Author's Note: Here is another little story to traumatize anyone who loves 'Star Wars'. This is my interpretation of how the prequels should have been. I'm pretty sure my slight change would have made the prequels awesome. Mind you, I am biased. I don't own the characters, and even if I did I certainly wouldn't want to own Anakin and Padmé.

Bad News

Padmé ran towards Anakin and gave him a hug. The last mission he had been on took what seemed like an eternity. She missed her Jedi lover ever so much.

"Oh, Ani!"

"I had to see you, Padmé."

His smile faltered with an expression that made him brood more than usual.

"I had to talk to you now. It couldn't wait," Anakin said.

"What is it, Anakin?"

"You know how Master Yoda and I went on that mission together, to, you know, help train me?"

"Yes…"

Padmé was beginning to get worried. Anakin's tone of voice was actually starting to show some emotion. Something had to be wrong.

"We were apart for a long time and the only company I had was Master Yoda's…" Anakin started.

"Anakin, what's all this about?"

"I told you…that I thought about you every day, while we were apart…" Anakin said.

He continued, closing his eyes. He suddenly felt unable to meet her gaze. His cheeks turned bright red. Padme narrowed her eyes.

"That is still true, but… But I didn't wait for you." Anakin said.

Padme looked into his eyes and realized what he meant.

"You didn't what?" Padmé growled, still a little confused.

Her tone was now furious. She didn't want to know, he realized. He'd tell her anyway. She might not want to know, but she deserved to know.

"Yoda and I…we…" Anakin started.

He struggled to explain, finally breaking off. He didn't need to continue. She stood up and stared at him in shock, repulsed. She realized now what he was trying to say.

"My name, did somebody say?" Yoda spoke.

Yoda appeared, not expecting Padmé to be with his precious little Jedi lover.

"You little green BASTARD!" Padmé yelled at Yoda

"Ah told her, you have," Yoda said.

"No, not yet," said Anakin.

"Wait, the fact that you two slept together wasn't the bad news?" Said Padmé

"Well, it's more complicated than that…" Anakin said.

"More complicated? How can it possibly be more complicated? This seemed to be pretty straight forward to me –"

"I'm pregnant, Padmé," said Anakin.

Yoda walked over to Anakin and rubbed his belly with complete affection. Padmé had an expression of bloody padawan murder on her face.

"A whole litter, there should be. And his hips, mmmhmmm, child bearing they are," said Yoda.

Padmé stared in shock and had the sudden desire to vomit as Yoda continued to rub Anakin's tummy.

"You little prick, I am a hot ass senator that has to turn down offers all the time and you couldn't resist…. Whatever the hell Yoda is? And you're knocked up?" Padmé exclaimed.

Anakin started to get this look in his eye, like he was all of a sudden on a cloud dreaming of angels.

"You just don't understand, Padmé. The nights that Yoda and I trained together were magical. He taught me things about… the force. All those nights we trained and we got so sweaty. He helped my mind and body to reach new heights," said Anakin.

"Lots of tension, there was, and much training and stretching he needed," said Yoda.

Anakin put his hands on top of Yoda's and they both rubbed his tummy.

"Yoda truly is a master and has such incredible strength and vigor for someone his-" Anakin started.

"That's it, I'm out. Anakin, you are a freaking slut and I hope you never lose the baby weight," Padmé said.

There was a pregnant pause.

"By the way, if you don't lose the weight, dumping you I am," Yoda said as Padmé stormed off.

The End