Outrageous
By A.J Turner
Chapter One: Almost
This was outrageous. The studying-all-night-before-an-exam-and-failing-just-because-the-teacher-doesn't-like-you kind of outrageous, I was once again forced to another one of my families ridiculous family functions.
This function was so all my lame arse male relatives (myself unfortunately included) could find wives in other pureblood families. It was exactly how my parents had met, and my cousins, and all other pureblood people meet…
I'm a wizard, my parents are wizards, and everyone in my family is a wizard. If by some tragic occurrence someone turns out not to be a wizard they are not a related to me, they get disowned.
Lots of things get you disowned, marrying a muggle (non-magical person), supporting muggle things, associating with muggles, marrying someone of muggle background, and supporting a wizard marrying a muggle etcetera.
My family is stupid, they think just because they're not muggles, and don't associate with anything to do with muggles they are some how better then everyone else.
They're not; they are just really stupid which makes them think these stupid things.
This was exactly why I was going to be forced to marry another pureblood girl. She'd have nothing to do with muggles, and that would keep the family line 'pure', or so my parents say. I think it makes us inbred hicks… eventually we're going to run out and my great-great-great grandson will be marrying his own sister or something.
My own best friend is my fourth cousin three times removed or my third cousin four times removed… I don't know, his family don't mind muggles so they're not considered very important to my family.
But enough about that… very soon I'd be picking my wife at random. Picking the girl I was to spend my life with, from a hat.
I sighed and stared at the girl opposite me. Her long brown hair covered her face and she sniffed occasionally.
Beside her was Rodolphus Lestrange, he was drunk and was hitting on this poor girl, who was only about fifteen, which was more then ten years his junior.
"Come on… one dance" Rodolphus said petting her with his perverted hands. It was disturbing to watch.
"Please" the girl sobbed as Rodolphus moved closer
"Gonna cut that out?" I asked him.
"What's it to you?"
"I just don't think your girlfriend would be to please is all" I said
"Bella?" he said spinning to look around the room. I grabbed the water jug off the table and smashed him over the head with it.
The girl jumped back and watched as he fell to the floor. I smiled at her.
"Wanna dance?" I asked
"Uh…" she said
"Great" I said taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor.
"Um… thank you," she said as we began to dance.
"That is more then fine. I've been looking for a reason to hit him," I said glancing at Rodolphus; he'd fallen under the table so there was the high chance no one would find him.
I spun the girl around and then pulled her close.
"Oh uh… I'm Sophia by the way," she said
"Sophia who?" I asked
"Yep"
"Your last name is who?" I asked
"W-H-O-U-E" she said.
"You poor girl" I said she laughed
"I'm Sirius"
"Is there a last name that goes with that?" she asked
"Black" I said
"You're the Sirius Black?" she asked
"I didn't realise I was the Sirius Black… I'm a Sirius Black"
"Sorry… it's just… well your rather popular among the ladies aren't you?"
"How old are you?" I asked
"Fourteen… but I hear all the women talking about you. Wishing they weren't married to their hideous husbands. I understand why I mean you're popular among the younger girls too"
"Are you included in that?" I asked
"Well… I… you are cute…" she said quietly.
"Sorry. Couldn't hear you over the music" I said
"Your cute ok?" she said a little louder. I smiled and spun her once more.
"So Sophia, are you in this little wedding raffle?" I asked
"Yes unfortunately"
"Wow fourteen and already being forced onto a husband, how 1880's," I said
"Well how old are you?"
"Seventeen… legal age to find myself a wife. I think it's a little weird though… especially if I get little Susie. She's what four?"
"She's ten and happens to be my sister"
"Ouch, I hear she's a brat"
"She is, I think it's completely wrong her being auctioned off like this"
"Well she can't get married till she's of age, she'll be engaged for a while though"
"Aren't you engaged yet? I mean weren't you engaged at fourteen or something?"
"Nope, the men are always of age. Just how the sick pureblood race works," I said.
The song ended and I let her go then bowed respectfully to her while she giggled.
"Uh… do you want another dance?" she asked
"Do you like dancing?" I asked pulling her close.
"With you yes… but also there's less chance of being hit on by drunk relatives"
"Related to Rodolphus are you?"
"Yes… he's my uncle"
"Oh that's really disturbing. Did he forget you're his niece?" I asked
"No… he knows exactly who I am"
"That's even more disturbing" I said Sophia shrugged.
"So… fourteen huh? That's a crazy age," I said
"Well today's my birthday so I've only just turned fourteen. I don't know how crazy it is yet"
"That means you were thirteen yesterday… wow… engaged on your birthday… that sucks," I said
"I know. And I've still never been kissed… I'll have to be faithful to my engagement… like he'd want to touch me while I'm underage"
"Well look at from his point of view… it's really weird," I said.
