TITLE: Gonna Be a Daddy
RATING: T (language)
SUMMARY:
A/N: Another one with some focus on Jerry. I just personally think that Jerry and Angel get pushed aside a lot in fandom. I have some Bobby/Jack, Jack, all 4, Bobby/Evelyn, Jack/Evelyn, etc in the works right now. As of Friday, I will be away from a computer for an entire week. Although I might be able to check reviews, etc on my iPod if I get somewhere with wifi, I will not be able to upload anything for that time period.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Four Brothers or any of the film's wonderful characters.
Reviews help Jerry on his journey to parenthood ;)
"Jerry, baby, we need to talk."
Jeremiah felt his stomach heave. The four words no man ever wished to her uttered from his wife's lips. Of course this would happen today. He had already conceded that these twenty four hours were determined to make him completely miserable, physically exhausted and agonized, and uncharacteristically angry. He had tried to put all of those demons to rest when he came home but felt them bubbling to the surface when this was his wife's greeting the moment he crossed the threshold.
Work had been a nightmare for the Mercer. The seemingly never-ending rain storm refused to cease so that they were forced to work solely on the interior of the new section of the mall. They were on a strict deadline and three straight days of down pours were not helping them finish the roof. Two of his coworkers called in claiming to be ill so the foreman had shifted the weight of their tasks on to Jeremiah's already burdened shoulders. Not one hour into his shift did he manage to strain his back with a load of 2x4s. He simply grinned, grimaced, and swallowed the pain. Bills weren't going to be paid if he was resting his aching body. On a quick coffee break, Roger Nichols succeeded in spilling freshly hot liquid onto Jerry's hand without so much as an apology. During his meal break, he realized he had forgotten to pack one having been told that Camille was taking an overnight shift and would not be able to make it. Upon returning to his post, he was welcomed by the grunts and colorful, degrading language of his foreman for being behind. After a myriad of other mishaps and aggression, Jerry's car had refused to start until the fifth try and then decided it wanted to sputter its last breath one block away from his house.
Camille sighed and turned around to face her husband.
"Oh, baby, you're soaking! Are you alright? Come in and get into something dry before I lose the man I love to hypothermia."
Jerry let her lead him upstairs. She was concerned about him and recounted their love, so he was assured she at least wasn't leaving him. She also appeared to have a curiously joyful glint in her eye. She was happy. This made Jeremiah that much more perplexed. Whenever women said that they needed to a talk, it was bad news. So why was Camille glowing so much?
'Jerry," Camille cooed once her husband was changed and her arms were tenderly wrapped around his waist. "I think you should sit down."
She directed him towards the bed and he again obeyed, still bewildered. Her arms gracefully shifted from his waist to his face as she sat next to him. Jerry couldn't speak. He was too overwhelmed from his trying day and the anticipation to do so. After staring into her husband's eyes for a moment, Camille again moved her hands to now intertwine with his. She was nervous. His wife was happy and nervous and serious all at the same time. Jerry wanted to scratch his head in confusion.
"Jeremiah Mercer, I love you so much," Camille started, locking her gaze with his. "You are a wonderful son, brother, person and husband that I love so much. But – you're about to become something else. Something is going to happen and you are no longer going to be the person I love most in this world."
She paused and Jerry stiffened. Camille spoke as if she was playful, but serious, yet bubbling.
"Jerry," Camille began again slowly, "you're going to be a father."
Jerry's jaw went slack and his eyes went from furrowed slits to wide circles. His breathing hitched and he let loose a small mixture of a cough, gasp, and a laugh. In seconds, he was on his feet, picking his wife up off the bed and pulling her close to him. He kissed her lips, then her cheek, her neck, and finally, her stomach.
"I'm gonna be a daddy?" He suddenly questioned, as if making sure this was all real and not a joke or a dream.
"Yes," Camille nodded feverishly, tears of joy brimming around her already glossy eyes.
"I'm gonna be a daddy!" Jerry exclaimed, lifting his wife off the ground and laughing through his own unbridled tears.
"I'm gonna be a daddy," Jerry repeated the line for what felt like the hundredth time.
