By Russian Blue Witch (RBW)
Ash, Misty, and Brock were just hiking through the forest, unaware of what was about to happen. Heroes are often oblivious about the future, aren't they?
Ash was leading, sticking to the path, a few yards ahead of his friends and Pikachu. Suddenly, a small brown creature sprinted across the path in front of him. It paused, gazing at Ash in curiosity. It resembled a squirrel, small enough for Ash to hold in one hand, with a glowing blue circle on its forehead. Ash scanned it with his Pokédex.
"Tikikiki- a psychic Pokémon- Very little is known about Tikikikis except that they are considered highly dangerous; however they are known to fear snake Pokémon."
"Cool," Ash breathed. If he could catch it and train it, he would probably become one of the most famous Pokémon trainers ever- no, he'd already reached his six-Pokémon limit, and it would probably be a pain to take care of… But still…
The Tikikiki ruined what plans he had by running off the trail into the bushes.
"Hey! Come back here!" Ash began chasing it, leaving his poor friends to the elements- not really…
The small rodent ran into a small clearing, finally turning back to face his attacker.
"I've got you now!" Ash shouted, pulling out a spare Pokéball.
The blue circle on the Tikikiki's forehead began to glow brighter, to expand, until it shot out, creating a blue arc leading from the Tikikiki to Ash.
For a moment, all Ash could see was blue light. Then, when it faded, all he could see were his own shoes.
"Why am I staring at my shoes?" Ash wondered. Then he realized the shoes weren't on his feet- if they could be called feet anymore- paws might have been a better word…
"Help! I'm a Tiki-whatsit!" But it came out as squirrel chatter.
'Ash' laughed. "Hope you have fun! I'll be back in a soon- but don't expect to recognize me; I get around a lot!" Then Ash's body ran off without Ash.
"Hey! Wait for me body-snatcher!" But once again, all that he heard was "Tck-tikikik-tck-tck!"
'Ash' soon found the path again- with someone on it.
Pikachu eagerly ran up to what he thought was his master. "Pika! Chu!" He shouted happily.
"Oh… Nice Pikachu!" the Tikikiki said, hoping he wasn't sounding strange.
"Where've you been?" Misty asked.
"Oh, around." He bent his head. What's the Pikachu doing outside his Pokéball, he wondered.
"Well don't do that to us again. I got worried."
"For no darn good reason," he hissed, and then thought better of it.
"Look, the path splits in two. Which way do you think we should go?" Brock asked.
"Oh, um… you go ahead. I'm going back to town." The Tikikiki wondered if he'd picked a person with some cash on hand. He'd been to that town several times, though in different guises, and decided he felt like going to the Jhoto Queen, one of the fanciest and most expensive places, good for if you liked gourmet.
"Why would you want to do that?" Misty asked. "We just started this hike, and besides, you don't have any money."
Rats. He'd better find someone else.
"Okay, we'll take this path," he decided, pointing to the left. Might as well go that way as any, he thought.
Meanwhile, our not-so-heroic hero decided to disregard the strange creature's order. He charged off, in squirrel form, until he found the path again. Then he started along it until he came to the fork. It looked like all hope was lost- except for the fact that Non-Ash, Misty, and Brock had barely started to walk along the left fork.
"Hey!" Misty shouted as she caught sight of the furry creature. "I wonder what that is. I've never seen it before."
"Me neither," Brock said.
"Scan it, Ash!"
There was a pause of several seconds.
"Wait…" 'Ash' said slowly. "Am I Ash, or is he?" He pointed to Brock.
"Of course it's you!" Brock shouted, the small rodent forgotten. "Are you alright?"
"Uh, yeah, sure, I just… forgot."
"You forgot your own name?"
"Um… Hey, look! It's a fire-breathing Fearow!"
Both of them gave him funny looks.
"I mean, it's a Charizard! Yeah! A fire-breathing Charizard! Look out, whatever-your-names-are!" He ducked.
Both of them checked, just in case, and 'Ash' ran off while they were distracted.
"Hey, Ash!" Brock shouted. "Where are you going?"
