I'm not crazy.
"Okay Alice, if you could just sit down here for me." My eyes travel groggily from the woman's white shoes to her dark pencil skirt, to her cherry-red blouse and white doctor's coat, clip-board in hand, and then finally to her thin lips, painted in a cracked crimson paste. Her lips always make me think of her. Red. Like the roses she loves so much. Like small rubies tumbling, falling down… down… down…
Splash.
Puddles, scarlet rivers run through the cracks and fractures in the damp cobbles stones. They separate and join at intervals in the lace-work of crevices between black stones.
Beautiful.
Shining.
Red.
"Alice."
I'm not crazy.
"Alice, answer me."
I drag my gaze up further. Black. Her eyes are always the same. Greedy black pits that want to gobble me up until none of me is left. Alice is gone and a frayed, emaciated husk remains. Where did she go? Oh where did she go… down the Rabbit hole… down… down… down…
"What was the question?"
Her disgusting lips curl back and her eyes grow deeper. Aggravated.
"How do you feel?"
Empty.
"Fine."
"And the dreams?" Hallucinations "Are they still bothering you?"
Yes
"No."
"So the medication is working then." It's a statement. She scribbles something on her clip-board. The scratching of the pen echoes in my ears, screeching. My fingers curl and I shiver. She gives me a pointed glance and writes something else.
"Alright then, Alice, time to go."
Down, down the rabbit hole.
I'm not crazy.
Smiles and laughter. My parents never minded when I was little.
Late for Tea. Imaginations are for little people.
Smash. I'm not little anymore. It said I should eat it, so I ate the cake. It made me grow and so I'm not little anymore.
They've tried, oh they have tried, but they can't take it away from me. You see, no matter what they do, I will never let go. Dreams they say… It's not a dream, it's a memory… and it makes me sick. Sicker and sicker as the days fade by. What does day look like?
Warmth.
Sun.
Light?
Hiding, hiding, down in the dark, down the rabbit hole. Down, down.
Light is useless. It only shows me what I've lost. In the dark, I can hide. I can see my wonderland. I can see it.
My legs shake and I feel the grit of dirt and dust beneath my feet as they slide over the tiles. Scrape. I can't feel much these days and the scraping of my feet is welcome.
Ah, there it is. The door looms ominous as always. It doesn't scare me anymore. Neither do the nurses that lurk behind it. They pale in comparison to Them. Tweedle tweedle tweedle dee, tweedle dee and tweedle dum, dum dee dum dum, down down the rabbit hole!
I'm not crazy.
She's looking at me again. Oopsie did I say that out loud? I laugh quietly to myself. The laughing gets louder, louder and louder and louder. I can't breathe but I can feel the ache in my stomach. Laughing. Hattie loved to laugh. Late for tea! The laughing dies and I can hear silence.
The silence is always so loud.
I can hear Them laughing with me.
Cackle cackle.
Ghostly white grin.
Purple stripes and slitted topaz eyes.
Alice…
I pick at my already-gone nails. Blood crusts along the edges. Red. Delusions die hard, they say.
Bleached tiles slide away under my feet. White. Tick-tock tick-tock… Memories are harder to kill.
Alice dear…
Shut up.
I want out. No more hurting.
Where have you been?
Down down the rabbit hole…
I want to leave. I'm strapped down. I want to leave… I hear humming.
LET ME OUT!
Black. Dark. Hiding.
Laughing. It isn't mine. Cold claws on my wrists.
Scrape.
"Alice, dear, where have you been?" Whiskers on my cheek. "Hattie's been worried sick." The straps melt away. "Alice?"
Grinning.
Laughing.
Tea.
Tick-tock tick-tock.
Late.
Whispers.
Blood.
Off with her head!
They're back…
"Hello Chesh."
I'm not crazy.
So, this is my first attempt at an Alice in Wonderland Fanfic. I hope it was bearable :P I may continue writing on from this if you guys like it but otherwise i think i'll just leave it as a solitary, one-chapter piece. Please revieeeewww! Thanks people! :D