So I just got through rewatching the horrific crap that Mark called an eppy. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. It was crap. He couldn't even give us BLers the common courtesy of an okay closure scene. It's like he just wanted to rush their ending, as if the past two seasons didn't happen. Anyways I just wanted to write a little something to show how I wish it would have ended.
Finally Chosen
"Now this is more like it. Listen I just wanted to say I'm sorry that we didn't get to spend more time together tonight."
"How did it go with Brooke?"
"I realized tonight it's over between me and Brooke. She realized it too."
"I love you Lucas."
"I love you too Peyton."
"You don't understand. I've been holding this in for a really long time. You just need to know. I love you. I'm in love with you."
Lucas looked at her. What was going on? Was she serious? Was this really happening? He wasn't sure what was going on. He never thought coming here to see how she was would end in her confession of love. He had just ended things with Brooke. He wasn't ready for anything else, or was he? He had so much going through his mind. Could he be in love with Peyton too? Did he want to be with her? What about Brooke? Did he still love her? Was it a mistake telling her they shouldn't have gone out tonight? He wasn't sure anymore. He wasn't sure about anything anymore. His mind was going back and forth between thoughts of both girls. Peyton was his really good friend who needed someone. She was so fragile right now. It had always been her that he felt the need to help. He couldn't see himself every fully having her out of his life. She was too important, but could they finally be more than just friends? He remembered wanting that so much, but had things changed? He wasn't sure. He didn't know how he felt about her. He knew he was comfortable around her, more so than anybody else lately.
His mind quickly switched to Brooke, her best friend, the girl who he swore was the love of his life. Was that still the case? Did he still love her more than anything in the world? He wasn't sure. They had just officially ended things. When he dropped her off he wasn't sure how things were gonna go and then she said it was a mistake. He wasn't sure how he should react to that, but he knew he didn't want to hurt her anymore so he agreed. If that was how she felt then that was okay. He wasn't sure that was how he felt though. He knew that tonight had been different, it felt so different. It was like they weren't acting like themselves. They weren't comfortable around each other anymore. He took that as it really being over for them so that's what they did. They ended things all the while he had this feeling in the back of his heart saying it was wrong. He pushed it aside and agreed they'd just be friends. He stuck out his hand for her to shake and when she did, he couldn't help but pull her into a hug. They'd been through so much together, a handshake wasn't enough. He then left her there to look back and see her wave. He found himself smiling. If he couldn't have her as a girlfriend he'd take her as a friend.
"Lucas? Please say something. I know this must sound crazy, but it's how I feel. It's how I've felt for a really long time. I just couldn't keep it in any longer."
Lucas once again looked at the beautiful blonde standing in front of him that had knocked him out of his thoughts of Brooke. She was the only one that could get him to do that. She was the only one he found himself leaving Brooke for. Did that mean something? Did it mean he felt the same? Could he love Peyton and still love Brooke at the same time? Who was he in love with? He wasn't sure. He knew he had feelings for Peyton, but they had always just been friendship feelings. It never even crossed his mind that they could be anything more.
"Lucas, I know this is the last thing you expected to hear and I know you probably aren't ready for anything serious since you just ended things with Brooke. I know you are probably in shock, but I need you to say something. You're starting to scare me."
Lucas nodded. He knew she needed him to say something. He knew he needed to say something, but before he knew what he was doing he ran to her and pulled her into a kiss. It was slow and full of feeling. He kissed her like he needed it. He felt her respond and wrap her arms around his neck. He continued to stand there and kiss her for a few moments before pulling away. He placed his hands on her cheeks and smiled."I do love you Peyton. You mean so much to me. I can't imagine my life without you in it, but I'm not in love with you."he watched her face fall and it killed him inside. He hated that he was doing this to her, that he was hurting her like this. Maybe it had been a mistake to kiss her, but he had to do it. He had to see what it was like to kiss her. He needed to see what it felt like, if there was a spark.
"Then why did you kiss me like that?"she whispered as she fought back tears.
