries to explain again knowing what will come next .
« Am I not invited to the party ? » asks a very disappointed Roland, tears in the eyes, face looking down, he pouts, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
« Sorry monkey... » An for a second henry really is sorry, Roland is a good kid, they have fun together. Had fun. It was before. So no actually, Henry is not sorry at all, it's his day, he doesn't want a toddler running in the house and even less the two adults. But he can see his mother making silent conversation with him : she wants him to invite Roland to the party. No way, he thinks, they've already discussed about this, she can't just change her mind whenever the toddler makes sad eyes !
Then he can see Robin coming back all happy in the kitchen, putting a hand on his son's head, looking at his mother, big smile on his face, but not as big as his mother's when he leans and kisses her quickly on the lips, and then nothing exists anymore, not even him. Happy little family. And he is not a part of it. He feels so upset and sad and annoyed... He can't help but...
« Anyway, what are you guys doing today ? Finally saving my mother maybe ? It's been five weeks and you don't seem so eager to save her do you huh ? »
Regina opens up her mouth, but says nothing, shaken by his statement. Henry feels so bad now, he had hurt her before, and he's doing it again. Apparently it's the only thing he's good at.
« Son, you know - » But Robin is sharply interrupted by Henry, looking at his mother in the eyes, defying her, hatred in the air.
« The truth is you don 't want to save her, cause she is my real mother, you, you are just the other one. No actually. You're no one. That's more like it. » Henry says with as much venom as possible. He oversteped the line, he does know it, but it doesn't really matter, after all the mean things he had said to her since he had known about Emma and the enchanted forest... it's too late, she'll abandon him as soon as she'll have a real child.
« Henry don't talk to your mother like that ! » He can hear Robin yelling as he's living the house, doesn't even bother to close the door when he escapes. He's so angry at his mother. It's all her fault anyway. She's the evil queen. She had never loved him, never will. It's easier to hate her. It's better this way. She will abandon him one day, she has alredy abandoned him since Roland came into their lives, so yes he does hate her, and yes it's better this way.
Henry is gone now, the door wide open. It's too much. Far too much. She needs air. No. She needs to bury herself in her covers. She turns and goes upstairs, not missing Robin's sad and comprehensive look.
Robin followed her in the stairs at first, but then heard his son asking if he should follow Henry, because now they were late and he did not like to be late.
« Yes well today we'll be late - »
« But daddy - » he starts to speak with his mouth full.
« No Roland listen to me » Robin said, taking him by the hand, direction living room. He settles him on the coutch and turns on the TV . « You are going to stay here, watching the TV without moving until Regina and I come down. You'll start school later today it's not such a big deal son okay ? »
Roland hates it when Henry is yelling at Regina. Sometimes he will yell at him too. Maybe he has done something mean to Henry ? He is thinking about it, really, but he doesn't understand. He had talked to her about this before, but she had just said it wasn't his fault. Yeah, he really, really doesn't understand.
But Robin's in hurry, doesn 't even wait for his son's answer, as he runs upstairs to their room.
He freezes at the doorstep when he sees her, standing in front of the window. He already knows what he'll see when he'll face her. Tears. Again.
Everything was fine a week ago, Henry liked Roland, liked the idea of them living in this house, and liked him, he thinks. Of course when Regina had told him his mother Emma was missing, Henry had been sad and upset, and he wanted to do anything to find her. But still, everything was fine.
But then it all has change, and he has no idea why. Neither does Regina. And it's killing him to see her like this, to see her son turning on her. He wants to help, but how ? He knows what she wants to do, but he can't agree, he can't take any risk to lose her.
It was then, as she stood face to the window, that she heard soft steps behind her. She stays nose to nose to her own reflection, doesn't turn when she speaks.
« We need to do it. » Her voice is cold, detached. It's not even a question.
He comes right behind her, hands on her shoulders. She's tensed and determined, making her change her mind will not be easy.
« Maybe there is another way » He tries, not sure of himself
« No! It's the only way and you do know it » She pulls out of his embrance and looks at him. Her look is blurred by recent tears, her voice hoarse, melodious however. « It's not that dangerous anyway ! » she says as she starts pacing up and down.
« Are you kidding me ? You could never come back ! How is that 'not dangerous' to you? » Robin is angry now. She can't do that. She can't even be thinking about it !
