TITLE: Trick or Treat (1/3)
RATING: G
CHARACTERS: Toby
SUMMARY: Piper goes out for Halloween
DISCLAIMER: The characters used from the West Wing do not belong to me; they are the property of Aaron Sorkin. They are only being used with what little imagination I have.
FOLLOWS: It's Time You Learn to Share
***One***
"How about this one?"
"No it's not pretty enough."
"It's pretty."
"But it's not special. And I want to be special."
"Piper honey you don't need a Halloween costume to be special. You're special just the way you are," CJ said smiling down at her daughter.
"Then I wants to be extra special."
"Extra special," CJ nodded her head. "I get ya," she began to browse through the hundreds of costumes that were hung up on racks.
"I thought you wanted to be Cinderella for Halloween?"
"Yeah but Natasha Andres is being Cinderella. She already brought in a picture to show everybody."
"Andres? How come that name sounds familiar?"
"Her mommy works in the White House too."
"Ahh yes, Janine. I never liked her much."
"Then you definitely wouldn't like Natasha. She's snooty."
"Hmm, she sounds like her mother." CJ picked up a Miss Piggy outfit from the rack and displayed it for Piper. "Is this special enough?"
"Yuck! I doesn't want to be saying 'Hi-ya' all night."
CJ chuckled and placed the costume back looking for more. "I found it," Piper exclaimed.
CJ walked back over to Piper and removed the item that Piper was holding from the bottom, "It's Raggedy Ann," CJ said all giddy.
"Who?"
"Raggedy Ann. Oh she was my favourite when I was a little girl."
"She's pretty," Piper replied as she stared at the picture of Raggedy Ann on the package. "I want to be her. Can I be her?"
"Of course you can sweetie. Oh I loved that doll so much. I'd still have her if my brother hadn't decapitated her. I won't even mention what they did to poor Andy."
"What does decapapated mean?"
CJ laughed, "Decapitated," she corrected. "And you're too young to know what it means."
"Well it looks like everything you need is included here. It's got the apron, bloomers, dress, socks, cap and a wig. We'll just have to buy some makeup and I think we're good to go."
"Do you think Daddy will like my costume?"
"Daddy is going to love your costume."
"Is he going to like Keegan's?"
"He's going to hate it," CJ said as she winked at her daughter.
***The White House 2 Weeks Later***
"What time do all these ankle biters start coming through?" Josh asked Donna as he entered his office.
"Stop calling them that Josh. It's not polite."
"Well what else am I supposed to call them?"
"How about children Josh? That is what they are."
"What neighbourhood did you grow up in?"
"Apparently a safer one than you did. Now where is your costume?"
Josh chuckled, "I'm not wearing a costume."
"Josh I specifically bought you a costume to wear tonight for the kids."
"Well I'm not wearing it."
"Josh you have to."
"Says who?"
"Leo. He sent a memo stating that all Staff had to dress up in costume for tonight."
"Well then it sucks to be Leo because if he thinks I'm wearing a costume then he can…."
"He can what?"
Josh looked up at the voice coming from his door. It was Leo standing before him with his arms crossed, "Continue Josh. I'd like to hear the rest of that sentence."
"Uh, uh," Josh stammered.
"That's what I thought. Now get changed."
"Leo," Josh said as he threw a folder onto his desk. "This is ridiculous. Why do we have to dress up? I don't even have kids for crying out loud."
"Or like them," Donna whispered. She caught the look that Josh threw her and quickly pretended to be fascinated by her shoes.
"Because it's what the President wants that's why."
"Is Toby dressing up?"
"Would it make you happier to learn that he too is being forced as well?" Leo asked.
Josh shrugged, "It might."
"Well he is. And so is CJ and Will and Donna."
"Yeah but they are the only morons who actually enjoy it," Josh argued.
"I'm not a moron you…moron," Donna shouted at Josh.
"So what's your costume Leo?"
"I'm going as a Musketeer," Leo admitted proudly.
Josh laughed, "A What?"
"A musketeer."
"Which one?"
"What do you mean which one? Just a plain musketeer."
"Well there are a few of them. Let me see there's Athos, Porthos, Armais."
"Whichever one was of authority…. that one. Now I suggest you hurry up and get ready. The children will be here soon."
"Fine," Josh whined. "But I'm not going to be friendly."
"When are you ever?" Leo asked as he left the room.
Donna rocked from one foot to another watching Josh, "What are you so happy about?"
"You have to wear a costume," she sang teasingly.
"Yeah well at least my costume is cool. You can't go wrong with Star Trek."
"Oh I almost forgot Josh. They were out of Star Trek costumes when I went so I had to get you something else."
"What?" Josh asked his voice rising with panic.
Donna took a few steps back, "Donna!"
"What did you do Donna?" Josh yelled out. Donna quickly left his office and ran down the hall.
"Oh my God Donna what did you do?" Josh said allowed as he left his office and entered Donna's area. There lying on the back desk was his costume wrapped sealed in a garment bag.
Josh played with his fingers for a few seconds building up the courage to take a look. He unzipped the bag and cried out, "DONNA!"
***Two***
"Have you seen CJ?"
