Disclaimer: I do not own Mulder and Scully. Hee hee hee…Please review.

"Twas the Night Before Christmas: X-file Style

'Twas the night before Christmas, and throughout that night,

Sat Scully with Mulder, praying for respite.

His files he searched, with the utmost of care,

With hopes that his sister could be found in there.

Then all over the basement, there rang such a clatter,

Mulder jumped up, to see what was the matter.

Scully crept to the door, in a picture of stealth,

Mulder just cringed and wet himself.

"There's nothing there!" Scully wonderingly said.

" I think the noise came from up overhead!"

"What could it be?" Mulder asked, as he changed.

"It could be the flukeman! It could be deranged!"

" I don't think it is so." Scully said with a pause.

"Mulder, it might be Santa Claus!"

"Scully!" cried Mulder, eyes wide with surprise,

"Don't tell me you believe in those Yuletide lies!"

Scully opened the door, and in a voice quite uncouth,

Said, "Mulder, we're going up on the roof!"

Then she charged towards the lift, her red hair a'flyin'

Mulder soon followed his thoughts all of dying.

Into the cold, they ran with great haste,

To lay the Santa Claus myth to waste,

Before them sat a sleigh full of toys

For good little girls and good little boys.

Scully approached the sleigh without fear,

She cried, "Mulder, look! Those are reindeer!"

"But where's Santa?" Mulder asked as he looked,

"Did he fall off the building? If so, his goose's cooked."

From behind them a jolly voice came through the snow,

"Merry Christmas you two! HO HO HO HO!"

Both Mulder and Scully turned 'round to stare,

And gasped in horror at the sight that stood there.

Santa's fingers were yellow, from excess nicotine,

And between his red lips, a Morley was seen.

"Cancerman's Santa!" Mulder yelped in surprise,

while aiming his gun between Cancerman's eyes.

Scully was livid, that much could be seen,

She too aimed her gun at the head of the fiend.

Cancerman looked at them both, and started to smile.

" Hello my dear friends. It's been quite awhile."

"I know you won't shoot me, because if you try,

kids won't get their presents, and then they will cry!"

Said Scully to Mulder, as she shed a small tear,

"Mulder, don't kill him! We'll kill Christmas cheer!"

"You're right," Mulder said, as he stifled a sob.

"There's no way I'll kill Santa! No sir'ee-bob!"

Mulder and Scully let Cancerman go,

And it seemed as though it was the end of the show.

But as Santa flew away, they suddenly postulated,

The whole Christmas season was quite overrated!

And with weapons held high, full of purposeful mission,

They pumped Cancerman full of lead ammunition.

The reindeers were happy. Mulder and Scully were too.

The moral of this tale?

Smoking's BAD for you.

The End