« Yes ! Could ! But maybe everything will be just fine ! » Robin is not conviced about this, she does know. « Look, my son hates me because he thinks I'm not doing anything. So yes, I am going to do it. And I'm not asking for your blessing Robin. It can't stay like that forever. Not when he hates me. I have to do it, and I need you to understand and support me. I need you Robin. Don't give up on me okay ? »
« I'd rather you stay safe »
« And I'd rather have my son back. » she is yelling now. « I just want him back, please. »
Regina is looking at him, a single tear running down her cheek, and he knows. She'll do it. And he'll support her. Because this is how crazy he is about her. He moves forward to her, taking her in his arms, breathing in her neck. She is relaxed now, as his thumbs are drawing mesmerizing circles on her neck. Everything will be just fine.
« I will never give up on you. We'll talk about this at the council today. And I will stand by you. No matter what. But promise me you won't go alone into this. We'll talk to everyone and hear what they'll think about it okay ? You don't do that alone. » Robin whispers in her ear.
« Thank you »
Regina looks at him, and is lost in the perfection of his face, handsome as a greek god, the black silk of his habit showing perfectly his muscular body. He cares so much about her, and she has never even dreamt having this. But she does have this. She smiles at him, hands on his cheeks, and she kisses him. It's something she'll never get tired of. Kissing him. Being with him. It's always hard when she is thinking about Zelena yet. She's three month and a half now, and the last echographie had been real torture for her. It's a boy. Yeay...
She doesn't know exactly how to handle it, but is there a way to handle it anyway ? So she lets it go. She just looks into his eyes, and everything is better. It will be messy when the baby will be there, and hard, and noisy. But she doesn't care, because she has him. And she loves him. Everything will be fine. They just need to find Emma.
They finally have driven Roland to school - thirty minutes late - and have gone to the library, like every other morning, to figure something out to help Emma. Five weeks ago, Emma had disappeared. In the dagger herself apparently. Or maybe in the hat. They're not even sure about this. Maybe she's in the tour. Yes, they did advance on their research actually. Well, Belle did.
She discovered an interesting old prophecy. According to it, four people possessed magic, at the very begining, four forces of good : the white fairie, the sea ancient goddess ursula, the sorcer Merlin, and the light one. Together, they werre supposed to make the world a better place for anyone. But being a part of the four most powerful person in the whole land can go to your head. And it did, as the fairie and the light one turned dark and made an evil alliance : they cursed the mermaids, confined them in the sea without the posibility to have their legs back and with a very very weakened magic, so that this third member wouldn't be a threat anymore. And then, they tried to take the last member down. But the sorcer saw it coming, locked himself up into a tower, to protect his good -an most powerful- magic and no one knows where he is, or maybe the apprentice knows, or maybe not, not that it matters now that he's dead. The prophecy says then that the purest heart will enter the tower and free the sorcer and the final batlle between good and evil will start, and only one will win, destroying the other.
Tons of prophecies have never been real, but this sorcer is the most powerful person of all the lands, feared by all the dark ones, so if he predicted it he will be true, and Emma must be the purest heart, so she somehow is in the tower.
This prophecy was pretty much all they have, and they had no idea how to unlock or even find Merlin, but a few days ago, they find the apprentice's notebook, confirming the existence of the tower and the sorcer. And more, a day ago Belle found something, a miror allowing two person to go in Agrabah, it is Regina secret weapon. It could be the key, it has to be.
« I think we should do this » Regina says, causing rowdiness in the room. The charmings are there of course, with Kilian, Belle and the blue fairy.
« We've already discussed it Regina. End of the conversation. » David says.
« Belle and I found a way to go into Agrabah ! And once there we'll just have to find the cavern ! It could work, there is a chance, an actual chance ! Don't you want to take it ? Don't you want to save your daughter ? » Regina tries to convice him.
« You found a way to go to Agrabah and didn't tell us ? This could clearly change everything, but - »
« Belle tell them what you think about it. » says Regina, interrupting David
« It's dangerous, we cannot know for sure that this mirror will bring us to Agrabah, we don't know if the flying carpet is still locked up there, it's supposed to be in a cavern but we don't know exactly where it is, or if the carpet still works and can bring us anywhere, because nobody had actually used it since it had been locked up by the sorcer himself in anther land all those centuries ago.»
