A/N: This one I dedicate to my dear reader Roxxie. She gave me an idea.
Summary: After Magnus confessed his feelings towards Alec, the said Shadowhunter wonders how to confess his. But there's his sister to help him with it.
All rights to the characters belongs to Cassandra Clare
Enjoy reading.
How to say I love you…to the love of your life
After yesterday, Alec was nervous. No, that's not even picture how he felt in this very moment. And no, it wasn't because they won the battle on the Brocelind Plain. It's because of what he had done before it. It's because he kissed in public the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus Bane. To be all honest he did that as the heat of the moment, at first. But the more he was kissing him the more he was sure of his decision. He knew he did good. He knew that finally he had to come out of his very, very deep closet, if he didn't want to lose Magnus. And he couldn't lose him. He was the best thing that happen in his life. So obviously he finally had to do something about it. And how's better it could be, than killing two birds in one stone? Why not tell, or show, not only Magnus but his family too, who he is for real and who he likes…ok…loves. He knew he loves him the minute he saw him in an illusion that Clary made with her rune. Oh, he was so confused when he was looking on the other Magnus, where a second before Clary stood. Well he wasn't the only one with confusing face. Magnus was shocked too, for a brief moment but still. And Alec wondered who he saw then. Did he see Alec? Well he revealed to the Shadowhunter that he loves him. And when he said that words, Alec's heart raced, his knees were shaky. And he was sure that he would, or at least try to say it back, or kiss him if they wouldn't be attacked by demons.
But that was yesterday. And today supposed to be a huge party for celebration of winning. And Alec promised that he'll introduce Magnus to his parents as his boyfriend. By the Angel, sometimes Alec still felt that it's unreal. Well…he couldn't believe that someone so amazing as Magnus could love someone as him.
And now he was sitting in his room, or more in the room that he shared with Jace in the old home in Alicante, and he was about to throw up. His stomach was flipping, on a simple thought that he has to tell Magnus on what level of relationship they are. He knew that Magnus is waiting to learn how Alec feels about him.
"Alec, can I come in?" he heard the light voice of his sister.
"Come on in Izz"
The dark haired girl in a golden dress came inside the room and sat next to her brother on one of the beds. She could simply tell that something is bugging him. She knew him too well. And she had a feeling that it's connected with a certain warlock.
"Why so glum, chum?" she asked
"I'm not glum Izz" he said in a distant voice, still thinking about what he has to do
"Alec I know you. Something is wrong. I can tell you're nervous" she looked at him with her 'you better tell me mister what's this about' gaze "Tell me."
"There's nothing to tell Izzy"
"I know you better" and then something clicked in her mind "Is this about Magnus and that kiss in the Accords Hall?"
The male Shadowhunter only nodded. Isabelle lifted his chin, so now he was looking straight into her eyes.
"I'm proud of you Alec" she said "I'm proud that you kissed Magnus there. You showed who you are"
"Yeah…"
"What's going on Alec?" she drilled again
"You know…I promised to Magnus that I introduce him to mom and dad" said Alec looking down at his hands, placed on his knees
"And that's what this is about?" asked Izzy looking mildly at her brother "Alec you don't have to be scared. These are our parents. They love you no matter what. And if they say something you have me and Jace still. We always have your back, big brother"
"Thanks" he made a long pause "But this isn't what I'm nervous about" Izzy looked at him puzzled "Well…at least not the only thing"
"Then what else?"
"Magnus said that he loves me" he finally revealed.
"And you didn't say it back, right?" Alec nodded "Do you feel the same about him?"
"I guess"
"You guess? Come on Alec. Tell me how you feel about Magnus, for real"
Alexander was silent for a long period of time. How he felt about Magnus?
He made him smile, like no one else before.
He care about him like no one else before.
He thinks that Alec is beautiful and adorable.
He listens to Alec, like no one else.
He understands Alec.
He doesn't give up on him, at least he didn't.
He's there for the Shadowhunter when he needs him.
He's helping Alec.
He tells him that he's not a bad boy, and a disgrace like Alec used to think about himself.
He lightens up Alec's dark days.
He makes Alec feel butterflies in his stomach, whenever he looks at him.
He makes Alec feel shivers down his spine whenever he's around the Shadowhunter.
He makes him blush on every lovely name he calls Alec.
But most importantly he makes Alec feel happy and loved.
So how does Alec feel about Magnus?
"I like him a lot" said Alec smiling shyly. Isabelle looked at him meaningfully "Ok…I love him" he whispered the last part.
"Then tell him that" stated Isabelle
"It's not that simple Izz"
"Sure it is" Isabelle said lightly "You come up to him and say: I love you Magnus. And case closed. Then you can live happily ever after with him"
"This isn't funny Isabelle" he said firmly "I've got no idea how to tell him that"
"Try on me" he looked at his sister dumbfounded "Pretend that I'm Magnus and confess your love for him"
"This is ridiculous" said Alec, shaking his head.
"This will help. I promise. Now take a deep breath and shall we begin?" she made a short pause before she cleared her throat and spoke again "Alexander darling…is there something you want to tell me?"
