Setting: An AU in which Dawn and Barry work part-time in Reggie's Day Care.
Notes: I'm writing a history exam in two days and I am clearly not thinking straight.
Notes 2: Someone should keep me away from the internet.

"Hey Barry," Dawn piped up, flipping through some magazine, as he carefully balanced three cardboard boxes of pokémon food on his left hand and simultaneously attempted to unlock the door to the storeroom with his right.

"Kind of busy here."

"I don't care. Can I take the day off tomorrow?"

"So you can buy more of these to read while you're not working?" Barry scoffed. "Anyway, why are you asking me?"

"You know Reggie won't say yes at this time of the month. We have, like, twenty pokémon here right now."

Finally having succeeded in shoving the key into the lock, Barry kicked the door open and switched on the light with his elbow. "Then why are you even bothering?"

Dawn's cheeks turned a light shade of pink, but Barry couldn't see this behind his back. "I have a date tomorrow."

With a very ugly, crashing sort of noise, the cardboard boxes hit the ground.

Dawn stood up and glanced around the corner into the storeroom. Barry tried to hide his vague horror behind a mask of stoic coolness and composed dignity.

"What are you doing—"

"Y-you have date?" he shrieked. In a totally aloof and manly way.

"No need to be so shocked." Dawn glared at him. "At least one of us has an active social life."

Barry hated the entire world for always doing this to him.

Barry enjoyed Reggie's company. He was familiar, reasonable, predictable. Yes, in Reggie Barry found solace—

"Can you fill in for Dawn tomorrow afternoon? I gave her the day off."

Choking on his own spit, Barry felt the undeniable truth of his existence crashing down on him: Everybody except himself was insane. There was just no other explanation for this happening.

"WHAT."

Reggie rolled his eyes. "Look, I knew you'd react like this, but it's just this once, OK?"

Even though Barry would have liked to point out that no, nothing was OK, everything in his world was starting to break apart, he summoned the rest of his pride and managed to maintain his poise. After all, he was an adult! (Well, legally he wasn't yet, but, you know, whatever.) He was going to solve this problem like a man!

"MRS. LEXINGTON."

Johanna eyed the boy before her, bemused. "Hi Barry. How are you?"

"That is of no importance right now." Barry straightened himself for the big revelation. "I need to inform you that your daughter is having an amorous relationship with a—," he paused, for dramatic effect, "—boy."

Johanna appeared extremely underwhelmed. "I know. His name is Paul."

"But—listen to me. She's barely fourteen—"

"Actually, she turned fifteen last month."

"BUT—SHE—THIS—DATING—BAD."

Suddenly, Johanna smiled a very knowing smile. "I see," she said.

But, obviously, she did not see, otherwise she would not allow her daughter to spend time with that Paul—

Paul. Dawn was dating Paul. The greatest pokémon trainer of all time and—and Dawn were going out.

Barry buried his face in his hands and wept.