« Do we actually know something for sure or not ? » Kilian mutters.
« But we might have a chance, this could work Belle right ? » Regina doesn't even pay attention to Killian and his stupid non-helpful comments.
« Well... » starts Belle « theoretically, it could work. » Everyone in the room starts speaking, but she continues. « This carpet is supposed to work with light magic, if you have pureness in your heart you can control it, you just need to tell it where to go and it'll bring you . According to my books, only one has ever been created by the sorcer, and it's locked up in Agrabah, no one has ever been able to unlock the cavern where it's hidden. So yes if we have it we can theoretically find the tower and Merlin. But this miror is a one way trip, if the two persons going in Agrabah doesn't find the carpet, they could never come back. Agrabah is an un-known world for all of us here, and I wasn't able to find much information, but I do have faith in this prophecy, the carpet is there and we will find it.»
« Do you really believe into this Belle ? Is there hope ? » Snow. Of course, only a charming could ask such a naive question.
« Yes I do» But Belle is looking at Regina's eyes, she's hidding something and she doesn't like it. Since Gold has woken up a couple of weeks ago, he's locked up in the asylum just for precaution until they find Merlin. So now Belle is the « magic master » as they call her, even if she has never done any magic. And they listen to her. And they believe her. Well maybe they shouldn't. Belle hates lying. But it's not really a lie, it's more like an omission lie. Not a big deal, right ? It's exactly what Regina had said to her days ago, but still she doesn't like it.
Snow asks for the blue fairy's opinion too. Regina doesn't like to admit it, but her help has been very important for their research, she has given many ancient books to Belle, and has confirmed that the legend was very popular among her people, even if she had never seen the black fairy, she had always belived in her existence, and had seen a lot of inexplicable deaths that could only be her doing.
When she nods in agreement, Regina is jubilating.
« So what's the plan ? »
They're planning the whole thing up. But Robin's mind is elsewhere, Regina can say so. And she does know why. Only two people can pass through this mirror, and it's a one way trip, they're not sure to come back once they're in Agrabah : they need to find the magical carpet first. Robin is not really happy about it, she knows, but he does understand, he needs to understand. Because she is doing this. Today.
Belle finally explains the plan one last time.
« Okay so only two of us can make the trip. Regina and David. Once they're gone, we wait until sundown, David and Snow will make connection, the very same way they did before when they were in two separated worlds, and they will do that every sundown of every day until Regina and David find the carpet. Then David will ask to go to the tower and the carpet should take them there, and then they come back with Merlin or Emma, or both. »
« See ? That's a good plan ! » Says Regina « so we are doing this tonight, 6 p.m in here, David you just need to take the fairy dust to put you to deep sleep to connect with Snow. Grumpy has collected it already. »
Robin doesn't wait for unanimous approbation, and leaves the library quickly. Regina starts to follow but Belle grabs her arm and takes her to another corner of the room, far from the four others.
« What about the rest of the prophecy ? » Belle whispers « We should not lie to them ! It's wrong, it's - »
« And what ? You tell them and what ? The whole town freaks out cause we might all die ? There is absolutelly no need to panick everyone, this read heart prophecy is so old, and I don't see how someone could destroy all black or white magic anyway. Maybe it's just a fake, lots of legends are wrong, and no one has ever found the read heart, I don't see why it would change now. »
« You do know exactly why it would change Regina ! You're - »
« No I'm not Belle. It won't happen. And anyway here we're not discussing this red heart thing, we're saving Emma. Now if you please, I have to go. »
« What about the mirror then ? In your condition - »
« I don't have any condition. »
« I'm just trying to help here. »
Regina could respond with intelligence, tact, kindness ? Or not. « Well I don't need any help. Mind you own damn buisness ! »
And then she's gone, without giving Belle time to respond. And Belle is cursing.
Regina knew she'll find him there. Their special place in the woods. He's sitting on the trunk. She's behind him but Robin knows she's here. Her perfume. Soft an spicy at the same time.
« I understand. I really do. But you can't expect me to be happy about it. » Robin doesn't turn, so Regina comes and sits on the trunk right next to him, taking his hand in her's, saying nothing, just looking at the sky as she's always liked it.
