so i hope you all enjoy and please review. chapter one will be up in a few days and if you like check me out on AO3 at the same username.

it wasn't supposed to have happen this way. Wash was supposed to come back whole and uninjured. He was supposed to come back to Tucker. But do things ever go according to plan? Of course not and Tucker was paying the ultimate price for it.

"Captain Tucker I think we should head back towards our main forces were outnumbered here" Tucker glance to the side to see who was talking to him and of course it was Paloma.

"So what if were outnumbered we have fucking alien weapons Paloma, god I hate you" Tucker peaked over the boulders that that his squad was currently hiding behind.

"Okay, on the count of three were going to take the two on the left out, the one on the right and the guy directly in front of us"

"Sir, shouldn't we have someone covering us?"

"I guess you're right, uh what your name was again, eh not important right now so we'll have…"

"I'll do it sir" Paloma said enthusiastically. Tucker stared at him for a minute.

"NO" There was an awkward silence between all of them for a moment. Before gun fire erupted in front of them.

"Sir we should hurry up I think there about to come over here" said the solider that Tucker couldn't remember the name of. Tucker sighed.

"Fine"

"Thank you sir, I'll have your back for sure don't worry"

"I fucking hate you Paloma"

"On my mark" Tucker turned and got ready.

"One" he could feel his men tensing getting ready to jump out of there cover.

"Two" the gun fire from the enemy began to die down and almost completely stop"

"THREE!" they ran out from under there cover the three others went straight for the ones to Tuckers left and Tucker went for the guy in the middle. His two squad members quickly dealt with their enemies, but Tucker hesitated were there was once a guy behind cover in front and on the right there was nobody.

"Shit, Paloma it's an ambush!" Tucker turned in time to see that Paloma was being over whelmed by the guys and some buddy's they most of radioed over. Tucker knew he was in trouble he knew he wasn't fast enough to turn around and run for cover so he did the only thing that was logical he shot at them. He got three of them before they could go for cover. From where Tucker was it appeared that Paloma was just unconscious unfortunately for Tucker. Tucker back pedaled to where his squad members were.

"Okay I'm going to go out there and you guys are going to cover me okay? Good" with that Tucker once again ran out to the boulders. He shot one of them, he heard a shot go off behind him but didn't feel anything. He quickly turned and stared in horror. Standing in front of him was Wash.

"Wash what the hell you are…" he didn't get to finish before Wash's body fell to the ground. Tucker swore he fired a shot at the man that were ambushing them then grabbed Wash's shoulders and pulled him into a sitting position on the boulders he pushed Paloma out of the way and heard a groan come from him. Luckily for Tucker Carolina had seen what had happened and had directed some of Chorus's men over to them as more of Charon's men were headed towards them. When Tucker was sure they were safe he gave Wash a quick glance over Tucker could tell it wasn't good. Wash's breathing was coming in short bursts and blood was trying to pouring out of the wound. Tucker tried to stop the blood by pressing down on it with his hand but with his hand but the bleeding wouldn't stop. The bullet had it Wash in the chest plate and Tucker came to realize that the guys that were shooting at them must have gotten a hold of one of the alien guns they had because no normal weapon could leave a wound this big. Tucker was internally panicking. He reached for his bio-foam hoping, no praying that it would help. As he went to apply it though Wash grabbed his hand. Tucker looked up at him and gave him a questioning look. Wash shook his head at him from side to side saying no

"Wash I know this will hurt like a bitch but trust me it'll help" a clear lie Tucker knew and so did Wash.

"Tucker it's not going to work, looks like I'm not making it out of this one" Wash's voice was just barely above a whisper. Tucker was in almost full panic mode but he tried to stay calm.

"Of course you will don't be stupid, me and Carolina will take you to Grey and she'll patch you up, you'll be, you'll be fine besides you've been through far worse"

"Tucker you have no idea where grey is and even if you did I'd bleed out before you could get me to her"

"Then, then we'll radio her tell her to come to us" Tucker knew he was grasping at straws but he had to he couldn't lose Wash not after everything they'd been through.

"She won't get here in time Tucker" Tucker went to argue this point but Carolina cut him off.

"He's right, Tucker there's nothing we can do I'm sorry"

"You're just giving up?! Both of you!" Tucker ripped his helmet off he knew it was stupid and could get him killed but he was panicked and wasn't thinking. The reality of the situation was finally setting in and he was terrified of losing him.

"Wash come on, you have to be alright, you have to" Tucker tried to keep the quiver of fear out of his voice but failed. Wash reached to take his helmet off. He placed it to the side. Then looked at Tucker who refused to meet his gaze. Wash sighed.

"Look at me, Tucker there's nothing you can do". Tears started to fall from Tuckers eyes, not even trying to hold them back.

"No, No you promised, you promised!" Tucker was getting hysterical, you could hear the pain in his voice.

"I know I did and..."

"This is my fault! Fuck this is all my fault, im sorry, im"

"SHUT UP FOR A MINTUE TUCKER" Tucker clamped his mouth shut and stared at Wash. Already he could tell Wash was fading, his face turning pale the light in his eyes fading. Wash motioned for him to move closer so sat down and laced his fingers through Wash's.