"Better not follow him," Misty cautioned. "That looks like poison ivy to me."
"Tck-a-tck-a!" 'The Tikikiki' shouted.
"Oh, hey, we forgot about you!" Misty said. "You're cute for a normal-Pokémon. Or at least you look like a normal-Pokémon."
"I'm not a normal Pokémon! I'm Ash!" But it came out "Tck-it-a-tck!"
Meanwhile, deep in the forest…
Team Rocket, who had been previously ballooning around looking for their little non-friends, were trying to get the torn pieces of latex out of a tree.
"Whose bright idea was it to land in a forest anyway?" Jessie demanded.
"Yours," Meowth snarled, accidently ripping a large hunk in two.
"At least the basket's okay," Jessie said, as the large wicker basket fell into three chunks.
"Spoke to soon, huh Jess?" Meowth asked.
"My name isn't Jess!" Jessie shouted.
"I'll call you whatever I want!" Meowth shouted. "Like right now I'm going to call you a balloon-wrecker-and-bad-planner-who's-messing-up-worse-than-James-for-once-"
"Cut it out!" The red haired woman stormed off…
… And ran smack-dab into who she thought was Ash.
"Watch where you're going, you dumb lady!" 'Ash' shouted.
"I could say the same for you, you little-" Jessie stopped. Ash's hat had fallen aside, revealing a glowing blue circle on his forehead. "What's that?"
"Oh, nothing!" 'Ash' said, hastily flattening his hair and reaching for his hat.
"It is something! What is it?" She demanded.
"I said it was nothing," 'Ash' growled. "If you don't want it to remain nothing, then- here you go!"
"Huh, what-" All one-third of Team Rocket could see was blue light. "…!"
'Jessie' stood up. He'd probably gotten off lucky. Often, when he mind-swapped with girls, or when a girl Tikikiki swapped with boys, it would cause a lot of pain for both of them. Often girls fainted, and sometimes he'd be stuck trying to wake himself up. But she'd fainted just after the transaction.
Now about his money. He felt in his pockets. Nothing there.
He tugged at his- Jessie's- ears. These earrings could be worth something, he thought. Maybe he could take them to that pawn shop. He started to head off in the direction Jessie had come from.
"Are you going to help us, or are you going to sulk some more?" James asked.
"Not that there's much you can do…" Meowth added.
"You talk?" 'Jessie' cried.
"Yes… as always."
"Oh, right, I mean… you're still talking to me?"
"Um, yeah…" Meowth and James exchanged puzzled looks.
"Well, I'm going to town. See you!"
"What would you do there?" James asked. "You don't have any money, and besides, you might get arrested considering what happened yesterday."
'Jessie' bit her tongue to stop himself from asking "Refresh my memory, what happened yesterday?" because it never worked and only made everyone more suspicious. He was having unusually bad luck picking people to possess.
Then the answer hit him like a ton of bricks- or rather, an enormous piece of latex, which the Meowth had just dropped on his/her head. Of course! Meowths do Pay Day! And since it could talk…
He gave James a sideways glance. If he could just get rid of him, he could mind-swap with the Meowth, head to town, conjure up all the coins he needed…
But if the Meowth could do Pay Day, wouldn't this woman he was possessing have some money on hand?
He's probably just a selfish brat who keeps it all to himself. Of course he can do Pay Day. Every Meowth can do Pay Day. Right?
Meanwhile, Misty picked up the Tikikiki, who was really Ash. "It's real cute. Can we keep it?"
"You sound like I'm your mom," Brock said.
Ash laughed. It sounded weird coming out of a squirrel's throat.
"Well you know what I mean!" Misty said.
"Problem with that is that every time we find a new Pokémon, Team Rocket shows up to kidnap it."
"Yeah, but we always win!"
"We win with Ash."
"Oh. Well. We'll just see what happens. And Ash isn't that great. And Pikachu's still here."
"Should we try to follow Ash and ask why he's acting strange?"
"How can you follow me? I'm right here! Oh, right…" Ash sighed.
Suddenly a cream-colored piece of latex blew their way.