"Magnus…I…" he narrowed his brows and pursed his lips. Then he heard a loud laugh "Isabelle!"
"Sorry brother" she tried to compose herself "But you make such a weird faces that I couldn't not laugh. Sorry"
"I told you that it's ridiculous. I'm not doing it again!" he crossed arms on his chest and turned around from his sister. How she could laugh at him, when he was about to collapse from all these nerves. He breathed in and out, slowly, just to calm himself. And it helped a little.
"Sorry Alec." Repeated Izzy "Well if you don't want to try this with me…than maybe with Jace?"
"Hell no! Never! I would feel more embarrassed than I already am. NO!"
"Ok…then maybe…" she looked around the room and her eyes stopped at the huge, rectangular old mirror with a golden frame. She smiled to herself at the idea she came up with. "Speak to the mirror"
"What?!"
"Speak to the mirror, so you could see yourself when you're speaking" she smiled at him. "It'll help you Alec"
"Really?"
"Yes my dear brother" then she heard the door bell and she stood up. "It's probably Simon. He wanted to hang out before the party. So…see you later Alec. And just try it out, ok? I promise it'll help"
And she stormed off.
Alec came closer to the mirror and for a few seconds looked at himself on it. How Magnus could think that he's beautiful? He isn't. Jace is beautiful, Izzy is beautiful, but him not. And yet Magnus saw him, not his pretty siblings but him.
He took few deep breaths before he spoke to the mirror
"Magnus…" then he made a pause, not knowing what to tell. Focus Alec! He said to himself. How do you feel about Magnus?
"Magnus…" he started again "When you came to my life…it's…it was like the hit of the lightening" he shook his head and muttered "No. this is too cliché. Think about something else Alec."
"Magnus…before we've met…I was living in an illusion, but you've opened my eyes…"
'This is even more stupid, than I thought' said the Shadowhunter in his mind. He took another deep breath and tried once again.
"Magnus…when I met you…it's like my world was upside down in one second" 'hmm…sounds good', thought Alec "You came into my life and it became brighter…well more glittery and colorful"
Alec smiled to himself in the mirror. It wasn't that bad, when he spoke his heart out to himself. Maybe after he'll speak all of the words he wants to tell to Magnus out loud, it'll be easier to tell that to Magnus for real. So he continued.
"You make me laugh, you make me smile…you make me feel like I'm worth guy. You make me feel like I'm important to you. You're the first guy toward whom I felt something strong. I was afraid at the beginning. I was afraid that you will hurt me. I was afraid that if I open my heart for you, you gonna step on it and laughed at me…but when you jumped after me to the East River…I knew that I meant something to you. And when we shared strength for the first time…it was like sparks fly between us" Alec made a short pause and thought about his next words "You cared about me, still care. And I care about you too."
'It's not that bad' Alec thought and started to calm his stomach down. He felt more calmer when he was speaking this out loud.
"You whirled my world Magnus. But…I wouldn't change a thing. Maybe…I would change how I acted around you when we were in public…you didn't deserve that shitty treatment that I was giving you. But this will change. I want to be with you, for real this time. I want to be able to hold your hand, to kiss you, to hug you, and not be afraid of how the rest of the world will comment this. I want to feel safe with you. I want you to feel safe with me too. I want us to be one. I want us to be together."
He smiled to himself and closed his eyes, before he spoke again.
"You're the one that I gave my heart away…and you're the one that I want to hold my heart forever"
Then was the long pause before Alec opened his eyes and said the last statement.
"I guess…what am I trying to say is that…I love you Magnus Bane…"
"I love you too"
Alexander froze at those words said by oh so familiar voice.
He heard some footsteps behind him, but he was in his place still. He didn't move an inch till the voice spoke again.
"I love you too Alexander"
Slowly the Shadowhunter turned around and approached his boyfriend. The said boyfriend was looking at him with so loving gaze and a huge smile on his lips. Magnus touched Alec's cheek and subtly caressed it. Alexander was looking straight into his beautiful gold-green cat eyes, full of passion.
"How long have you been standing there?" he asked in a small voice.
"A while" answered the warlock
"How much did you hear?"
"Enough" he placed both his hands on Shadowhunter's temple. Alec's cheeks immediately became crimson and he lowered his head. Magnus lifted his chin and kissed him on the cheek. "You don't have to feel embarrassed Alexander"
"I…I…" Alec started but the words stuck in his tongue, he chickened out. It's like his nerves came back.
"Alexander?" Magnus asked in a unsure voice "Did you mean what you have said?"
"Yes" Alec whispered looking at his feet.
"Darling look at me" the Shadowhunter slowly raised his gaze upon the warlock. Magnus was so beautiful, and Alec's heart raced again when the warlock took his hands in his own. His stomach fulfilled with butterflies again when Magnus placed Alec's hand on his own heart and the Shadowhunter could feel that it beats fast. His knees were shaky again when Magnus's lips touched his lips in a short but sweet kiss "I love you so much"
"I love you too Magnus" the warlock grinned at those words "I love you".
A/N: Did you like it?
Review if you feel like to
Lots of love
Intoxic