"I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have done it, but I needed to know. I needed to see if maybe I felt the same way."
"But you don't."she finished for him in a whisper.
He shook his head."I don't. I'm sorry Peyton. I'm sorry if I led you on in some way."
She shook her head furiously."You didn't. You didn't do anything. It's just how I feel."
"I'm sorry. I don't want this to change anything. I still want us to be friends Peyton. Like I said, I can't picture my life without. You're a big part of it."
"I want that too."she said as she wiped at a few tears."Just give me some time."
"Sure, whatever you need."
"Can I ask you something?"she asked.
"Sure."
"Is it because of Brooke? Do you still love her?"
Lucas shook his head and shrugged."I don't know. Maybe, but she just wants to be friends."
"You need to go to her and figure it out Lucas. If you're still in love with her than tell her. Do something about it. Don't keep it in like me. You might miss out on a good thing. Brooke still loves you Lucas. She's just hurt. Don't let her use that as an excuse to push you away."
'I will."said Lucas pulling her into a hug."Thank you Peyton."she smiled at him."I'll see ya around."he added before walking out the door.
Peyton watched him leave, her heart breaking the further he got from her. This wasn't what she thought would happen when she told him. She honestly thought he felt the same. She really thought they'd get their chance to be together. That was the only reason she risked her friendship with Brooke. It wasn't the case though. Lucas was in love with Brooke and there wasn't anything left for her to do, but be happy for them.
All she really wanted was for Lucas to be happy and loved. She thought she'd be the one that gave it to him, but she was wrong. He already was happy and loved. Brooke was the one that gave it to him and she'd messed it all up by her confession. She knew Brooke was still in love with Lucas and had only ended things with him for her. After the conversation they had at the banquet Brooke knew what it was she was waiting for and tonight she gave it to her. She officially ended things with Lucas, not because she didn't love him, but because she loved her as well. She was being a good friend and that's what her the most. As much as it had to be hurting Brooke she was still willing to give up the guy she loved so that he and her best friend could be happy together. No one had as big a heart as her.
Brooke pulled her hair back in a tight ponytail. She wasn't in the mood to dry it tonight. She took one final look in the mirror and sighed. Tonight definitely hadn't gone as she planned. She made her way into the room and once again glanced at her photo album. She'd spent so much time going through it tonight. It reminded her of all the good times they had together. She loved thinking about them. She grabbed it once again and took it with her to bed. She sat in the middle and opened it up.
The wedding. They had taken so many pictures that day. She was happy to be with him that day. She thought more than anything that even though Peyton loved him they would be okay because he loved her. That was before he accidentally told her about the kiss. She needed to turn the page. She didn't want to start thinking about all that.
The beach. Their first real kiss after deciding to date casually. The circumstances weren't the best, but that didn't change how she felt when they were together. He was willing to do anything to have her with him, even if it meant sharing her with other guys. She turned another page.
The cabin. Haley had taken this picture without them knowing. They were looking at each other and laughing. She was so in love with him then and it showed. She swore he felt the same and the sparkle in his eyes as he looked at her proved it. They had such a good time that weekend. She remembered not wanting that time to end, but it had, just like her relationship with him had ended.
It was her fault really and she knew it. She was the one that ended their relationship because of her insecurities and as right as she might have been in doing so it didn't mean it hurt less. She hated the fact that he didn't tell her about the kiss. She understood that to him it meant nothing and he only wanted to spare her heartache, but that hadn't happened. He didn't know that the kiss meant something to Peyton.
Everything had gotten so turned around. This wasn't how the end of their senior year was supposed to go. She wasn't supposed to be without the guy that she loved more than anything and she wasn't supposed to feel like she could never trust the one person that was supposed to be there forever.
