Just a little one shot I wrote to help give me some closure of Merlin. Very angsty.
Disclaimer: Merlin and it's characters do not belong to me :(
Choices
Merlin stood over Arthur's body. Disbelief engulfed him. He couldn't be dead. It wasn't possible . They had a destiny to fulfil. They hadn't fulfilled it. He bent down and touched Arthur's skin. Yes, it was cold and growing colder by the second. Arthur's lips were slowly turning blue and eyes still opened, were empty lacking the spark that Arthur normally had. Merlin had tried all the magic he knew, but nothing brought the spark back. Finally he accepted it. Arthur was dead.
Anger filled him. He was so angry. He had never felt so betrayed. For years he had been told of his destiny. Of Arthur's destiny . Of uniting the five Kingdoms, of bringing magic back to the land. Yet here Arthur lay dead, neither the reality. Destiny be damned. All lies. He stood up and howled his pain into the sky. Thunder roared and lightening flashed across the skies. The skies opened up and rain pounded down on Merlin's face, mixing with his tears. The rain seemed to sense how Merlin was feeling and it lashed down ferociously, Merlin feeling the impact of each drop that hit him. For what felt like a long time, it was only Merlin, the rain and the angry skies. No dead Arthur or failed destinies. As the raw elements helped calm Merlin down, the thunder dimmed and the rain lightened. Merlin stood with his eyes closed feeling the rain ease, only the pounding of his heart and loud panting disturbing the painful calm that had now descended.
His anger spent, he sank down to his knees. Loneliness overwhelmed him. His best friend was dead. The best friend that he thought would never accept him but had done. All he ever wanted was to be accepted by Arthur. He had been given what he wanted but it had been taken away from him almost immediately. But hadn't that always been the case, he thought. Freya, the love of his life. His father, Lancelot and now Arthur. It seemed his destiny wasn't to help bring magic back or help Arthur to fulfill his destiny of uniting the five Kingdoms, but to be constantly toyed with by the Gods he thought bitterly.
He was now an empty hole. Where once he was filled with happiness, sadness, anger, despair he felt nothing. He didn't know if he would ever feel again, he thought. He didn't want to feel ever again. He won't ever feel again, he vowed. Freya. Lancelot. His father. Even Morgana. And now Arthur. They had all left him. All the people that had ever mattered to him were gone. And Arthur dying was the final betrayal. He had accepted losing Freya, Lancelot, Morgana to the dark side and his father in the knowledge that when his destiny was fulfilled , the sacrifices would be worth it. Now he could only look back and not just feel the pain of their loss but the utter futileness of their deaths. More regrets to the never ending list.
He caught sight of Excalibur lying next to Arthur's dead body. He picked it up and idly considered plunging it through his heart. Would it be less painful than the loneliness of wondering time awaiting Arthur's return, of watching more loved ones die? he wondered. Merlin snorted. The Fates were having a laugh if they thought he was going to wait around for another "prophecy" to come true. Arthur's death was a betrayal one time too much, he thought grimly. He was no longer going to play their games.
Reader's choice as to whether Merlin does go ahead with what he's thinking but tbh Merlin dying alongside Arthur would have been a lot more of a happier ending than the "wonder the earth" awaiting Arthur's return they crudely inserted in the end in a pathetic attempt to bring the show in line with the legends.
Yes, I'm angry and disappointed at how it ended so apologies for the mini rant :P
Anyway, reviews and feedback always appreciated.