This would be the first Naruto fic I'm posting, something I kinda whipped in order to let out some emotional crap I had going on. I'm not going to say it's my best work but nonetheless I liked how it came out and thus I'm sharing it.
A/N: Things you need to know before reading – This is a Yaoi fic, SasuNaru to be precise, if you don't like it then don't read it just to be negative about it later. If you are looking for a happy fic then this is not for you, turn around now. This is quite depressing if I'm being honest. Sexual situation between two guys and some language it's the reason why I gave it an M rating. I don't mind when grammar errors are pointed out, that's how you learn (English is not my primary language), but don't be rude. Might contain minor spoilers, I follow the manga not the anime, you have been warned.
A big thanks goes to my dearest Tina for putting up with my experiments and my many mood swings.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I profit from it. If that were the case I would be married to Itachi and living in the Bahamas. The song belongs to Kelly Clarkson, bless her vocal cords.
We were always meant to say Goodbye
Lyrics: Already Gone
By: Kelly Clarkson
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
It was raining hard, the cold water hitting the half-naked, young man furiously. It seemed the heavens always cried with him either in solidarity or to hide his tears. Tears he was never meant to shed and yet there they were. His promise to become strong, to never cry, to never love had been broken. His desire to only keep those painful memories with him to make him focus on his goals was weaker than his desire to hold on to the precious memories of his younger years. Even when he tried destroying those memories with his own two hands, they never left him.
It was useless, he knew, to hold on to such things, but how to reason with your heart when it won't even listen? The moment the memories of his first and only love sprang to his mind all common sense was ignored.
Is not like he did not try, he had tried so hard. He knew that harboring those feelings and allowing himself to form such bonds was irrational, he was never meant to form bonds, he was meant for only one thing and falling in love only hid his goal for a while. His goal always came back to gnaw at him, making him feel guilty for trying to achieve even a little of happiness.
Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die
The young man looked at his blood stained hands, he closed them tight into fists, hoping that the pain from his nails digging into his palms were enough to numb the pain he felt in his chest. He felt the body on the ground move and almost sobbed.
"Naruto," he kneeled over the blond, caressing his face and staining his beautiful features with blood.
"Sas--"
"Don't talk… you're okay." Sasuke didn't know he was crying until he saw his tears run down Naruto's cheeks.
The blond lifted a hand to wipe Sasuke's tears, "Don't cry,"
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop
Slowly everything started to move again. Sasuke could feel all the people surrounding them, all the whispering, however no one moved a muscle.
He was already badly injured so taking on all the Kages was impossible. He could try retreating in a very un-Uchiha fashion but… how to let go of Naruto. The blond had slipped into unconsciousness again, yet he held Sasuke's hand tightly.
"Uchiha," Gaara broke the silence first, pinning him with a far-from-friendly look. Sasuke turned towards the voice, "I consider myself to be one of Uzumaki's friends and I have much to thank him for, it was his will to rescue a friend in need that saved my life and so I can somewhat understand why he would go as far as he did for you." Gaara stood closer to him, his arms crossed over across his chest and his fists clenched tight, "However, I will never understand why he would put himself in this situation for someone that not only deserted his country but also left him laying on the ground close to death, very much like now. Most importantly, for someone who broke his heart."
Gaara's sand stirred wildly, "Know this, Uchiha, I would take great pleasure in killing you myself," Temari and Kankuro rushed to their brother's side and the sand calmed a bit but not completely, "But I won't because that would also kill him. I care for him too much to hurt him." Gaara's eyes soften for a moment. The Kazekage stepped back, "Take him home, and care for him even if just for tonight. At least give him that much you fucking bastard. I want you gone by tomorrow morning."
Sasuke stood up on unstable legs, he willed himself to be strong enough to carry Naruto back to the village. He walked through the same tall gates he had left from all those years back, a stupid brat who knew nothing, a willful young boy who had no idea how much he was really leaving behind.
He kept his gaze forward as he made his way through Konoha's streets. The villagers yelled several profanities, mothers turned their children away from the raven, and an old man went as far as to spit in his face. He took all that came his way without even flinching; he deserved all that and more. The only reason no one had stabbed him on the back was that they had received orders from all four Kages and because of the eight ANBU keeping an eye from the rooftops.
He entered Naruto's apartment, it was strangely tidy. Naruto, Sasuke assumed, wasn't spending much time in his apartment -- of course not, how could he if he spent almost all his waking time trying to get to the Uchiha. A new wave of guilt washed over the young man.
Sasuke turned on the shower, he let the hot water run while removing the blonde's torn clothing before ridding himself of his own ragged clothing. He got in the shower with Naruto, letting the hot water wash the encrusted blood from their bodies. "Naruto," he spoke softly, "wake up, you're home." He scrubbed Naruto skin; his injuries were already starting to heal. The reddish water swirled down the drain.
Naruto started waking up; he shivered a bit and got closer to Sasuke. The raven pulled him against his chest, "Naruto, can you hear me?"
"Sasuke?" The blonde wrapped his arms around his friend, his love. "Am I dreaming again?" He looked up, tears pooled in his beautiful blue eyes.
Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry
"We both might be dreaming." Sasuke wished he could take away some of Naruto's pain or at least give him something other that sad memories.
"I suspected as much, seems I can never quite catch up to you."
Sasuke asked whoever was listening to grant him the strength he needed, "Naruto, you should stop chasing after me."
"Why?!" he sobbed.
"Because you're hurting and it's all my fault, I don't want that."
"I'm hurting because you are a selfish bastard, because you left me, because you never returned to me!" Naruto sat on the tiled floor with his head on his hands.