"I know… stupid rules. I hate being pureblood"
"Doesn't everybody?" I asked
"I don't" Lucius Malfoy said I glanced at his wife, my cousin, Narcissa, deciding whether what I had to say was appropriate in front of her. It was. I glared at him and spun Sophia around.
"Shut it Malfoy you snake fucker" I hissed
"Cradle robber," he replied
"Mine was better" I said and pulled Sophia back to me then danced away.
"You didn't hear that did you?" I asked Sophia
"No" she said shaking her head.
"Good don't need to taint you with my foul language"
"I'm not a child," she said
"No… you are most certainly not but nobody's ears deserve tainting" I said. She sighed and rolled her eyes
"I hate how everyone's trying to control me. Saying I'm a kid, I can't look after myself. Always telling me what to do, what to wear, who to marry!"
"It's outrageous I know, and I meant nothing by whatever I said that annoyed you" I said. The song ended and I let her go, she smiled at me.
"I know," she said.
"Your turn to pick a bride" my father snapped.
"Terribly sorry Sophia my dear but I must take my leave," I said dad glared at me while Sophia giggled.
I bowed to her again and kissed her hand, which made her turn bright red and laugh uncontrollably.
I smiled and followed my father to where my mother stood with my oh-so-perfect younger brother. Stupid golden child who could do no wrong.
I grabbed a drink from a waiter walking past then stopped in front of my assembled family and took a sip.
"Pick a wife" mum ordered. I frowned at her
"From the little bag, they're all pureblood women so whoever you choose we'll approve of" mum said
"And that's all I want mother. Your approval in a bride" I said and stuck my hand in the bag.
Sophia Whoue
I glanced at Sophia sitting alone silently praying to herself no one would flirt with her.
She didn't deserve an arranged marriage at only fourteen… it's not right. I chucked the slip of paper in the fire. Now no one could get her.
"Who'd you get?" mum asked looking into the fireplace.
"Regulus" I said pointing to my brother
"What? How? They're only girls names in there" dad said
"Well technically Regulus is a girl but it's actually illegal for me to marry someone that closely related to me" I said nodding. Regulus frowned at me then looked at mum.
"Pick someone else then" mum said.
"Ah but that'd leave an odd number females. I'll do the right thing and go it alone for ever" I said
"Or at least let some lucky bird get two husbands" Regulus said I raised my drink to him and looked at my parents.
"I like that… I'll have sex with her and the other bloke can do all the stupid caring shit" I said
"Sirius" dad said I rolled my eyes and put my hand back in the bag.
"Bellatrix Black?" I said showing them the slip of paper.
"First cousin I don't have to" I said
"Well someone else will put it back" mum said I put the paper back and pulled out another one.
"Bellatrix? Ok I bet they're all her. I quit," I said scrunching up the paper and throwing it at my mum.
"Sirius… you must find an acceptable bride"
"Yeah I'm going to go with a modern method and just wait for a chick to walk along. If she's a pureblood I'll let you know if not I know I'm out of the family," I said.
"Boy" dad said and grabbed my collar pulling me close. "You'll pick a bride now and if it happens to be your cousin then you will suck it up and marry her"
"Can't do that daddy it's actually illegal. And I know how law abiding this family is" I said he glared at me.
Nearly all my relatives are in jail or on the run from being in jail or have been in jail before. Like dad, he only got out two years ago.
"Pick someone"
"Make me," I said
"Oh I'll make you" dad said and went to hit me. I ducked and then stood up straight to see him coming at me with a chair. I stared at him for a split second before I realised I should move. I dived right into my brother. We both hit a waiter and got sent right into the table Rodolphus was under. The table broke and the four of us were covered in food.
I quickly pulled Regulus out of the chairs way. It smashed where he was just lying.
We both looked at dad who was searching for more weapons.
"Always disobeying me!" he shouted glaring at me.
"Orion no!" mum shouted.
"Lets think about this rationally," I said stepping back with Regulus as a shield.
"Sirius you're going to get killed" Regulus whispered
"No you are… I'm going to escape slightly wounded"
"Disrespecting this family" dad yelled smashing another chair to use the leg as a weapon.
"Never, ever intentionally" Regulus said trying to calm my father down and get away from me.
"If I go down you're coming with me," I hissed.
"Ruined your mothers nice party. You know how often a Black gets to host a family function?" dad asked slowly advancing on Regulus and I.
