Summary: Now in high school, the gang break the fourth wall and Spinelli decides that stomping canon with her army boots would just be awesome.
"What do you mean you're not interested?" TJ gaped. "The producers and writers and ... people have been writing us subtext since the first season!"
"Well they didn't ask me, now did they?" snapped Spinelli. "Why don't you and Lawson make out? You've been flirting forever."
"Me and Lawson? I'd rather kiss Randall!"
Nearby a garbage can rattled and Randall scrambled out. "TJ wants to kiss me, everyone!"
Fortunately, no one heard him.
Gretchen, who, along with the rest of the group, had been giving TJ and Spinelli some space, came over and stood beside Spinelli. "Excuse me, but I believe that while your assessment of TJ's sexual orientation may be correct, based on subtext found in Episode 70, the Big Prank, Episode 77, The Madness of King Bob and select scenes in various movies, your hypothesis that antipathy constitutes preliminary romance rituals is in error. In fact, Robert, formerly known as King Bob and the Prankster Prince, would be a more compatible match for TJ. And one who would reciprocate any display of sexual and/or romantic interest, although I advise you, TJ, that in the event of any mishaps, Bob would be legally liable and could be prosecuted, as an adult."
TJ stared at Gretchen. "Did you just say that Bob and I are ... are crushing on each other?!"
"Of course she did! Didn't you hear her?" Spinelli snorted.
Gretchen smiled. "Perhaps we should give TJ some time to consider all this, Spinelli."
Spinelli shrugged and wrapped her free arm around Gretchen's waist. "As long as he ain't askin' me out again, I don't care."
"We can go work out some new rugby plays that don't defy the laws of physics while we wait."
"What are we waiting for then? Let's go!" Spinelli steered the two of them away from the group. "Are you going to try and teach me math again this time? I've told you, I can't do it. Later, you guys!" she called over her shoulder while Gretchen chuckled.
TJ stared after them, too shocked, for once, to do anything.
"Dude," Vince muttered behind him, "did that just happen?"