"That's right Naruto, I'm a selfish bastard -- shouldn't that be reason enough for you to forget about me?"
"You don't get it, do you? I want to be selfish, too. I'm tired of living to people's expectations, of trying so hard not to fuck up just to keep people quiet, so they don't say 'That's what happens when a demon becomes a ninja'" Naruto sounded bitter, something the Uchiha never heard in Naruto's voice.
"I want you. That's all I've wanted for years, to be higher on your list of priorities. I thought that with Itachi gone maybe I would have a chance to bring you home, to heal you, to love you like I wanted… but you never returned, you wanted more power, more revenge. You kept moving farther and farther away, I just couldn't reach you."
Sasuke sat on the tile floor next to Naruto, the blond leaned his head on Sasuke's bare shoulder. It was silent, the sound of the shower the only thing breaking the silence. Their hands found each other, their fingers interlaced. Naruto placed his free hand on Sasuke's chest, "I wish I could be in here." Those words pierced Sasuke more deeply and painfully than any kunai could.
The raven placed his hand on top of Naruto's, "You already are, it beats because of you… it beats for you."
Naruto turned his face towards Sasuke; his eyes were red from all the tears. The Uchiha caressed his friend's cheek, tracing lightly the marks on his face. Without thinking he pulled the blonde's face closer to his, Naruto kept his gaze on the Uchiha's dark eyes, they looked so sad.
Their lips met, and Naruto found himself climbing on Sasuke's lap. His hands were at either side of the raven's neck while his lips kissed him softly.
Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go
Sasuke wrapped his arms around the blond; his hands ran over the muscled back pulling him closer to his body. The kiss tasted salty as tears fell down until they reached their lips.
Their passion increased every second, with every touch and every kiss. They both knew it would be their first and last time together and it made them desperate. Naruto licked the raven's neck; he ran his tongue along the clavicle and down his chest. Sasuke pulled him up, attacking his lips once more, he wanted to give this to Naruto, give him one last memory. Bittersweet as it was for both.
Sasuke bit down on Naruto's tanned neck, he knew that by morning the Kyuubi would've healed it but he still wanted to leave that reminder there. "Ahh… Sasuke…"
God, this was heaven and hell neatly folded into one. One hand ran lower down Naruto's back until it reached that hidden place. He circled the entrance causing Naruto to let out sweet whimpers. Sasuke's cock was hard and rubbing against Naruto's.
The blond threw his head back as he felt Sasuke's finger entering him, a single drop of pre-cum ran down his shaft. Sasuke kissed along Naruto's jaw, his neck, his chest; he wanted to taste as much of Naruto as possible.
The Uchiha inserted a second finger, "Mm… ha…" the blond moaned and god help him if they weren't the most beautiful sounds he'd ever heard.
"Sa-Sasuke, please… I can't take this any longer."
The blond lifted his hips enough to position himself on top of Sasuke's erection. The raven removed his fingers and aligned his cock with Naruto's entrance.
Naruto lowered himself onto his lover's cock, feeling how the blunt head pushed in and filled him little by little. Sasuke held his hips, "Naruto," he breathed out. The young jinchuuriki seated himself completely. Naruto felt complete, like the half he'd been missing was finally restored.
They moved their bodies like one, panting and moaning each other's name. Naruto moved his hips faster meeting each of Sasuke's upward thrusts. "Naruto… I'm so close now… a ha…"
"Me… ngh… me too. I love you…" he kissed Sasuke wildly, "I love you so much…"
"Oh god, Naruto… I love you, always have, always will…" he felt tears threatening to fall, "I'm sorry… I love you…"
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
The sound of wet skin against wet skin ricocheted through the bathroom. A change in angle made Naruto moan loudly, he kept dropping himself down at that same angle faster and harder every time.
Sasuke felt Naruto's thighs quiver a stream of cum covering his abdomen. Naruto's ass gripping him tightly and soon he, too, came.
Naruto's head fell forward in exhaustion and Sasuke couldn't find the strength to unwrap his arms from Naruto's body. The blonde placed feather light kisses on Sasuke's left shoulder and Sasuke swore he would feel those lips on his skin for the rest of his existence -- loving torture. The raven buried his face in Naruto's neck, kissing the tan skin while murmuring all of his apologies… all of his regrets.
Sasuke pulled his softened cock out of Naruto's body. He stood under the shower bringing Naruto up on his feet and close to him. He washed himself before washing Naruto, and the action seemed to bring another wave of sadness. It already felt like goodbye. The Uchiha turned the shower off and toweled them both dry. He carried the blond to his bed and laid him down, gently brushing a few strands of hair from his face. The raven caressed his lover, softly running his fingers along Naruto's arm until the blonde fell asleep.
Sasuke got up quietly; he grabbed one of Naruto's mesh shirts and a pair of pants from the drawer -- the only pair in a color other than orange – to wear.
Sasuke sat next to his love, he wanted to watch him until morning came. He looked at the picture on the night table next to the blonde's bed, it was Team 7. He wished he could go back to those days, he wanted to take everything back, refuse Orochimaru's offer, forget about his revenge and have the chance to live next to Naruto. He missed their bickering, but most of all he missed seeing Naruto smile.
The sun started to go up, he brushed his lips against Naruto's and the young man smiled in his sleep. He hoped Naruto would stay home now and spend his time on something else, anything other than looking for the raven.
Sasuke closed the apartment up and slipped silently out of the village like he'd done in the past.
Gaara was by the gates, Temari and Kankuro beside him, "Goodbye, Uchiha Sasuke." They never looked at each other.
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
Naruto woke up, alone. He glanced at the picture on his night table, "We were always meant to say, Goodbye…"