"Huh?" Misty said.
"This is from Team Rocket's balloon," Brock said matter-of-factly.
"Oh, so that means… hide the squirrel-thingy!" Misty shouted, stuffing him in Brock's backpack.
"Did I say you could hide it in there?"
"Come on! It's just for a second!"
"Okay… but if Team Rocket leaves and I find out that creature messed up my backpack, I'm going to chase those three down and give it to them!"
"That's mean!"
"Live with it."
"Why are you so crabby today?"
"That makes two people!" Meowth shouted, pointing at Jessie.
"Hey!" 'Jessie' shouted.
"Well, anyway…" James and Meowth looked at Jessie expectantly.
"What? Why's everyone looking at me?"
"Come on! Say the motto!" James urged.
"Um… You can say it."
"Well, okay… Prepare for trouble!" Then he looked at Jessie again. "Well? Say the next line of the poem!"
Oh, it's a poem. That narrows down the options somewhat- "Make it double!" he guessed.
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"Uh…" What rhymed with devastation? "Roses daises and carnations!"
"What?" Meowth said.
"I mean- I mean- to unite all nations!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"Something-something-something-dove!"
"Huh?"
"I don't know! I forgot!"
"Oh, well… James!"
"Who's James?"
"Me! And now say your name!"
"My name? Uh… Beatrice!"
"What?"
"Kiki!"
"Knock it off!"
Is this what the princess in Rumplestilksen felt like? How did you spell that, anyway?
"Oh, never mind. Go, Koffing!"
The poison Pokémon emerged.
"Um… Just go!"
Ekans sprawled on the ground.
All thoughts and all reason vanished from the Tikikiki's brain. The only he felt was- absolute terror!
"!" 'Jessie' ran off screaming.
James and Meowth exchanged puzzled looks. Then they started chasing 'Jessie'.
"That was weird," Misty said.
"No doubt. I feel less cranky now. Let's see about our furry friend." Brock dug through his knapsack and pulled out 'the Tikikiki' firmly clutching a chocolate bar.
"Never mind- I feel grumpy again!" Brock wrenched what little was left out of Ash's hands.
"Sorry- I was hungry!" But it came out "Tck-a- tcka-tck!"
Meanwhile, 'Jessie' continued to run into the forest, not stopping to look over his/her shoulder. He jumped a small brook and started to climb a large sycamore tree. It wasn't until then that he remembered who he was. He mentally kicked himself, over and over and over. Then he thought, since he cover was blown anyway, this would be a good time to mind-swap with that pesky Meowth. He climbed the tree with some difficulty to wait in ambush.
James reached the tree first. "Jessie?" He called out. Something weird was going on. "Jessie?" He continued to call, walking too close to a certain tree branch. "Jess-unk!"
"That's Jessie to you!" The Tikikiki cried delightedly, kicking him hard in the head. Now he finally knew the name of the girl he was possessing. Too late now though. He/she dropped from the tree to make sure he was completely knocked out.
"Jessie?" Meowth called, walking into the clearing. He gasped. "What do you think you're doing?"
"This," 'Jessie' laughed, firing a blue circle at him.
"What the- hey!" Meowth shouted, as he voice turned feminine. "What happened- wait-" He stared at himself. Then he stared at himself again as his eyes met the Tikikiki's. "You're a- you're a mind swapper, aren't you?"
"You said it, I didn't!" The vile creature laughed. Then he stopped, raised his arm experimentally, then said, "How do you do this Pay Day thing, anyway?"
"Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you."
"You mean you can't do-" Third time today he'd gotten someone with no money!
He took his anger out on Meowth in Jessie.
"Ouch!" 'Jessie' shouted. "Cut it-" He tried to run away but he didn't get very far. He stopped at the brook in fear for a second, and then remembered he could leap over it. He cleared a little more distance before 'Meowth' caught up with him.
"What's that?" Misty said. "It sounds like someone screaming."
Ash looked up from the purple flower his face was buried in. "It's just Jessie. What do we care about her?"
Brock started. "Did you just… talk?"