"Not yet I haven't Toby. Aren't you getting dressed up?"
Toby glanced down at his appearance and replied, "I am dressed."
"That's your costume? What are you supposed to be?"
"I'm a law suit. See the papers stapled to my suit?"
Ginger rolled her eyes, "Figures," she replied.
"Hey, I got this idea from Denzel Washington himself," Toby yelled out to Ginger but she had already vacated the area.
Will came around the corner practically bouncing, "Hey Toby did you get that memo I sent you?"
"About what?"
"Congressmen Jaffers has moved up the date for the hearing and….."
Toby glanced at Will's outfit and started laughing, "I'm sorry," he said.
Will continued, "The date has been moved up a week and I don't even have a rough draft started and…"
Toby placed his hand on the wall that separated both his and Will's office and nearly cried laughing so hard. "What is so funny?" Will asked placing his hands on either side of his hips.
"Oh good God don't do that," Toby said through laughter.
"What's the big deal? I don't understand."
Toby wiped his eyes dry of tears, "The big deal is that I can hardly take you seriously when you are standing before wearing this big ass Sumo outfit."
Will looked at himself and blushed, "I kind of forgot I was already wearing this thing." He slapped his hips and Toby started to laugh again.
"You look like you weigh 500 pounds," he cried out.
"It feels it too. Do you know this thing actually comes with a fan?"
This only made Toby laugh even harder. Will waved him off and as he tried to walk into the doorway of his office he couldn't fit and bounced back. He tried again pushing harder and got himself jammed.
"Uh Toby?"
"Uh huh," Toby said wiping his face once more.
"I'm stuck."
Toby burst out laughing and kicked the wall a few times. CJ came by with Keegan and when she spotted Toby laughing she glanced at the reason and once she saw Will stuck in the doorway of his office she too started laughing.
"Can either of you sadistic people please help me? I've got to pee," Will cried.
***The Oval Office***
"I look stupid."
"You look fine."
"Well then I feel stupid."
"Don't test me right now Jed," Abbey told her husband as she completed zipping up his costume.
"There," she said clasping her hands. "Oh Jed you look wonderful."
"I look like an idiot," he replied back.
"Well it takes one to look like one," she retorted.
There was a knock on the door and then Charlie entered the Oval Office. "Mrs. Bartlett you look lovely."
"Why thank you Charlie. I just love your costume."
"Thanks. I was going to go as a Mac Daddy but I didn't want to spend the evening explaining to people what that was exactly."
"That's a good idea Son. Either way I think you'll be explaining that one. What the hell are you supposed to be?"
"I'm Morpheus Sir."
"What's a Morpheus?"
"He's from the Matrix."
"What's a Matrix?" Jed looked at Abbey for help and she just brushed him off.
"It's a movie Sir with Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishbourne."
"You kids and your new age movies. I tell you they don't make them like they used to anymore."
"I guess they wouldn't Sir. Not since the invention of colour."
Bartlett eyed Charlie knowing damn well he was being smart but letting it pass, only because he was Charlie. "Are the children here yet?"
"They're just coming in Sir."
"Alright. Wilma and I will be right down."
"Thank you Mr. Flintstone…I mean Mr. President."
Abbey laughed while Bartlett shook his head, "That's a brave young man," he told his wife.
"And you've made him that way," she replied taking his arm as he lead the way out of the Oval Office.
***Three***
CJ walked up closer to Will to see if she could help him. Toby rubbed his hand across his forehead fighting the urge to keep laughing at Will's predicament. He glanced at CJ and looked surprised, "Whose child is that and where is ours?"
CJ giggled, "This is ours Toby. Geez where have you been for the past ten months?"
"That's not my son."
"Yes it is," CJ answered looking down at Keegan who was asleep in her arms.
"He's pink."
"Of course he's pink. He's Piglet from Winnie the Pooh."
Toby took Keegan from CJ's arms and gave him a quick glance over, "C'mon CJ. He's a boy. Boy's don't wear pink."
"Piglet happens to be a male costume Toby."
"But it's pink."
"Well I'm sorry but pigs don't come in blue."
"Why couldn't you have gotten him a more manly costume? He's going to be ridiculed."
CJ sighed, "He's ten months old Toby. Nobody is going to make fun of him."
"Josh will," Toby was quick to respond.
"Yeah well I highly doubt Josh will be in a position to make fun of anyone. And if he makes fun of our son it will be the last thing he ever does."
CJ leaned in and kissed Keegan on his forehead. He had woken up a few seconds ago and was now just laying still in his father's arms looking around at the decorations around him.
"I think he looks cute," Will grunted from the doorway where he was still stuck.
"Shut up Konishiki," Toby snapped.
"Where is Piper?" Toby asked his wife who had begun to yank on Will.
"She's with the other kids. She doesn't want you to see her costume yet. It's a surprise."
"Let me guess, she's probably a Ninja dressed in black," Toby teased.
"You'll find out soon enough," CJ stepped back and wiped her brow. "Man you are really stuck Will."
"I know," he practically sobbed.
CJ turned to Toby and caught site of what he was wearing, "Uh you're not wearing that."
Toby looked himself over, "Why not? I think it's a good costume."