"I'm going with never because they're always in jail" I said over Regulus shoulder.
"Damn right!" dad shouted and threw the chair leg. I pulled Regulus away and watched as dad grabbed a waiter. Yes a physical human being.
He threw the poor man and I spun around so he hit me instead of Regulus. We were all sent crashing to the floor.
"Ow! Fuck! Who throws a person?" I asked pushing the poor waiter off me.
"I do! Now you're going to come home quietly. Try and repent for ruining your mothers party and spend the rest of your life in your bedroom" dad said
"I'm not ok with that," I said nodding.
"You'll be locked in there so long that not even your own grandchildren will be able to recognise sunlight" dad said grabbing another chair.
I pulled Regulus up and held him in front of me once more.
"Oh so I get hit with the chairs and you get the people is this how it's going to work?" Regulus asked.
"Yes" I said and we walked further back. I glanced around and saw everyone in the room was watching.
"Uncle Orion stop it" Narcissa Malfoy cried. She ran over and stood in front of Regulus and I.
"Cissy?" I said
"It's not for you filthy blood traitor"
"Just checking you hadn't lost your mind," I replied.
"Cissy what are you doing?" my cousin Bellatrix shouted.
"Look as long as he's got his claws on Regulus I'm going to care" Narcissa said. Bellatrix rolled her eyes and came over and stood in front of Narcissa.
"Thanks guys" Regulus said
"Shut up!" they snapped and looked at dad.
"Fine" dad said putting the chair down. He nodded and turned away.
Narcissa and Bellatrix relaxed and then turned to see if Regulus was all right.
"NO!" dad shouted grabbing the chair and hitting both Narcissa and Bellatrix out of the way.
This made their partners mad. Lucius and Rodolphus both dived on my father and tried to kill him with their hands.
"I'm going to get blamed for this aren't I?" I whispered to Regulus.
"Yeah"
"Crap" I said and realised dad had gotten both Lucius and Rodolphus off him.
I pushed Regulus away and got hit over the back with dads chair. It shattered and I fell over on top of Regulus.
"Sorry" I said getting off him and standing up. I limped as fast as I could while dad grabbed another chair.
Regulus ran over and began to help me to the exit. We both ran out into the street.
"Hey Regulus check it. I didn't spill my drink," I said drinking the entire glass then dropping in on the ground. I began to stumble off down the street.
"I'm so screwed… I'm so screwed" Regulus said catching up with me to help me walk.
"Why are you screwed?" I asked
"I helped you escape. Merlin! They're never going to let me come home"
"Of course they will. You helped them get rid of me… just keep putting it like that. Me I can never go home, not that I want to. I'm going to crash at a friends place till I get enough money to buy my own place"
"You're running away?" Regulus asked as we walked away from the dance hall my parents had rented.
"Yeah… I'll get you to send my things down. Then I'll never have to go back"
"Sirius… I…"
"You'll still see me at school. You're one of the Blacks I like… I can't not talk to you again," I said
"But… you'd be leaving me with them"
"Don't worry daddy dearest will be back in jail before you know it. Assaulting five people, throwing a waiter, damaging private property. All minor charges but for a man with his record he'll be away for some time. And mum adores you, you'll be fine with her"
"Well… how are you going to get to this friends if you can't even walk?" Regulus asked.
"That is the beauty of having a thumb. I shall hitchhike… or use magic… I hadn't decided," I said tripping on my own feet.
"You can barely stand…"
"Yes a chair in the back will do that to you" I said standing up straight.
"Do you want me to take you?"
"No, you get back to the party… enjoy your new bride"
"I can't get a bride till I'm seventeen… not that I want one"
"Liar… I saw you checking out little Georgia Tate"
"She's ten!"
"Fifteen actually"
"Oh… well I suppose… I wasn't checking her out," Regulus snapped. I laughed and fell over pulling him down with me.
"Come on… we'll take the Knight Bus. Which friend are you staying at?"
"If I tell you you'd tell mum and dad," I said as Regulus stood up
"You know I wouldn't and how am I going to mail your things if I don't know where you're going?" Regulus asked watching me pull myself up. I stared at him
"Come on Sirius. Where are you going?" he asked. I sighed and dusted myself off.
"James Potters" I said.
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Hello readers,
Ah the third in the series… I plan on five, on for each Marauder and then Lily, still working on Remmy's chapter and have not even begun on for Peter. But it's Peter who cares?
I had a different idea at the start then scrapped it for this, I like this better, obviously I did published this one, I hope you like it too but I won't know unless you review. Hah! I rhymed… sorta… sorry tiredness makes me hyper.
Anyhoo… till next time guys, A.J
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