She missed Peyton so much it hurt, but she couldn't do anything about that hurt. They couldn't be friends again, not after everything that had happened. Especially not now that Peyton was going to finally tell Lucas how she felt. She knew that Lucas would go to see Peyton once he left her. He would tell her that they were really over and Peyton would know that it was for real this time. Her talk with Peyton at the banquet had been an eye opener. Peyton really and truly was in love with Lucas, but was willing to say and do nothing about it until she was sure that she was over him. As much as she wanted to hate her and a part of her still did, she couldn't help but see that she was trying in her own way to be a good friend. She hadn't lied and went after Lucas like she thought she would. Sure they spent every waking moment and even their sleeping moments together, but it had really just been friendly.
How could she not do the same? How could she be the selfish one in the bunch? She couldn't. Peyton was willing to hide her feelings for Lucas so he could be happy with her so she had to do the same, no matter how hard it was going to be. Because the truth was, Lucas wasn't happy with her. She could see that. It always came back to Peyton, helping Peyton, protecting Peyton, keeping Peyton's secret. She could tell he was in love with her even if he wouldn't admit it. She knew that once he found out about her feelings for him they'd get together. It as what was meant to be. So she would have to step aside and let them be together. She just wanted him to be happy and if Peyton was the one that made that happen then so be it.
She wiped away the tears that began to rapidly fall. It was the right thing to do. Lying to Lucas about how she felt was the right thing to do, but that didn't make it hurt any less. Hearing him agree that they had made a mistake trying to get back together hurt, but in the end it only made her feel like the decision she made was the right one because he obviously didn't have feelings for her anymore.
She held the book to her tight and let the tears fall freely. Tonight was her night. Tonight she would allow herself to cry and hurt, but once morning came it all had to change. She had to seem okay that they were going to be together. She knew he'd be worried about her reaction so she knew she'd have to seem okay for him, so he wouldn't feel bad. She'd be willing to that for him because she loved him.
She lowered herself into a lying position and cradled the book in front of her.
Lucas opened the door and jumped out of the car before it had even fully stopped. He needed to see her. He wasn't sure how she would react to what he had to say, but he had to do it. Peyton had been strong in taking a risk and telling him how she felt so he had to do the same thing. Brooke was too important to him to keep in how he really felt. He knew it had been a mistake agreeing with her about them needing to be just friends, but he did it anyways because he thought that was what she wanted. He couldn't do it any longer. Even if it she still wanted to be just friends at least she'd know how he felt. She'd know that he still loved her more than anything. She'd know that he never would have chosen Peyton over her. She'd know that she was the only one for him.
He took one last deep breath before raising his hand and knocking. It took a few moments, but he heard the door being unlocked. He smiled when she appeared from behind the door. There she was in a pink tank top and matching pajama pants. Her face was rid of the make up she wore earlier and her hair was pulled back in a wet ponytail. She must have just gotten out of the shower. He couldn't help but stare at her. She was gorgeous, probably more so now without her hair and makeup fixed then any other time he'd seen her. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. He knew she was talking, but he couldn't register what she was saying.
"Lucas? Hey are you okay? Luke?"she called out. He wasn't answering and she was becoming worried.
He finally pulled himself out of his daze and focused on her and what she was saying."What?"
"I said are you okay."she said as she took a step forward and out of the house. She was grateful that he was now responding, but she still wasn't sure he was okay."What are you doing here?"
Lucas looked at her more closely now that she was only inches away. He focused on her face and couldn't help but notice how sad she looked."Have you been crying Brooke?"he asked raising his hand to touch her cheek.
She moved out from his grasp and scoffed."No. Why would I be crying?"she asked as she swallowed. She hated the fact that her face had given her away.
"I don't know. Your face just seems flushed."
"I think you're seeing things Lucas. What are you doing here? I thought we said everything that needed to be said."she knew why he was here though. He was going to tell her that he and Peyton were together. This was just like him. He wanted her to hear it from him.
Lucas walked over to her and pulled her to him. He didn't give her the chance to pull away before crashing his lips over hers. He kissed her slowly at first and then with more passion. He deepened the kiss once he felt her respond to it. He couldn't believe it, she was kissing him back. He kissed her with everything he had. He needed her to feel what he felt for her through this kiss because he was still afraid that once it ended she wouldn't give him the chance to explain.