"It's pathetic that's why. Where is the costume I bought for you?"
"I don't remember where I put it," Toby lied.
"It's hanging up on the back of your door," Will chimed in.
"Don't you have to pee?" Toby snapped at him.
"Give me Keegan and get your butt in there and change," CJ ordered. When Toby tried to argue she gave him a look and pointed to his door, "NOW!"
"Halloween sucks," Toby grumbled as he passed the baby back to CJ and followed his orders.
"Hold on Will I'm going to get some more help for you."
"Yeah okay, that would be great. I'll just wait right here."
***The Bullpen***
"Donna your costume is fantastic," Margaret gasped as Donna came out of the washroom.
Donna spun around and opened her fan and pretended to fan herself, "You think so?"
"Oh yes. You look gorgeous."
"I love yours too. Josie right?"
Margaret tightened her belt and straightened her ears, "Yep. I always wanted to dress up as one of the Pussycats. This was all they had."
"I think it's great Margaret," Donna placed her hand on Margaret's shoulder and smiled.
"I hear that Josh is out for blood," Margaret said so low it sounded as if she was whispering.
Donna bit her bottom lip, "Yeah I was afraid of that. He wanted to go as a character from Star Trek."
"Oh I see. And they were all out of them I guess because they are so popular."
"Actually," Donna hesitated. "They had tons. But he's been so cranky to me lately that I thought he deserved a special costume."
Margaret watched as Donna's eyes twinkled, "Donna you are so bad."
Donna shrugged and giggled, "I know. Sometimes it's good to be me."
***Outside the Oval Office***
"Well look what we've got here," Bartlett said as Leo walked past Charlie's desk.
"Why it's our own Musketeer," Abbey said as Leo kissed her politely on the cheek.
"And I'm at your service for the night Mrs. Flintstone," Leo joked.
"Oh please, call me Wilma," Abbey giggled imitating Wilma Flintstone.
Leo looked Bartlett's way and nodded, "Is it Mr. Flintstone or just plain Fred tonight?"
"For you my old friend, Mr. Fred," Bartlett said putting his arm around Leo's shoulders. "Shall we get this started. I'd hate to have the children get upset if they don't start getting candy soon."
Wilma, Fred and the Musketeer were heading towards the Halloween Area where all the children would be waiting to begin collecting their candy when CJ called out for help.
Bartlett kissed his wife and told him to continue on without him and that he would be just a few minutes. Abbey walked off with CJ and Keegan while Jed and Leo went to help out Will.
As soon as they approached Will they began to laugh, "CJ said you were stuck but amazingly I thought she was just pulling my leg," Bartlett said to Will as he tried to grab hold of his arm.
"What the hell are you wearing?"
"I'm a Sumo wrestler Leo. I thought it was cool."
"You look like a big bean bag," Leo offered.
Just then Toby's door opened and he stepped outside. Bartlett and Leo looked up at him and started laughing. Bartlett lost his balance and fell forward pushing on Will who was finally released from the door.
He fell through the doorway into his office landing on his side with Bartlett landing directly on top of him. Leo quickly moved to help the President up who continued to laugh at Toby.
"This is rich. You've just flashed your presidential jewels and you're laughing at me?" Toby said dryly.
"Nice legs," Leo observed and then cat-whistled. "Sexxxxy," he purred.
"Bite me," Toby offered.
"I'm not getting it," Will said as he took his time checking out Toby's costume.
"It's that Squarehead fellow isn't it?" Bartlett asked.
"Squarepants," Toby corrected. "His name is Spongebob Squarepants and he's one of Piper's favourite characters."
"So where are the pants?" Leo asked.
"Why on earth would you choose that costume?" Bartlett asked Toby.
Toby looked at Bartlett like he was from another planet, "Do you seriously think this is what I would choose if given the privilege of being able to buy my own costume? CJ picked this out because, she wanted something the children could relate too and not be scared of," he explained doing a bad rendition of CJ's voice.
"Speaking of CJ, that's a cute costume she has Keegan in," Leo said snickering.
Toby raised his hand, "Don't even get me started on that one," he lead the way out to the Halloween Area and the rest of the men followed behind him.
"They sure is some purdy legs," Bartlett teased as he walked behind Toby.
***Halloween Area***
"This is fantastic," Ginger said to Donna as they entered with Margaret and Bonnie.
Donna took in the Halloween decorations that were massively strewn throughout the room, "It is quite impressive."
"I don't understand why we're all gathering here though when we've got to be in our sections to hand out candy?" Bonnie, a.k.a Jitterbug Girl asked.
"Knowing Leo it's probably an inspection," Margaret answered.
"Oh my God is that Toby?" Ginger pointed towards Toby who was walking in with Bartlett, Leo and Will behind him.
Donna put her hand over her mouth as she giggled, "CJ is so my hero."
"Hey he has tunics on like I do," Ginger pointed down to her feet. She was dressed as a female Jester.
"Oh I have to say Will looks adorable," Bonnie said.
"His expression looks as if he's got one big 'ol wedgie," Margaret said laughing.
"It should be interesting to see him try and sit down," Ginger said laughing.