« You have to promess me to be carefull right ? I cannot lose you. Not now, not ever. You are too important, for Henry, even if he doesn't show it right now, for Roland... for me. I can't think of losing you. »
« Then don't. You won't lose me, I will come back, I will be carefull I promess. »
« I'm still not happy about you going. »
« Of course you're not. You'll only eat eggs and toasts when I'm gone. » She jokes. A little smile lights up Robin's face. That's all she asks for. She drops her head on his shoulder, and his arms are moving behind her back to her waist. And they stayed like that, enjoying this moment of peace.
One last time.
They finally have taken Roland from school after he finished, have gone eat ice creams, and then have played a little in the park. Regina was so happy with her family. But someone was missing. She texted Henry, told him they were at the park, that he could join them after he his classes were off, but apparently he has study group today, like every other day since a week. She doesn't understand. Why does he hate her ? Why now ? Why so suddently ? She's missing something. Or maybe it's just Emma. Or maybe it's just herself.
Quickly enough, it's 6, and she has to say goodbye. Her three boys are there, in the house. This is gonna be much more difficult than expected. Henry is against the wall of the living-room, as far away from her as possible. She kneels down in front of Roland first, takes his hands in her's.
« I have to go now, as I told you, I need to help Emma remember ? »
Roland opens his mouth, and she knows what comes next.
« But I'll be back, don't worry okay cause I'll be back, I'm not gonna leave you, I'm never gonna leave you monkey. »
He didn't take the new very well earlier, thinking that she'll just go away forever, like his mother. He looks down to the ground, but Regina can see the tears in his eyes, and it's killing her, but she has no other choice, she has to go, even if it's hard. So right now she just has to be strong, just needs to see a smile on his face. But Roland is quiet, Regina takes his chin in her right hand, lifting his head up so that he can look at her.
« I'll be back before you know it. And the very first second I'm back we can play Tarzan just the two of us mmh ? And we'll go to the park play hide and seek » Roland doesn't respond. « And we'll cook your favorite cake ! »
« Double chocolate dose ? » Roland asks with a little malicious smile
« Double chocolate dose for sure »
Roland smiles even more, throws himself in Regina's arm. He's gonna miss her, but she is a hero, and heros have to save everyone so he understands, and she will come back right ?
« I love you monkey. »
« Me too » Roland says, still hugging her.
She then stands up, Roland goes to his daddy, and it's time for her to say goodbye to her other son. How can she be afraid like that ? Everything's gonna be fine again when she'll bring back Emma, he's not gonna hate her anymore. Right ? But when she reaches him, all she can see in his eyes is anger. Anger. She doesn't understand, not even a little, and before she can speak, he does .
« So that's it huh ? You're just abandoning us ? Me ? I knew this day would come anyway, I should not be surprised, should I ? » And with these last words, he runs to his bedroom upstairs, slamming the door the stronger he can.
Now she is lost, so so lost. When has she become such a bad mother she doesn't even understand her own son anymore ? She tries, but nothing makes sense ! Everything was fine, really fine. For the past five weeks they had fallen into a routine pretty easily : she was the one bringing and taking out the boys from school, they go eat something at granny, and then go to the park. The walks and games in the park had always been so fun, Roland was so happy, and so does Henry, he really has adopted his little brother. Or not. Cause now nothing is the same.
A week ago he just told her he would stay after school with his study group, and would come back on his own in the house, alone. When Roland would ask him to play a little in his room before diner, he would say no. But even worse when Robin would propose to play a video game he would say no too. She knew something was of, so does Robin. At the begining they had thought it might be a little jalousie about Roland, but why now and not before ? No, it wasn't that. She has no idea, and it hurts so much. When your son looks at you like a stranger, like when he was ten and Emma broke the curse, it does hurt far too much.
What has she done to become this stranger in his eyes all over again ? Emma was the solution, she had to be. Without even doing it consciously, she had followed him in front of his room, so that just the door separates her from her son. But she can't come in. She's afraid. So afraid. Finally she feels a hand on her lower back. And now she's not afraid anymore.
« Henry I'm not abandoning you, I'm going to Agrabah to find Merlin and Emma. I'm gonna bring back Emma ! Isn't it what you wanted ? »
« You have never understood anything anyway ! »
« Then tell me ! » No response.