He reluctantly pulled away. He felt it. That spark. That feeling he didn't feel when he kissed Peyton earlier. It was here now that he was with Brooke. This was the feeling that let him know he was doing the right thing. It was always going to be Brooke. He looked over to her needing to know her reaction.
Brooke slowly opened her eyes and touched her now swollen lips before quickly removing them and looking at him."What was that for?"she whispered.
"I lied to you Brooke."he blurted out.
"What?"she asked confused.
"Earlier when I agreed that tonight had been a mistake. It was a lie. I don't think it was."
"Lucas..."
"No, hear me out please."she nodded and he continued."I love you. I still love you more than anything. I miss you. I want to be with you. I know you don't feel the same way about me anymore, but I had to tell you. Going along with what you said earlier was wrong and I couldn't go on with you believing that I no longer loved you."
Brooke shook her head furiously."No. Stop. Don't say that. This is so wrong. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. You agreed that we were just going to be friends. You're supposed to be with Peyton."
"I don't want Peyton Brooke."
Brooke let out a sigh."Lucas she's in love with you. She has been for a really long time. I know you feel the same way so go. Be with her. You two deserve your chance. It's okay. I'm okay with it. We're friends and that's it."
Lucas shook his head."I don't want Peyton."
"Did you not hear me? I said she loves you Lucas."
"I heard you Brooke and I heard her say the same thing earlier, but that doesn't change how I feel. I still love you. Peyton is just a friend. That's all she'll ever be. I have no romantic feelings for her."
"Lucas you need to stop denying you're feelings. It's okay. I'm okay with it, just stop saying you love me. It's not true."she cried.
"I'm not denying my feelings Brooke. I keep telling you I love you because it's the truth."
"Lucas stop. You're making this harder than it has to be."
"No, you're the one doing that. You need to get over this Peyton thing. I don't want her. I want you. I told her that. I'm telling you that now. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do."
"I don't know what you want me to say Lucas."
"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know how I felt. I know about Peyton's feelings for me, but that doesn't change anything. You're still the only one in here."he said as he pointed to his heart. He watched as her face remained expressionless." I know you just want to be friends so okay. That's what we'll do. I'm gonna go ahead go. I'll talk to you later."he gave her a smile before heading down the pathway. This wasn't what he wanted, but there wasn't anything else he could do.
"Wait."she yelled after him.
He quickly stopped hoping she'd changed her mind.
She walked over to him and let out a deep breath before talking."I lied too."
"You did?"
She nodded."Yeah. Peyton told me about her feelings for you the night we put on the Naley skit. I thought we could still be together until you told me about the kiss. I realized then that you had to have feelings for her as well. You just didn't want to hurt me. I thought I was doing the right thing by breaking up with you. I thought that once you found out Peyton was in love with you you'd want to be with her."
"I don't."
"I know that now. I'm sorry. I really thought that it was what you wanted."
Lucas shook his head and rested his arms on her hips."I want you."
"I want you too."said Brooke as she felt the tears slowly roll down her cheek.
"You're a really good friend Brooke. I can't believe you were willing to do this."he said as he wiped away her tears.
She shrugged."It's because I love you...both of you."
"I love you too, but Brooke you need to stop thinking about everyone else first. Sometimes it's okay to be selfish."
She let out a small laugh."You're sure you don't want Peyton."
Lucas rolled his eyes."I just want you. I want you to stop thinking I'm gonna choose her because I'm not. It's always gonna be you."
"Okay. I believe you."she whispered before leaning on her tip toes and kissing him. She messaged her tongue with his before pulling away and resting her head on his chest."Thank you."
"For what?"he asked curiously.
"For loving me enough to fight for me again, for getting through my insecurities, for being you. You pick."
"I already did and I pick you so no more pushing me away."
"I won't. I promise."she said into his chest as he held her tighter. There was no need any longer. Lucas knew about Peyton's feeling and he was still here with her. He'd finally chosen and it was her.