The whispered word turned over in his head as he lay in bed next to his now-expecting wife. The echoes of the couple's laughter had long since faded from the room and the hollow silence now allowed the father-to-be's mind to catch up with his heart. He longed to be a dad, wanted to have children of his own, but still not every desire was one that was meant to be purchased. His heart wrenched as old memories of similar feelings came to the surface.
"Jerry – Jerry," Camille stumbled over her boyfriends' name. "I – I'm late. I mean. I've been late for awhile"
Camille, what are you -?"
"Jerry – I'm pregnant."
Jerry went rigid. His mind reeled and raced.
"You – you're what? How?"
"You know how," Camille snapped.
"Well – you – yeah – but I mean – we –"
"Nothing is 100%, Jerry. I'm pregnant."
"No. No. No. You can't be – pregnant. We – we can't be parents. We're barely adults!"
"Don't you think I don't know that? I'm so scared, Jerry. My parents don't even – I mean –"
"No. Say it, Camille. Your parents don't like me! I ain't stupid. Damn it, we ain't ready for this."
They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity before Camille dropped her head into Jerry's welcoming arms. She wept in her boyfriend's strong embrace, a terrified and pregnant nineteen year old. They were older than a lot of their friends and classmates who had children as young as fifteen and sixteen, but they were far from ready. Jerry was finally beginning to truly clean up his act more than just for Evelyn and was in the process of attending an apprenticeship at the technical college. Camille was on her way to becoming a nurse and helping her parents as her father's heart condition worsened. Jerry was also still helping look out for Angel and Jack, just as Camille was caring for her younger sister and brother when her parents were in the hospital or clinics.
"What are we gonna do?" Camille pleaded into Jerry's now damp shirt.
It was then that Jerry spoke the one sentence he would forever regret. They agreed and went to the clinic without breathing a word of their situation or decision to anyone else. Camille was a different person for quite some time after that day. She lost a certain spark that would not reignite until she saw the results of another pregnancy test several years later. She never told her family and knew she probably never would. Jerry, on the other hand, could not hide his secrets from his family so well. Evelyn certainly did not approve of their decision as she was firmly against the act itself in any case. Still, she did not falter when Jerry finally confessed as to what was weighing on him every time he visited. As tough and stoic as the Mercer brothers were, Jerry had allowed his mother to hold him and he had wept for the child he would never now have.
It took the couple quite some time to move forward and even longer to discuss trying to have children. The entire ordeal nearly tore the pair apart, and, without Evelyn's help, probably would have. They both had come a long way since those days, but the same worries still plagued the future father. Jeremiah never met his birth parents. They only father he ever had got him addicted to all sorts of dangerous drugs as they used getting high to bond. After him, he was too drawn into his own substance-addicted, enraged, dealing lifestyle to even pay attention to his foster parents. Then came Evelyn. He finally found a mother and learned how one should be. Still, though, there was no father figure. He stood by and watched as his friends' dads used, abused and neglected their offspring. He learned of the foster father who beat Angel and only got away with it once before receiving a baseball bat to the side of the head in return. He watched as Jack slowly and painfully recovered from years of traumatizing physical, verbal and sexual mistreatment from his foster father. How was he supposed to raise a child when everyone else around him seemed to fail? How was he supposed to be a father when there had not been anyone around to show him how to even be a man?
Jerry sighed, pulling his slender fingers across the front of his face before rolling over and throwing off the covers. This was going to be a long night.
"I'm gonna be a daddy."
The phrase now rolled down Jerry's tongue and past his lips automatically. The words seemed so foreign to him, as if someone else was speaking with his voice.
He wasn't quite sure how or why he had come here, but at 2:38a.m Jeremiah Mercer walked into his mother's home. The house was dark, of course. The complete stillness seemed to harshly contrast its usual clamor. Even Jack, the insomniac, wasn't up. He whispered the phrase, preparing himself to say it to his family. He wondered what they would think when he wasn't even sure himself.
Before he had even reached the stairs, a small lamp clicked on, revealing a shadowed figure.
"I was wondering when you'd get here," a kind voice spoke in the darkness.
"Mom, you shouldn't do that! Scared me to death! And you shouldn't be up neither. It's late."
"Actually, son, it's early," she winked.
"But, how did you –?"
