AUAUAU AUAU AU

This story is meant to combine my love for the humans in Twilight and crossovers. If you no gusta crossovers, turn back while you still can.

I'm also not the world's greatest writer, so bear with me. There's going to be mistakes!

unbeta'd; oops i dont own twilight sorrz

CHAPTER ONE

"Open the door! Holy shit, open the fucking door!"

I manage to bang on the door soundly with my shaking fists despite the state I'm currently in. The assholes probably knew I was coming a mile a way, what with their freaky lil' otherworldly (emphasis on other) inclinations. I suck in a deep breath and start screaming and yelling with all my might. I hope it pops their dumb vampire ears.

Damn Cullens, sparkly dicks can't even open a door for a proper lady, well, okay, maybe she is a hunter but that doesn't give them the fucking right to not do this for –

The shroud of darkness that I thought I left behind at the beach grabs at my blood-soaked jacket and tosses me through the door. I hear the crunch of my bones and the snap of the wood door at the same. Everything burns and I can't see straight, the mass of hands inching closer and closer while everything is fading into a bad hazy dream of swirling colors. Just my luck. The only day I'd ever need them, and they aren't home. My lungs are giving up on me and it is getting harder and harder to breathe. This isn't how it was meant to be, I think. I could have handled this. If only I had more time, if only I was stronger, if only I had known –

if only,

The Bossman has always said to be prepared for situations that may involve more than one vampire. By themselves, they were an angry yappy Chihuahua biting your leg. In a group, they were an angry yappy Chihuahua biting your leg and oh yeah it has rabies btdubs also it peed on your clothes happy birthday! He never warned me about what would happen when one was in a weakened state, but I knew I didn't want to find out.

Not with the Cullens, at least.

"Uh…yeah, well, thanks for saving me and all, and sorry for like passing out and propelling through your door, but I got to go and stuff, you know, have to water the pumpkins, you know how much water those pumpkins need well yup – " I get up slowly for my quick exit, but Eddie-kins snaps his hands forward and pushes me back down onto the couch roughly. It's a good thing hunters heal so fast, or that would've hurt like the second coming. I turn around to give him the bitch off of a lifetime, but my mouth snaps shut. He's staring at me intently, and there's something about his gaze that unnerves me. Not that I would ever admit it to anyone.

"No need to go Bateman on me, dude," I swat his hands away angrily and glare at him. The Bossman will not be happy with me canoodling with vamps. The vampire sitting across from me clears his throat and smiles. I recognize him as the 'father' of the group. The one who works at the hospital. What a joke.

"I've never had the pleasure of meeting a hunter before," he says, his fingers tip-tapping on the table beside him.

"It's a good thing, I guess, seeing as you'd be dead if you did," I reply. I hear an array of hisses and snarls behind me, but I shrug it off. It's the truth. If you meet a hunter, you're on The List. If you're on The List, you can say good-fucking-bye to whatever you had planned out. You may as well be buried six feet beneath.

"Then it's a good thing, I suppose, that I'm already dead, Miss Stanley," He flashes me a shiny smile that leaves me grimacing. Cullens sure know how to lay it on thick. His creepy-ass smile fades and he frowns. "You lost a lot of blood, Miss Stanley."

"We hunters are hard to kill."

"Yes…" he trails off, lost in thought for a moment. It is eerily silent in the house, the only noise present my breathing and the slow thump of my heart. "But as curious as your scentless blood is, I'd like to know more about the… thing that was following you."

I flinch. "Wait a minute, bud. Hold the fuck up. This ain't no twenty-one questions so you can get your vampy noses all up in my well-kept need-to-know basis info. I'm leaving, alright? I'm too tired for this crap. All I wanted was to watch The Voice and bitch about my shitty classes and listen to Xtina tell me how it is, okay?"

Doctor Lestat looks sad and pitying for a moment before nodding slowly in consent. I want to rip off his face.

"Let Edward take you home."

"Wait, no –"

"It's late and we live very deeply in the forest. While I do not doubt your capabilities, I believe the best bet for a safe journey home would be by car." He flashes me another easy smile and nods toward Edward. A yawn escapes from my mouth, along with my will to fight off their 'generosity'. It's getting too late for this crap.

"Alright, but no funny business, got it?"

Sparkly McDoctorpants grins and motions for Edward to step forward. I notice I have a different not-covered-in-all-my-guts-and-puke jacket on but I'm too tired to complain about creepy vampires and their overall creepiness. I pull the jacket closer around me to shield me from cold of the house. Damn vampires and their refrigerator body temperature ways. Would it kill them to turn on the heater?

Edward looks as put off as I'm feeling. I'm sort of glad I'm not the only one who doesn't like this arrangement. I mumble the directions to my house and he nods and escorts me to his shiny car. One of his 'sisters' try to follow, but he gives her a sharp look and she backs off.

We are both quiet the entire drive to my house. I can feel his unvoiced questions buzz through the air, hanging heavily over my head like a cloud. He wants to know.

I will not let him.

well oops there goes my brainfarts somebody STOP ME

any suggestions? want me to clarify parts where i'm too vague? anyone you'd like to see in the story (seriously i will add just about anything this close to adding iron man just for shits and giggles)? feel free to leave me something in the review or in a PM i have no idea where i'm going with this