Hello! I'm not really sure where this idea came from, all I know is that I've got a slight block for my current story and I'm hiding behind one shots, instead of forcing myself to update 'Dandelion in The Spring'
ANYWAY...
Some Darcy and Tony funness, and mild Clint/Darcy.
Please enjoy!
...
Being friends with a science nerd has its advantages: you get to feed her Pop Tarts on demand, water her, force her to have a healthy social life, spray her with a hose when she forgets to shower, taser a hot thunder god you ran over in the desert...
Being bros with said thunder god had amazing perks. Meeting his fellow (incredibly delicious) super hero buds, not having to wait in line at Starbucks, and having a hook up for a place to stay when your apartment gets bulldozed by the latest evil douche in a leotard.
Darcy was in need of a favor and Thor was not one to leave a fair maiden in need. Sure, she could have just gone home; her mother would just love that- "How many years of college did I pay for to have you play assistant to a scientist and work at the movie theater on the weekends?"- Thanks a heap for the encouragement, mom.
How was she supposed to know that politics were boring? She had only taken poli-sci because the professor was a total babe.
Thor had assured her that the man of iron would be more than willing to accommodate her until her building was fixed.
So here she stood, with a small bag of clothes that Captain Rock-Hard-Ass-Spangly-Pants rescued from the ruble. She's pretty sure that not all of the clothes are hers, but bless his apple pie heart for trying.
"So, Darce, can I call you Darce? Great. Farrah Fawcett here says you need a place hang out for a few months." Tony asked.
"Sounds legit, pops. I can call you pops right?" She smirked.
Tony regarded for a moment before a genuine smile spread over his lips. "You're snarky, I like that. Welcome to Start tower, make yourself at home." He said sweeping his arms in a grand gesture, presenting the space to her.
Darcy took a look around at the extravagant apartment. Oh yes, this will do.
"Challenge accepted," Darcy said with a devilish smirk.
She's pretty sure a look of horror briefly passes over Tony's face before he covers it up with a mega watt smile.
Darcy will make herself very comfortable, and mess with Tony while she's at it.
...
At first, Tony thought Darcy's behavior was accidental, or a late reaction to watching your place get destroyed by a guy that was a whole bag of crazy. He'd caught her in his lab using a very powerful laser to pop popcorn, it hadn't started a fire, but she had said that's why Dum-E was there, with a fire extinguisher in his claw, waiting.
Tony chalked the incident up to her being curious, he doubted she had seen this high tech stuff before.
He even forgave her for deleting his Tyra Banks reruns on the TiVo to make room for Supernanny for her and Coulson's girl nights.
He was at his breaking point when he caught her making out with some random dude in his favorite car. He knew she was messing with him; at least that's what Pepper kept saying, for some unfortunate reason, the woman adored the little She-Devil.
He was walking to his lab a few weeks after the garage incident when he heard giggling coming from
The vents above him, he narrowed his eyes at the ceiling, but continued his journey. He was denied access to his lab when he put in the code. He was denied a second time when he tried again.
"Jarvis! Why won't the lab door open?"
"I'm sorry, Sir, but I've been asked not to let you in." Jarvis replied. The AI almost sounded amused.
Tony paused, taking a deep breath he spoke again. "Override, this is my lab, you answer to me."
"I'm sorry Sir, but your security code has been changed."
There was more giggling above him.
"Damn it, Darce, I've got some serious science-y things to do!" He said only half serious, he would never admit that he was curious as to how the little devil did it, or that he was mildly impressed. Tony huffed before turning his face to the ceiling. "What is the new code?"
"Miss Lewis requests a song for entry," Jarvis replied. Tony was not imagining the humor in his voice this time.
"On second thought, I'll visit Brucie, figure out a way around this in his lab." He said turning around.
"I'm sorry, Sir, but all doors required coded entry all require a song from you to enter."
Tony hung his head, I'm gonna kill the girl. "What's the song?" He asked quietly.
"I was told that you would know."
Tony sighed in frustration. "How in the hell am I supposed to know what song that little demon-" the exclamation of "hey!" was ignored. "wants me to sing?"
"Miss Lewis informed me that a man as narcissistic as yourself should be able to figure it out. Her words, Sir, my apologies." Jarvis said.
Tony thought for a moment before it came to him. He barked out a laugh before humming the beginning tune.
"I am iron man..." He added some air guitar and stomped his foot to the beat. "Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all? Is he alive or is he dead? Has he thoughts within his head?" At this point the person(s) occupying the vent couldn't contain their giggles. Tony was really getting into it, doing all of the solos with enthusiasm before smashing his air guitar.
When he was done the lab door clicked open, stepping through he was greeted to the sight of Clint Barton with his legs propped up on the work bench and Darcy sitting by his feet. Both looked rather smug.
"Well, if it isn't Hawk Boy and his lackluster assistant The Fabulous Mooch." He said crossing his arms and grinning at them. He was still a little hyped up, and he could appreciate a good prank, even if it were directed at himself.
"Assistant! I'm offended; do you really think Clint came up with this himself? His genius is his face, it doesn't leave room for much else."
"Whoa, wait a minute." Clint objected, pulling his legs away from Darcy.
"Relax, I said you were pretty." She consoled, patting his shoulder. Clint looked mollified, but still slightly offended.
"Alright, sweet cheeks, I'll admit that was a good one. But I am even happier to inform you that I got a call this morning, your building has just been finished. You can leave whenever you want." He said smirking at her.
Darcy walked over to Tony and stood toe to toe with him, giving him a calculating look. "Well Man of Iron, it's been nice, you're fun." she said sticking her hand out. Tony grabbed it and shook it.
"Yeah, real great. Fix Jarvis before you leave."
"Yo, J-man!" Darcy shouted to the ceiling, still maintaining eye contact with Tony.
"Yes, miss Lewis?" The AI asked.
"Let Iron Man here have his lab back. Clint, let's go." She said, brushing passed the man in front of her and leaving the lab.
Tony looked at the man still sitting at the table. Clint was looking between the open door and Tony. "You and the She-Devil? How'd that happen?" Tony asked, a smile quirking the side of his mouth.
"I honestly don't know. I was watching Nacho Libre last week and she plops on the couch next to me and asks where I'm taking her to dinner that night." Clint says slightly baffled, but obviously not bothered by Darcy's company or imposing personality.
Tony laughs for a full minute, much to the confusion of Agent Barton. "Yeah, good luck with that. She's her own brand of nuts." He said chuckling occasionally.
"Oh man, don't I know it." Clint said, a faraway look in his eye and a stupid grin on his lips.
"Yeah if you could just," Tony said, nodding to the open door behind him. "Wouldn't want to keep the missus waiting."
"Right," Clint says hurrying out of the room.
Tony sat at his chair and did some science when an idea occurred to him; Pepper was going out of town in a few days. It could get lonely in the tower with all of the Avengers wondering around. Maybe he could visit his new bestie in her newly built apartment.
Tony grinned wickedly. "Let the games begin."
...
I had so much fun writing this!
I wish Darcy were around with Tony more often in the movies, I think they'd play well together.
I'm not sure how the bossy Darcy/Clint is going to go over, but in my opinion, Clint gets told to kill people for his job, so maybe he likes to let someone else do the leading sometime. Plus I think a confused but willing Clint is adorable.
Shoot me a review and tell me what you thought, thanks!