"Camille told me," Evelyn smiled warmly. "Don't be upset. A mother knows these things about her children, and a woman knows these things too. She stopped by earlier today to help me around the house. I could tell something was different." She paused and stood. "Congratulations, Jeremiah. I am so happy for you – the both of you. But you are also in trouble for making me a grandmother. I am not ready to be that old yet."
Jeremiah received his mother's embrace and chuckled lightly.
"What's wrong, son?"
Jerry backed up into the darkness. He never understood how she managed to do that. He had been laughing and still she knew something was plaguing his mind and heart.
"Don't you do that, Jeremiah," Evelyn scolded.
Jerry frowned. He wanted to spill out every thought and fear inside of him, but just couldn't. He knew very well she would say exactly what he needed to hear, but for some reason he just couldn't open his mouth.
"Hey, Ma, I got this one," a voice came from behind Jerry. "I think this is a man to man – or brother to brother talk."
Evelyn cast a wary glance at the figure on the stairs while Jerry just spun around in shock.
"Don't worry, Ma. Go to bed. You need sleep. If it goes terrible and Jerry starts freakin' out like the woman he is then I'll make sure to wake you."
"What the hell are you doing here, boy?" Jeremiah demanded with a roar of laughter as he embraced the man descending the stairs.
"Glad to see you too, asshole."
"Bobby," Evelyn reprimanded in a sharp but muted voice. "Jeremiah, your brother decided to pay his family an unexpected visit." There was a knowing glint in her eye as she glanced at Bobby. "And also apparently decided to spend his first night here eavesdropping."
Evelyn made her way past the boys and up the stairs.
"Goodnight, boys. I love you both. Be good."
Both sons wished their mother goodnight before turning back to each other.
"So, who or what are you running from now?" Jerry questioned expectantly.
"Eh, no big deal. I might've been involved in some sticky shit that went south."
"Cops after you?"
"Nah. They after a duce that looks like me." Bobby teased. "No worries, little brother."
"So why you come back here?" Jerry pressed.
"Man, ain't you pushy with all the damn questions. I come home and get interrogated by my brother. At least Ma was happy to see me." He paused and then shook his head. "Think she knows?"
"Oh, oh, yeah," Jerry nodded with a large grin, "she knows. You know Mom knows everything."
Bobby simply returned the head nod and chuckled before shaking his head once more.
"So," he breathed out the word with great force, "you – you gonna be a father, huh?"
"Yeah" Jerry sighed, falling back into the couch.
"I knew it."
"What?"
"I knew it, man. I knew one day you was gonna be a father. Jackie too. Angel – eh – maybe. Not likely, at least, not on purpose. Me? Uh huh. O way in hell. I don't do that parenting shit. I don't do kids. You – you though – you could."
"Whatch ya talkin' 'bout, man? I ain't no father. I can't be."
"What you mean, 'you can't be'? Bullshit, Jerry."
"Come on, man. You know how it goes. Look at the shitty ass streets we grew up in. Look at the city we live in. I wanna believe that we can make things better like Mama always says, but I don't know man. Bobby, look at the four of us and our fucked up childhoods. Can I promise that my kids won't go through that? What if I ain't a good father? What if something happens to me? We all know what it's like to grow up without a father."
"First," Bobby sighed as he sat down on the coffee table across from Jerry, "shut the hell up. Second, what the fuck you talkin' about? You are gonna be a kick ass father. You already helped take care of Angel and Jack and if you can put up with them, you can handle anything. You're always the one tryin' to keep us all straight. Even when you weren't, you always had a plan and a backup plan and all that shit. You're smart, man. You got a solid job. And you're a good guy. You ain't your old my man, or my daddy or any of those fuckers out there. You're you. You ain't gonna turn out like them. Ma and us would never let you. Third, if anything every did happy to you – which it won't – your kid will have Camille and Ma and all of us. Your kid is gonna be a Mercer, Jerry. One of us. And we protect our own. 'Cides, Ma would never let anything bad happen to you or her grandkid. Damn," he said after a slight pause. "Ma as a grandma. That is weird." He shook his head and quickly regained focus. "You hearin' me Jerry?"
"I hear ya, Bobby. I hear ya. Thanks, man."
"You're welcome, little brother. Oh, and if it turns out to be a boy I expect you to name it Bobby, ya know."
"Sure, Bobby," Jerry rolled his eyes, shuddering at the thought of having a mini-Bobby, "sure."