"I talked? I talked! Maybe these flowers tck a tck." Ash shook himself and took another whiff of the flower's scent. "These-flowers-can-help-me-talk-just-like-I'm-still-Ash-which-I-am-and-tck-a-tck-a-tck-tck-tck!"
"What about Ash?" Misty pressed.
"I'm-Ash-an-evil-Tikikiki-mind-swapped-with-me-and-"
"Whoa, Ash!" Brock shouted. "Slow down."
'Jessie' screamed again.
"Maybe we should see what's happening." Misty said. "I mean, if you're Ash, that would explain why you were acting weird. And since Jessie was acting even weirder…"
They stopped long enough to pick the special flower and then ran to see what was going on.
'Jessie' was at 'Meowth's' mercy.
"I've often beat myself up about not being able to do Pay Day," 'Jessie' mused. "But never this literally!"
"What's going on?" Brock asked.
"None of your darn-" 'Meowth' looked up and saw himself. Perfect! Now he could get out of this whole mess!
He fired the blue light.
"What the- Not again!" 'Meowth' shouted.
The Tikikiki ran off.
"No!" 'Jessie' shouted.
"Stop him!" Misty cried.
Everyone raced after it.
But don't think we've forgotten our other two heroes- I mean, villains-
James slowly regained consciousness. Where was everyone? Jessie and Meowth had been here a minute ago… Ow, his head hurt…
He walked over to the brook. He wished this was just a dream. He ran through all the possibilities in his mind…
They could have left for a moment, to do… something… the police could have shown up and arrested them… they could be here wearing invisibility cloaks… they could have spotted a rare Pokémon and ran off… they could have abandoned him…
Remembering Jessie's violent attack, that last option seemed the most likely.
He picked up a stick and began scribbling in the dirt.
"Prepare for trouble, and make it double," He recited thoughtfully, "To protect the world from devastation…"
"To unite all people within out nation!" 'Ash' Shouted from behind him.
James looked around but didn't see anyone. "To denounce the evils of truth and love?" He said, in the same way one might say "Huh? What happened? Where are you?"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!" 'Ash' ran towards James.
"Jessie?" James wondered aloud.
"James!" 'Ash' said. "But… why didn't you recognize me?"
James said nothing, but pointed to the slow brook.
"Huh?" 'Ash' said. "Why are you showing me a-" then he/she caught sight of her own reflection.
"!"
The Tikikiki raced through the forest as though an Ekans was after him. He jumped onto a rock in the middle of the brook- and saw two more people on the other side. Great, just great, he thought. Now what was he supposed to do?
'Jessie' charged ahead of the others, catching up to the furry rodent.
'Ash' gasped. "That's me!"
"No, you're me!" 'Meowth' said.
"No, you're me!" 'Jessie' said.
"This is very confusing," James said.
"Well," Misty said, "It won't have to be if someone catches that Tikikiki!"
Oh, no, now they're all after me, the Tikikiki thought. What was he going to-?
He caught a glimpse of his reflection.
He'd always known that if he- or any mind-swapper- saw his/her reflection that he/she would automatically swap back, whether he/she wanted to or not. But he'd always thought it only worked if he was not currently in his own body.
He found out he was wrong, as the blue light arced wildly through the forest, touching the forehead of everyone he'd mind-swapped with, until everything had been undone.
Ash suddenly found himself on the other side of the river, next to James. He blinked a few times to be sure he wasn't just seeing things. "What happened?" He asked.
"I think something just made it un-swap or something!" Jessie said.
"Tck tck tck-it-a!" The small squirrel-like creature said.
"He said, 'Now that you're all happy, do you mind leaving my forest?" Meowth translated. "He also said there's no such thing as un-swapping."
"Then what did he just do?" Misty asked.
"Swapped in reverse," Brock said. "It's like how you can't walk -2 miles."
"Tck-a-tck!"
"He says that if we don't clear out before he counts to three, he'll mind-swap the whole lot of us faster than you can say 'Help'." Meowth said.
"Tck! (One!)"
Everyone ran off.
The End.