Hi, okay, there is a warning; this does contain spoilers from about book 14 up or something. Definitely from book 16, and beyond. So if you want to find out what happens as you're reading the book, looking at the pictures to guide you, then I wouldn't read this fabulous fanfic, as you will be upset. And I warned you, so don't go blaming me!

Chapter 1: What's so Great About Portable Gardening Magazines?

It was just a normal day in Shigure Sohma's house. So far the sliding door had been fixed 21 times, broken 22. Tohru had cooked enough for 7 people, the boys had eaten enough for 8. Kyo had challenged Yuki to a match 43 times, and had been beaten to pulp as a result 44. And Snarglepuss, the evil, voodoo hippy, was skulking around Yuki's room, going through his porn collection. And it was only 9 in the morning.

Yep, a normal, ordinary day in the- hmmm… did any of that seem unusual to you? I don't think all those numbers made sense?… Anyway, all was at peace in the house, until…

"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!"

It echoed throughout the entire estate. Kyo stopped working out in the backyard while sneaking glances at Tohru, who stopped hanging out the washing while sneaking glances at Kyo, and even Shigure had stopped pretending to write while actually spying on the two lovebirds sneaking glances at each other, to see Yuki storm down the stairs.

"This is an outrage," he screamed, torrents of spit flying from his snarling mouth, "Get everyone here right now! I want to see Akito right down to your friends Tohru! NOW!"

Seeing as how he had called Tohru by her first name and taking it, like any intelligent person would, as a sign that this guy was in serious need of a time-out, the frightened tenants rushed around as quickly as they could. They made phone calls, rang pagers, sent emails, and even shouted at the top of their lungs until basically everyone they had ever met was at the house. Here's what the scene looked like:

Tohru was between Arisa and Saki, all three of them crying and hugging each other.

Kyo was standing far against the wall, trying to dislodge Kagura, who was clinging pathetically to him so he could comfort Tohru.

Shigure, who was amused but curious, was standing next to Hatori, who in turn looked a little bit put out by all of this (but not too much, because this IS Hatori).

Ayame was on Shigure's other side, and was chatting obliviously to himself because Mine was looking after the shop.

Kureno and Akito stood in the corner. Akito looking furious that she had been ordered around, but was slightly too scared of Yuki at the moment (not that she'd ever admit it), and Kureno was staring at Arisa, wishing desperately to comfort her.

Kisa, hiding behind Tohru for support, was whimpering while Hiro had his arm around her shoulder (awwww…).

Ritsu was trying to apologise for whatever had happened, but couldn't, due to Haru's hand over his mouth.

Haru himself was smirking at Yuki with his other arm around Rin's waist, while she just scowled.

Kazuma was wondering if maybe teaching Yuki martial arts was such a good idea after all.

Momiji was licking a lollipop.

Kakeru was giggling uncontrollably at the Princess who had probably ran out of lipstick.

Kimi was shocked and let everybody know by repeating "Kimi is shocked!"

Machi was looking pretty nonchalant about the whole thing, but her brain was thinking about how sexy Yuki looked when steaming angry.

But onto more important matters, like say, the plotline?

So they all were gathered and Yuki is about to tell them why he got them all here. Okay, let's go.

"I have called you all here," Yun-Yun the ever so regal started, through gritted teeth, a voice of forced calm echoed around the now dead silent room, "because a catastrophic event has just occurred. I went up to my room just now, to look at my porn, ah, er, porn…table? Portable? PORTABLE gardening magazines, and found them in ruins. BUT NOT JUST THAT! I felt so sad that I went to slump onto my bed, but there was a problem… Someone was already IN MY BED!"

A moment's silence, then catcalls and "good on you Yuki" filled the room. About time he got a girlfriend.

"It's not like that guys! It wasn't a girl!"

Noise died down almost instantly, and then an "I knew it", from practically everyone in the room could be heard.

"It's not like that either! I'm not gay!"

Scoffs all 'round, and "as if" was pretty popular too.

"Look, it wasn't a girl OR a boy. It was a hippy!"

"AAHHH!!!!!!!"

Everyone looked around, looking for the girl that had screamed. But couldn't find her, as Kyo had broken down into hysteric sobs, and fainted… manly. Not even Tohru was as terrified as him. Luckily, Kazuma came in a saved his son's pride and dignity.

"When he was 7 a hippy gave him a flower."

"So?"

"It was a Jonquil" (for a picture of a Jonquil follow this link, they suck)

"Aahhhh…."

Yuki was thoroughly annoyed, this was HIS moment! "Okay, back to me!"

"Actually, it's back to me. As I'm the one you're all discussing."

YES, it was Snarglepuss the evil voodoo hippy!!!