A/N: This is a requested fic from Nightmare Wishes. The suggested plot involved Shikamaru, Ino, an engagement and a pregnant Temari. NW, I know this probably isn't what you had in mind, but this is where the muse took me. I hope you enjoy it anyways. Thanks as ever to leaf ninja dot com. A bit o' angst, romance, humor and OOC…I invite you to suspend reality of my usual ShikaTemaverse, though some events/people mentioned follow previous storylines, this story is a stand alone.

Disclaimer: I don't hate Ino, and I'm not Masashi Kishimoto

Chapter 1

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Temari had never been calendar perfect. Once she became a genin, stress from the missions had made things worse; as a jounin she was lucky if she had a period every few months. At first she thought it might be some kind of stomach virus, but then there were muscle cramps in her abdomen and a heavy feeling in her breasts. Not having a mother allowed her to sit in denial longer than most, but the sudden weight gain was the final straw. All she needed now was the confirmation.

o-o-o

Following in their fathers' footsteps, Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji had been best friends since the sandbox. Both Nara Shikaku and Akimichi Chouza hoped that their son would be the one to marry Yamanaka Inoichi's daughter thereby sealing the friendship. When Shikaku's son, Shikamaru began dating Sabaku no Temari, the fathers set their sights on Chouza's offspring, Chouji as the future spouse of the fair-haired Ino. The day that Chouji confessed his desire to become a monk took them all by surprise. The day he shaved his head, and moved away to a monastery was a dark day for the three friends as they commiserated over sake at their local watering hole.

They knew that other young men in the village would try to court the lovely Ino, but the fathers were determined. As more and more empty sake bottles accumulated on their table they came up with what they all considered to be a brilliant plan indeed.

On the very night that Nara Shikamaru sought his father's blessing on his attempt to ask for the hand of the Kazekage's sister, Shikaku announced that it was high time he got married. The younger Nara smiled and told his father that they were thinking along the same lines, but Shikaku interrupted his son before he could name the lady of his choosing. Shikaku informed his son that his bride-to-be should be from a good family with an honorable history. Someone from strong Konoha stock. Shikamaru's mouth dropped open as he stared at his father.

"Therefore," Shikaku patted his son's shoulder, "Inoichi-san and I have decided that you will marry his daughter, your best friend, Ino-chan."

When Shikamaru failed to respond the way Shikaku had hoped the older Nara scowled.

"You're getting married in February, you have one month to end things with Sabaku no Temari. Do not dishonor me."

Shikamaru couldn't believe what he'd been told. At first he balked thinking his father was playing some kind of sick joke, but as his time limit drew near he was summoned to the Hokage's office. There he found Lady Tsunade sitting with his father, the Yamanakas, and Ino, who looked as miserable as he felt.

In a flurry of pens and papers, the marriage contract was signed and a photograph was taken of the happy couple to appear in the next day's newspaper. Since Temari was currently in town, Shikamaru knew that she'd see the announcement. Rather than the news come as a total surprise-one that could mean physical harm to him, the Shadow-Nin decided that it was only right for him to break up with her somewhere private, where eyes weren't watching them…where she could make a scene without dishonoring herself. He knew that cloud-watching would never be the same again.

o-o-o

"So you see Temari, it's actually better this way. You are so far beyond average, and I will never be a jounin. In the end we'd only make each other insane." Shikamaru didn't dare look at the woman who could murder him where he lay, staring instead at a cloud shaped like an hourglass.

"I'd like it if we could still be friends," he added five minutes later when she still hadn't hit him.

Finally she muttered, "I'm going to be sick."

He felt her body rise off the ground and the pounding of her feet as she ran into the bushes where the retching sound soon followed. The Shadow-Nin closed his eyes silently cursing his father, before getting to his feet and walking in the opposite direction from the bushes and the sound of muffled sobs.

"This must be what Neji's always going on about ," he sighed.

o-o-o

"Congratulations Lady Temari, your test was positive!" Beamed the Sunagakure nurse exactly four days later.