It was another ordinary day for Rayquaza, lord of the atmosphere. He soared through the sky above Hoenn, far out of sight to anyone on the ground. Despite this, he could observe what was going on down below fairly easily, what with his keen eyesight. Normally, he kept to himself in the Earth's ozone layer, but today he felt like checking up on how well things were going on land.
It wasn't easy being a god. In Rayquaza's opinion, life kinda sucked when you had to spend every day cooped up in the ozone layer all by yourself. There was never really any other Pokémon up there to keep him company, and he would often just sorta...hang out by himself. He missed his siblings terribly sometimes. He wondered how they were doing.
Even so, it really was a lovely day to be flying around like this. The sun was shining, the ocean was glittering, the Pokémon all seemed to be doing okay...well, except for Kyogre and Groudon, who were fighting near an isolated patch of land at the far end of the sea.
"...Wait, what?" the dragon asked, groaning and rolling his eyes before flying down to see what was going on.
Sure enough, there were his brother and sister, arguing and bickering like a couple of 100-year-olds. Rayquaza frowned in great disapproval as he descended.
"SILENCE!" he boomed, causing the two other legendaries to freeze in place. Slowly, they turned around to face him, laughing nervously in embarrassment.
"Oh...h-hey, Ray!" Kyogre stuttered, rubbing her fins together out of anxiety. She shot Groudon a stern look, and he coughed awkwardly.
"Uh, y-yeah! What's up, bro?" the land god said. Rayquaza narrowed his eyes and folded his arms.
"What are you two doing?" he asked in his best "disciplinary older sibling" voice. Kyogre and Groudon looked at each other, then back at their brother with fear in their eyes.
"Oh, nothing! We're not doing anything! We were just having a conversation, and-" they both stammered out, trying to explain. Rayquaza held up a clawed hand to stop them.
"Nice try. I saw you two fighting, you know. Kyogre, is that your raincloud?" he said, pointing up at a dark cloud that hovered above them, pouring rain and rumbling with thunder.
The whale blushed. "Well...y-yes..." she said bashfully. Groudon giggled, but stopped when Rayquaza turned to him.
"And Groudon, did you cause these cracks in the ground over here?" He gestured to the rocky earth beneath the red creature's feet, which was covered in large cracks. Shamefully, he looked down and nodded.
"Alright, then. Now, how about you explain to me, truthfully, what's going on?"
The two legendaries looked at each other yet again. For a while, there was silence, until...
"He tried to keep me from coming here because it was 'too close to land!'" Kyogre shouted, pointing an accusatory fin at Groudon.
"Oh, yeah? Well, she tried to make it rain all over me! You know I'm weak to water!" he whined.
"Maybe I wouldn't have had to do that if you didn't move in on MY territory!"
"YOUR territory?! I'm on land right now! You're the one who's intruding!"
"We're in the middle of the ocean, dumbass! That hunk of rock you're standing on can't even be classified as an island!"
"ENOUGH!" screeched Rayquaza. Immediately, the others went silent, cowering and shaking. With a sigh, the dragon rubbed his head in annoyance. "This debate is foolish. Groudon, you should know better than to get all defensive over a small rock in the middle of the ocean. Kyogre, I know he angers you, but trying to kill your brother is not the right answer."
Both legendaries sighed and hung their heads. Rayquaza put his hands under both of their chins and forced them to look at each other. "Oh, come on, don't be like that. Now, what do you say to each other?"
With a genuine look of regret in both of their eyes, they heaved out a, "I'm sorry."
Rayquaza smiled and released them. "Very good. As you know, we cannot afford to engage in such ridiculous conflicts. It is important that we maintain harmony and balance, lest the Earth fall into chaos and disarray. It is always our top priority to keep the peace. Do you understand?" Kyogre and Groudon nodded solemnly. "Good. Anyway, now that that's over with..."
Just as he was about to fly away, however, something unexpected happened. Out of nowhere, a meteor plummeted out of the sky, conking Rayquaza on the head and bouncing onto the ground behind Groudon. "OW!" cried the green serpent in frustration. "Who is responsible for this?!"
As if on cue, Deoxys climbed out of a crater in the meteor enthusiastically. "Hey, gang!" they cheered, turning their long tentacles into arms to wave with. "How's it goin'? I just dropped in from outer space, and boy, it was sure nice of you to pick me up!" They laughed, but stopped when they realized that nobody else seemed to be going along with it. "Heh...get it? 'Dropped' in? 'Pick me up?' That's...that's two jokes in one!"
Groudon and Kyogre urgently waved their hands/fins, trying to get them to stop. Unfortunately, the poor alien didn't seem to get the message, as they were faced with one angry Rayquaza.
"Oh...uh, hi, big guy! You, uh...feelin' okay? You don't look so good..." Deoxys stuttered nervously, rubbing their arm. With a mighty roar, Rayquaza blasted a very powerful Hyper Beam in their direction.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE?!" he raged, causing Kyogre to leap out of the sea and into Groudon's arms in fear. Deoxys yelped and flew away, screaming for their life.
"HOLY SHIT!" they cried. "I'M GOING, I'M GOING!" And with that, Groudon and Kyogre learned an important lesson: to never, EVER anger Rayquaza.
The people of Hoenn were gathered around near Lilycove City, looking out into the ocean. Curiously, May pushed her way through the crowd to see what everyone was looking at. Arriving at the front, she was just in time to see Deoxys take off, with Rayquaza flying away after them in anger.
"Uh...what just happened?" she asked a man standing nearby. He looked down at her with wide eyes.
"You missed it?!" he said in shock. "It was incredible! FOUR legendaries just showed up and started fighting right over there!" He pointed in the direction of the rock. "I wonder what they were arguing about!"
May narrowed her eyes and gave Rayquaza a dirty look as he soared through the sky, roaring at Deoxys. She groaned as she saw Kyogre and Groudon cowering down below.
"Who knows?" she said, clearly unamused. "They're gods. They're probably really petty."