And suddently she regrets the lock on his door. Why had she asked Robin to put one ? Robin. Always here to confort her. It's time to say good bye to him too.
Last word to Henry, she tells -yells- that she loves him and she'll be back before he knows it. And she makes her way downstairs with Robin, just to find Roland in front of the TV. Ah, children and technologie. One quick look at the clock, it's time to go, they have to meet the others in the library. She kisses one last time Roland on the top of his head, and when she turns she can see Robin presenting her her coat. And then they're gone.
They walk together to the library, hands linked, saying nothing. Too quickly, they're at the library, too quickly she'll have to say good bye, too quickly...
When they arrive at the library, Snow is in David's arms, Belle and Kilian are behind them, not talking. Kilian has a hand on David shoulder, it makes her smile a little, Hook has totally been accepted in the charming group by now, spending most his time with David at the station or at the rabbit hole drinking rum.
Regina's grip on Robin's hand tenses up when David looks at her. Now it's time to go.
Regina hugs Robin, a tight, long, loving hug. He cradles her hair, his fingers buried into it. She breaths him in, eyes closed, squeezing him hard, her head finding the perfect shelter in the crook of his neck. She looks at him then, wanting to remember every detail of his face. His deep blue eyes, his perfect smile, his oh so cute dimples... Not that it will be hard anyways, she stole the family picture of them four in their bedroom earlier. It had been taken three weeks ago, and she loves this picture so much, they're all so happy. She has taken a « survival bag » with her, just water, food and a clean shirt. Robin's.
She looks at him, her lips looking for his, and she knows exactly what he's thinking.
« I will come back » she says with the sweetest voice possible, both hands cupping his cheeks.
« I know you will. But... don't do anything stupid. »
« Got it. » She smiles at his concern, so does he.
She wants to say so much to him, but can't bring herself to open her mouth. She's lost in his eyes, stares at him - something she knows she could do the rest of her life - , their eyes locked with each other, and she almost forgets she has to leave now. Almost. David's voice interrupts her.
« It's time. »
Regina had knots in her stomach. Not a common thing.
She looks at him one last time, one last kiss, one last breath, and she goes. She hugs Snow (weird huh?), nods at Belle and Kilian, and it's time. Snow and Kilian step back while Belle activates the mirror and puts it down, a circle of purple magic is created. It's time to jump. She looks at David, he nods and jumps first. Then it's her turn, but she needs to look at him on last time, and when she turns, she can't help but runs and throws herself into his arms one last time, kissing him passionately.
« I love you, no matter what ». It's a whisper, and the second after that she has jumped, and the second after that she's gone, and the second after that he asks himself if it had just been a dream afterall. Maybe he hopes it has.
Agrabah – present time.
She opens her eyes. No, it hurts too much. Every inch of her body hurts too much. Where is she already ? It's hot in here. And wet. And it smells like forest. Maybe she's just back in her bed with Robin ? No, it's definitly not a bed. Her back hurts too much. Grass, she can feel under her fingerprints. So she is in a forest. She opens her eyes now, but the sun is dazzling, and hot. Way too hot. She sits on the grass. Her head hurts.
Now that her eyes are fully open, she can see the landscape. The sight is wonderful, the air is fresh and pure, she is surrounded by a luxuriant bucolic vegetation : trees, tons of trees, so high, so leafy. It smells wonderful. She can hear the birds singing, and the crickets maybe. She can hear the leaves falling from the trees. She can hear the sap's hissing, sliding on a too green trunk. Is this a dream ? Or maybe she's dead ? No, once you're dead you don't feel pain anymore right ?
She then sees David, and she remembers. She reaches him, a few feets away behind her, but he's not moving. His breathing is perfectly fine though, maybe his landing was a bit harder than her's. Waiting for him to wake up, she looks for their bags, and her eyes catch the glimpse of a river. She runs to it.
Everything is so perfect here. Is that really Agrabah ? She never went in, but the rumors say it was a hot, dry, very wide and dangerous desert. Well the rumors are wrong. Not quite actually it definitly is dangerous : behind the bushes, a shadow is ready to shoot, bow and arrow targeting Regina. When she puts a hand on her stomach, smiling, breathing the pure air, the shadow hesitates. Just one moment. And the arrow is released.
Birds are panicking, flying of the tree they were resting on.
There was then an eery silence throughout the forest.
[…]