AN just a quick ON filled with angst. This is a stand alone piece. Not part of the alphabet series.

"Answer the dam phone." She mumbled the words under her voice and she road the elevator back to her apartment. "Pick up. Pick up."

When she heard the beep for voice mail she cursed again. "You shouldn't have this number."

"I need you. Dam you. Call me back." She clicked the phone off and walked into her apartment. Slamming the door behind her and walking into the kitchen. She needed a drink.

She had come so close to pulling the trigger. So close to justifying murder.

It didn't matter that the world would be better off without him. That she knew he was evil. That he had done evil. That he continued to do evil everyday he wasn't stopped. Right now she had no doubt that people were suffering under his order.

None of that gave her the right. Pulling the trigger would have made her a killer.

Hadn't she watched Oliver make the same mistake. Didn't she already know what that had done to him? Hadn't she been the one to bring him back from the edge?

She pulled the bottle out of the cabinet and took a long swallow. Closing her eyes she tried to forget the smug look on his face when he realized she wasn't going to pull the trigger.

"You foolish heroes. All alike." He lay on the floor at her feet. Swiping mindlessly at the tiny trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth. "It's why I will win, why I always win." He pushed himself back up to his feet and attempted to straighten his clothes. "I will do whatever it takes. Too bad you won't."

She felt the rage take over her and her finger tightened on the trigger but she pulled the muzzle at the last minute. Letting the bullet harmlessly destroy a vase against the wall.

She stood there. He feet like lead weights. She didn't move as he walked away. He finger still on the trigger. The gun still pointed at the wall. She cursed.

It was a full ten minutes before she followed him out. Her frustration and rage making it hard to breath.

There was something wrong with a world where that evil bastard was allowed to walk free. She could only think of one person who would understand her desire to fix what fate saw fit to ignore.

He was pulling up in front of her building as the sun peaked over the horizon. He didn't remember the last 4 hours of the drive or how he had managed to not get pulled over. He had pushed the Impala to her limits. Her voice mail had made him scared. Not that he would say that out loud.

Certainly he wasn't about to admit to having been afraid.

He didn't even knock on the door. Instead pulling out his key and letting himself in. Expecting the worse he had one hand on his gun. Looking around he was calmed slightly to see all the charms and wards still in place.

He found her in her bedroom. Sprawled across her bed half undressed and he feared for the worse until he heard her snore. A sound that should have made him laugh but instead it only caused him to sigh in relief.

He slipped the gun back into his pocket and moved forward. "Chloe?" He shook her shoulder and waited for a response.

Her eyes fluttered open slowly and she tried to push herself up on the bed. "Dean." her voice cracked and he knew tears would follow. God how he hated tears. He would rather spend an hour in hell.

For her though he would suffer through.

"What happened?" He tried to add a teasing tone to his voice but he knew if she called it was serious. They weren't friends anymore. He had made sure of that. Not that he didn't want to. He had wanted so much more and that was why he had sent her away.

Okay maybe he didn't SEND her away. It wasn't like she was going to listen to anyone tell her what to do. Instead he had fought with her about everything. Belittling her contribution and doing his best to be the most insufferable prick on the planet. It took about 2 months. Longer than he would have thought but she broke. Packing up her stuff after their latest hunt and walking away.

Not before telling him he was the biggest ass on the planet. Not before kissing him. Hard and dangerous on the mouth. Not before she got under his skin. Not before she smiled at Sam and told him she was only a phone call away.

They hadn't called her though.

She had called him and that was scarier that any apocalypse. Because she was Chloe and she didn't need anyone and she was strong and smart and …. Beautiful.

He brushed a stray lock of blonde hair away from her already puffy eyes and waited.

"I almost killed him. I almost murdered Lex Luthor."

Part of him wanted to say good. He knew the bastard deserved it. Had seen the marks he had left on her with his experimentation. Knew what he was doing to anyone he deemed expendable. Knew he had a body count to rival most demons but he bit his tongue.

He understood that line. Understood what it meant to kill someone in cold blood. Knew the difference between self defense and murder.

It was the gray area that got you every time. Tempting you just a little bit further. Making it just a bit easier to go just a big further each time.

He knew that struggle.

"Can't send someone to jail for wanting to kill." He smiled down at her.

"I was so close." He lay down on the bed next to her and pulled her to his side.

"Horseshoes and hand grenades." That brought a small smile to her lips.

"It used to be so easy. So black and white. When did the world get so complicated?" He didn't have an answer for that so he just shrugged his shoulders before pulling the covers over her.

"Go back to sleep."

She started to do just that when she realized just what time it was. "Did you drive all night?"

He wanted to tell her he would have driven for days. Hell he would have flown if she needed him. But those kinds of statements implied things he wouldn't admit. Not when he was going to be leaving again. As soon as she was settled he was going to be back on the road. Just him and Sam and a never ending fight against evil.

But for now he would hold her. Comfort her with her little crisis of conscience and tomorrow he would be on his own again.

When she woke up he was gone and she could have chalked the whole thing up to a dream except she could still smell his leather jacket. She was such a fool. To call him. To tell him she needed him.

She crushed her face into the pillow and screamed out her frustration. Sitting up she threw back the covers. It was time to face reality. Time to get back to the good fight. She hadn't pulled the trigger and that meant that Evil bastard was still out there. She would find a way to bring him to justice.

Standing in her kitchen she saw a note sitting next to her coffee cup on the table.

Chloe,

Murderous thoughts do not a murderer make.

Dean

Ps nice ducky PJ's

She felt the smile stretch her lips. The darkness was spreading in her. She could feel it eating away at her soul but as long as she didn't cross the line she had hope that she was redeemable.

Reviews please!