"First this wasn't your fault I chose to take that bullet for you, and im sorry" Wash paused and took a breath. Tucker opened his mouth to say something but Wash glared at him.

"Im sorry for never getting the chance to meet Junior. Im sorry for not being able to see this war to the end, and most importantly for not being able to be there when you'll need me" Wash took in a shaky breath before continuing.

"But I'm happy that I met all of you especially you Tucker you showed me how to live again, you all taught me how to be a better person" another pause

"Besides I knew there was always a possibility of me dying, just promise me you'll be okay without me looking out for you" Tucker shook his head no because there was no way in hell after all this he was going to be "okay". There was no way in hell that after seeing his boyfriend die was he ever going to be okay again. Wash gave him a pained expression.

"Take care of Caboose okay and look out for the reds will you? Carolina can you do something for me?"

"Sure thing Wash" Tucker didn't miss the crack in her voice. Tucker knew this must have been so much worse for her, losing the only friend she had from project freelancer.

"Don't take off again okay and look out for these idiots for me because god trouble just seems to follow them, can you do that for me Lina?"

"Yeah Wash, I can, I can do that" Wash turned his attention back to Tucker.

"I love you" Wash took on last shaky breath and then not another, his hand went lax in Tuckers hand. Tucker sobbed, he cried his eyes out, and felt the pain of loss radiate throughout his body.

"Tucker" Carolina said carefully as if speaking to a child. Tucker looked at her startled in his outburst he hadn't realized that she was still there.

"We have to go"

"Im not leaving him here Carolina"

"You have to" Tucker began to protest but Carolina continued before he could.

"You can come back for him after, he wouldn't want you to stay here its too dangerous". Tucker grabbed his helmet from the ground and stood up. He nodded at Carolina. And walked past her. He didn't realize it for a minute but she wasn't following him. He turned around to see her kneeling by Wash's body.

"What are you-"he didn't get to finish as Carolina strode over to him, she gestured for him to stick out his hand. He slowly did so not understanding why she wanted him to do so. She carefully placed something in his hand.

"He'd want you to have them". Tucker stared down at his hand for a moment and nearly broke down again. In his hand on a simple chain was not only Wash's dog tags but his and Tucker's engagement ring. Tucker wore a similar one around his neck. It had only been a few days since Wash had proposed. Looking at the ring made tucker feel empty, almost hollow inside. He put the chain around his neck and then under his armor. He then followed Carolina to his Squad.

"Sir are you" the squad member who came forward hesitated as he asked the question they all knew he wasn't all right.

"I don't want to talk about it"

"Okay uh sir where's Paloma?" Tucker paused before he began to speak

"He's over by, by Wash's, Wash's body" Tucker choked out the words. His squad shifted nervously.

"Is, is he dead, is Paloma dead?"

"No he's not just knocked unconscious, you guys go get him I'm going back to the meeting point with Carolina, don't die". His squad nodded and began to move out. Tucker yelled out to them to turn around. They figured he was going to tell them to tell Paloma that he hated him like usual.

"Tell Paloma that he's one lucky son of a bitch". Tucker could tell that his squad was really confused but Tucker didn't have it in him right now to be mean even to Paloma.

They find the others fairly quickly, discus plans. Tucker barely pays attention until Caboose finally realizes Wash isn't there.

"Excuse me Tucker where is Agent Washingtub?"

"Yeah where is he thought he'd want to be here for this" Griff adds ignoring Caboose.

"He's…gone" the reds stare at him for a minute as they process this, Caboose uncomprehending

"When's he coming back" Caboose asks. Tucker hates his childish ignorance at the moment, hates that he has to be the one to tell him. He begins to speak but gets cut off by Epsilon and was grateful.

"He isn't coming back buddy" Caboose stares at Epsilon a moment and Epsilon continues

"Guys I know this is a shock but we have to finish this we have to beat Hargrove so can we get back to the plan" there was a nod of agreement from they went over it more than once by Carolina's insistence.

"Carolina we'll be fine" Epsilon said.

"Just making sure"

"We really will be fine you know we'll all make it back I promise right epsilon" Tucker asked.

"Right we'll…all come back" Tucker noticed the pause but didn't mention it.

They left and headed to their destination not everything going to plan specifically Locus shooting Felix. And Hargrove showing up. One thing lead to another and look there one Hargrove's plane trapped by his men getting ready to fight their way out. Tucker stood waiting just like the rest of them for the door to burst open. Epsilon had strangely enough gone quiet after Tucker had spoken to him. After what felt like a life time the door finally gave away but Tucker didn't see anything but a bright light.

"What the hell" Was all he could say as everything around him seemed to rewind he watched as everything that had happened seemed to happen again but only this time in reverse. It happened slowly and then speed up Tucker could see glimpses here and there, Wash making him do training, epsilon as a weird sphere thing, his days in the dessert temple with Donut, and even back in Blood Gulch he took off his helmet thinking it was replaying old video files or something but nope the time was still going backwards. "Am I dead?" Tucker thought to himself he didn't remember dying. Finally everything went white before Tucker was thrown into an unfamiliar surroundings. He looked around and found himself surrounded by a group of soldiers staring at him out of all of them only a few looked familiar and only two of them he could call teammates.
"Wash?"

"Who the hell are you?"