A/N: This is based after the events of episode 2x25, however in this story Emily isn't gay, but rather Spencer is. She dated Maya, and this takes place 2 months after her death. Emily is in a relationship with Toby, and Hanna and Caleb are still together.

Chapter One:

"Spence," Hanna's voice travelled up the stairs as I sat glancing outside my window. A single tear rolled down my cheek as an image of Maya flashed through my mind. Her footsteps became louder as she sat behind to me. "If you don't want to go, you don't have to. Everyone will understand." That was Hanna, always caring and always the first to support me.

"No I want to go. It's been two months; I have to move on sometime soon." I cast a glance over my shoulder and smiled, hoping that it would convince her. She wasn't fooled, but decided to drop the subject.

"I'll meet you downstairs then," she said as she placed a hand on my shoulder before standing up and walking to my door. She stopped just before was she completely out, and added almost as if it were an afterthought "I know you don't think this now, but you will be able to love again." Without waiting for a response, she headed down the stairs and out of sight.

The moment she left the room I released the breath I didn't even know I'd been holding. My chest still ached as if there were a part of me missing, and I had thought about Maya every day since they had discovered her body. My mind kept circling back to one thing: why her? God clearly had some sort of sick sense of humour. As for ever loving again, even the thought made me feel nauseous.

I shook her image from my head and plastered the fake smile on my face that had become a part of my permanent attire. A party was the last place I wanted to be tonight, but I had to pretend that I was moving on, even if every part of my being was screaming that I would never move on.

I met Hanna at the bottom of the stairs and she flashed me a smile that touched either side of her face before going serious again. "If you want to leave at any point, just say the word and I will bring you straight back here."

"Thanks," I replied. "I'll keep that in mind." And with that, I walked out into the harsh and unyielding world, dreading the next five hours.

The music was blaring when we arrived at Noel Kahn's house and the image of pre-pubescent girls running around with mini-skirts on and red cups in hand reminded me that the world wasn't waiting for me.

"Changed your mind?" Hanna's melodic voice interrupted my thoughts. I was worried that my voice would crack if I replied, so I simply shook my head and continued to gaze at the party-goers. All of them appeared carefree and happy.

"You can go find Caleb if you like; I'll catch up with you in a minute." Hanna gave me one last look before reluctantly getting out and trudging through the mass of people in search of her Romeo.

I smiled as I watched her. Her blonde hair hung past her shoulders, and her tight fitting dress clung to her body in all the right places. Her blue eyes sparkled with a kind of excited bewilderment, and despite what people thought, she was one of the most kind-hearted people you could ever meet. She was beautiful. Every girl wanted to be her, and every boy wanted to be with her.

My mind returned to thoughts of Maya, and I made the decision that it was now or never. I opened the car door and stepped out. "One foot in front of the other, that's all it is. Just one foot in front of the other. This will all be over soon". I told myself repetitively, hoping that at some point I would begin to actually believe it.

I forced myself to ignore the whispers and stares of everyone surrounding me and continued on until I was inside his house. Without giving myself a chance to think I grabbed a cup filled with an odd alcoholic concoction that I didn't even want to consider and took a sip.

"Spence?" Aria's voice came from behind me and I turned to face the girl that had come to mean so much to me. "Hey," I replied as lent forward to hug her.

She glanced around for a few seconds before asking, "did you come here by yourself?" I shook my head and pointed in the direction I had last seen Hanna heading in. "I came with Han, she's looking for Caleb at the moment."

"Ah I see," she said. "Em's here somewhere with Toby."

I nodded again; I had assumed this would be the case. We stood in awkward silence for several seconds. "So…you seen Fitz lately?" I asked in an attempt to start the conversation again. She glanced at her phone. "Oh shit!" she swore. "I'm really sorry Spence, I just realised that I should have left five minutes ago…I'm going to see him now."

"Oh. Okay. Well have fun." I said as she turned in the other direction and ran out.

I found myself alone once again – not that I minded. I took another sip of the mystery liquid in my cup and felt it burn my throat on its way down. Whoever had mixed this clearly had the aim of getting drunk – and quickly.

The mix of testosterone and alcohol was becoming overwhelming in the small confines of the house. Eager for an escape, I walked into the seemingly empty backyard, grateful for the quiet it provided.

A scream pierced through serenity and I immediately recognised it. I waited, trying to figure out the direction it had come from. My question was answered only moments later when I heard Hanna's voice echo through the darkness once again.

I sprinted through the darkness, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the lack of light. My heart jumped as I heard Hanna's terrified voice, "Get off me!"

"Hanna!" I yelled. I could faintly make out the silhouettes of two figures twenty metres ahead of me. As I got closer, the taller of the two, which I could now see was Caleb, grabbed Hanna by the wrist. "Just listen to me Hanna!" He screamed.

I arrived just in time to get a front row view as Hanna slapped him across the face. "Leave me alone!" She screamed back at him just as loudly.

He recoiled from the hit, but recovered fast and raised his hand above his head. Just as he began to bring his hand down, he registered my presence and stopped only a few centimetres from her face.

"I'm sorry Hanna," he began as he dropped his hand by his side.

"Leave. Now." My voice was cold and I took a step towards him. "If you go anywhere near her again, it will be the last thing you do." He began to laugh, but reconsidered it when he saw the look of pure hatred on my face.

Slowly he took a step back and opened his mouth to speak again. He changed his mind after a second and disappeared into the darkness.

There was a slight pause – a moment of grace, before Hanna ran into my arms and began to sob. I wrapped my arms around her, my hand stroking her hair while the stream of tears continued.

"Come on," I said, gently stepping away from her. "Let's get you home."