Day by Day, a noughts and crosses fanfic

PLEASE READ: Soo... A one-shot about Callum and Sephy right before he is hanged in Book 1, I just finished "Noughts & Crosses" and I have a lot of feels that need to spill.. So why not do it with a song-fic?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters or the song used.

Song is: Haru Haru by Big Bang(English subtitles)! I'm sooo glad they're back (Big Bang is Korean btw)

Day By Day (Haru Haru) -Callum POV

I was weak; heck, I'm still weak. My weaknesses got me to where I am, Sephy being my first and biggest weakness. And now, as I lie in my small cell, I consider ways of changing the future and I hope for a miracle. As if.

"Yeah, finally I realise that I'm nothing without you, I was so wrong. Forgive me"

It's strange; one minute, I'm reading the newspaper while lying down on the stone hard bed and the next, I'm suffering from great heart-ache. It takes all of my willpower not to curl up in a ball and sob until my eyes are dry and my voice is hoarse. I can't believe that I'm going to be a father... Of Sephy's child. It's perfect; all I've ever wanted but in the worst circumstances.

"Like the tides, my heart is broken. Like the wind, my heart is shaking"

I love her; I love her so much that it hurts. She reminds me of the small, vulnerable teen me, I hate her for that and I hate myself because even though I was just a kid, I took care of Sephy. Unlike now. I will never be able to take care of her, or the baby. I'm a failure at being a father before it's even born...

"Like the smoke, my love faded away. It never erases like a tattoo"

As much as I try to turn my love into hate, it never works. I can't forget her, every time I close my eyes, I see her in the back of my eyelids. Every time I sleep, I dream of her. She is invading my mind and I don't care because I love it.

"I sigh deeply and the ground shakes, oh. My heart is full of dust. Say Goodbye"

I think of saying goodbyes, to my mum, for inflicting so much pain, to Leila and the rest of the Liberation Militia, because I still don't regret hurting so many Crosses, and last but not least: Persephone, I wish we were different people so we wouldn't be in this situation and I just hope that she didn't have an abortion. Sephy and this baby are the things I cherish most now and forever...

"Yeah, I thought I wouldn't be able to live even one day without you."

Jack is here. He sits on the floor beside me, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Hey, are you okay?" A simple question with so many possible answers but I choose the simplest, bravest answer, just to convince myself that it's fine.

"Yes, it's not every day that I get hanged." My dry humour makes Jack stiffen then twist his fingers uncomfortably.

"I don't want this to happen." He states with so much emotion, he's a good friend even though he's a cross.

"Me neither."

"But from what was expected, I'm getting along quite well by myself"

Jack and I play a game of cards to occupy time. If I was alone in this cell, I probably would've gone mad or tried to commit suicide but Jack tells me about the world outside. The world I will never see again.

"You don't answer anything when I cry out 'I miss you!'. I hope for a vain expectation but now it's useless"

"Ten minutes to Six." Jack glances at his watch.

"10 more minutes of cards then?" I try to lighten the mood, which is stupid and pointless. The air is dry and it feels like I'm suffocating. Nerves, I guess. There were many moments when I've come near to death and now I realise that waiting for this moment is the worst. Jack nods and I shuffle some cards,

"Why do you spend your last minutes playing cards?" Jack questions curiously.

"I could spend my last minutes dancing like a ballerina." I retort sarcastically.

"Be serious." Jack frowns at me, trying to decipher my facial expression, which was blank.

"I don't want to be serious, I want to be free and be with Sephy yet that's not happening." My voice sounds bitter and full of sadness, I feel like a rock sinking to the bottom of a sea of despair.

"What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry? Do you even see me, did you already forget me? I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can't even approach or talk to you. Alone in the night, I erase my thoughts a hundred times"

"Ever wonder why the Crosses are leaders?" I asked Jack and he gave me a meaningful look.

"I think that we thought that we were worthy to be leaders though I don't necessarily agree. Noughts are hardly ever represented in books or even in public but we are all equal, I like to think," Jack smiled with tight lips, "Some Crosses are good leaders and some noughts would be too if we gave them a chance, a chance at equality."

