Dean's eyes were glowing with anger and regret as he yanked his arm free from Castiel's hold.
"Cas, I'm a hunter! Hunters live very short lives!" Castiel's gaze fell to the ground before returning to meet Dean's sharp green eyes.
"You're an angel, and last I checked as long as I don't gank you with this blade," Dean's eyes were swimming with unshed tears as he balanced the angel blade in his open palm. "You can't die." Closing his eyes Dean began to pray, begging internally that the tears would not fall.
"But Dean, what if-"
"No Cas! There're too many ifs for this," Dean waved his free hand between himself and Cas. "To work out."
"And if I'd like to have a part in this decision of yours Dean?" Dean tilted his head so his eyes met the piercing electric blue of Castiel's. Dean just shook his head sadly as he began to walk away, forcing himself to stare forward and not glance back. The look on Castiel's face would break him, he just knew it.
"Dean Winchester. I have fought in many a war, I have watched hundreds of thousand of humans rise and fall just because of the emotion you call love, and never have I felt the need to grab a human as tight I wish to do to you and hide them away from the dangers of the world. Everything I have felt when I'm around you is different. My vessel, Jimmy's heart beats for you as if it were my own. Dean, I refuse to allow you to continue on this journey alone."
As Castiel took a calming breath he observed the wind as it rustled Dean's hair. Dean shifted just enough so that he could scrutinize Castiel through his peripheral vision. Dean took a step back, away from Castiel as he moved towards him; the wind causing the bottom of Castiel's coat to flutter around in the air as a cape would, while the collar of his shirt bristled against Adam's apple.
"Dean, you may only be a human, a hunter…and I may be an angel, an angel of the Lord. But I believe that the only true faith that remains within me is the faith that I hold for you." Dean blinked, his concentration wavering as Castiel inched closer to him.
"Dean, you've fought your way through to Hell and back. You've gone up against Death and many other angels of the Lord. You've fought for your mother; you've fought for your brother. Dean, let me be the one to fight for you." Dean's fists were clenched as his whole body trembled. Dean knew he couldn't let Castiel get to him, it was too dangerous. Dean wouldn't be able to handle being the one to hurt Castiel, to break him. Castiel could feel the tension in Dean's muscles as he gently placed his hand on Dean's bicep.
"Dean, I am an angel of the Lord, you are a human. I have broken so many rules to keep you alive, why can you not accept the fact that I care for you?" Dean shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut and looking downwards. His breathing was ragged and Castiel knew something was wrong.
"Cas, there are reasons that I can't be with you. Hell, if I could risk it I would, but I can't." Castiel squeezed Dean's bicep while moving even closer; his shoulder was now brushing up against Dean's.
"Everyone around me gets hurt Cas, you're definitely not going to be an exception. Both sides are against me, the chances of me living much longer are very slim." Dean opened his eyes, sighing with remorse. Slowly he brought his eyes up, meeting Castiel's scrutinizing glare.
"Cas, I would never make you feel the pain of losing a person you…care for. I could be dead tomorrow and you'd be here, alone and broken. It's a risk I could never allow to happen." Castiel's eyes narrowed the clear blue frosting and darkening. With a painful tug Castiel spun Dean so they were now ace to face, their noses pressed together as their breath mingled.
"Dean Winchester. I will do more then just care for you and no matter what risks you take or what you do to try and prevent them from happening I will not only care for you, I will love you with everything I can." Dean could feel the tears once again; he brought his wrists to his eyes pressing onto them roughly. A raspy chuckle left his lips as he backed up slowly.
"Cas, I-I can't do it. You'd be alone, it'd be my fault. I can't do that to someone I-" Dean froze, cool lips pressed against his as hands tore his wrists from his eyes. Castiel opened his eyes slowly, the sharp blue glowing with an electric passion.
"Either way I will be left alone Dean, I would rather be left with some memories of the days I spent with you, the ones I spent with the one I love." Dean took a shaky breath as he gently pressed the tips of his fingers to Castiel's jaw. His eyes were begging, his lashes damp and his eyes glowing.
"Cas…I'd also love to spend as many days with the person I care for, but what if-" Castiel pressed his lips to Dean's once again, effectively silencing his protests. Gently Castiel removed his lips, his palms flat on Dean's cheeks.
"Well Dean, I don't care for you, I love you, so there's nothing wrong with what I am trying to do." Dean blinked, the mixture of a golden brown and a crystal green filling his eyes while he continuously scanned Castiel's face. Dean removed Castiel's hands slowly, cautiously.
"Cas, as I've told you time and time again. I can't risk being with a person I care for." Castiel's eyes fell to the ground, the passion dissipating within seconds as he took a sigh of defeat. Dean brought his fingers to Castiel's chin, forcing their eyes to meet and their noses to touch.
"But maybe, just maybe, I can risk being with the person I love."