"Don't look back and leave. Don't find me again and just live because I have no regrets from loving you, so only take the good memories. I can bear it in some way, I can stand it in some way. You should be happy if you are like this. Day by Day it fades away"

"Is time going in slow motion?" i wonder aloud.

"No, you're just thinking too quickly and too much. I know there isn't much, but you should enjoy your last moments and I'm sorry in advance." Jack checked his watch again.

"Don't worry and... Thank you," I sombrely smile, "For everything."

"Oh girl, I cry, cry. You're my all, say goodbye."

"Go fish." I grin and Jack scowls.

"I don't think you're playing fair." Jack complained.

"But that's the thing, life isn't fair so why play by the rules?" I glance at my cards, I wasn't actually cheating so Jack was just unlucky. Actually, overall, he's lucky. He has a nice home, a nice job, a nice everything and soon I won't even have a life. How I wish to take a Cross' life... Maybe Kamal Hadley's? I have many reasons to hate him, so does Sephy's mum and Sephy herself.

"Even if we bump into each other, pretend you didn't see me and keep going. If old memories keep on being thought of, I might go look for you secretly."

"It's time." Jack gets up and looks at me sympathetically. Governor Giustini strolled in with 2 officers and sent Jack a dirty look when he saw the scattered cards and newspaper bits.

"Any... Last requests?" Giustini avoids eye contact and instead looks at my scruffy appearance. He is a cold-hearted man and it actually surprised me when he said this, I never imagined this, ever.

"Just get it over with." My voice trembles over the last couple of words.

No more words. I can't risk it.

"Always be happy with him, so I don't think of anything else. You have to get along so there is not even a small regret in me. Like the white sky and like the blue clouds. Yes, just smile like nothing is wrong"

I get handcuffed quickly and Governor Giustini walked out, Jack, the other officers and I following him. They lead me through a long empty corridor, a little light crept through the window blinds, which made me even more nostalgic.

I couldn't help but wonder, is she here?

As I pass the audience, I hear a few shouts like:

"Good Luck Callum..."

"Spit in their eye, Cal!"

"Bye, Cal..."

I try to look from face to face, recognising some. As I got closer to the scaffolding, the Noughts dispersed and Crosses stood or sat around, watching intently with angry glares.

Please God, don't let me cry. . .

Please God, don't let me die. . .

"Hope your heart is relieved after leaving me. . . Just forget me and live on!

Those tears will all dry up, yeah. . . As Day by Day passes!

If we never met each other then it would have hurt less, hmm. The promise of us staying together is now a memory, Baby! I'll Pray For You"

All too soon, I was on the scaffolding. I panicked, looking around frantically for an escape route or at least, Persephone...

My mind was bombarded with questions like: "Is she here?" and "Did she have an abortion?" Then after a second sweep through the crowd, I saw her. My Angel. . .

"I'm sorry..." Jack whispered. I frantically searched the crowd again, she moved and I lost her in a sea of Crosses.

"I have to put the hood on now." Jack said softly.

"I don't want it!" I hissed, I wanted to see Sephy until the last second.

"I'm sorry, i have to. Giustini ordered." Jack slipped the hood on and I didn't retaliate, at least now they couldn't see my tears slipping down my cheeks.

"I love you Callum. . ."

"Oh girl, I cry, cry. Your my all. Say Goodbye, bye"

"I LOVE YOU CALLUM!" Was I mistaken? It sounded like Sephy... SEPHY!

"I LOVE YOU SEPHY!" I screamed, I hope she heard me. . .

"I LOVE YOU CALLUM, AND THE BABY WILL TOO! I'm s-sorry!" She shouted and I heard it and I cherished these last few moments. Suddenly, the noose was slipped around my neck and I stiffened.

"I LOVE YOU TO-"

"Oh, my love. Don't lie, lie. Your my heart, Say Goodbye"

Soooooo much feels! I can't believe I did this! A whole freakin' song! Anyway, I'm gonna go in a corner and cry so bye bye!