Blood, Sweat, Tears
Aithilin
Disclaimer: I do not own Cats, and will never claim profits from any fan works.
Summary: Demeter and Bombalurina have known each other for a very long time.
Rating: Pending
A/N: For someone special to me.
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She couldn't be sure when her motivations changed. She definitely couldn't pinpoint when her definition of "protecting" the other queen had changed so drastically from kind-hearted, big sister shielding. All she knew was that this sudden, compounding set of emotions had developed somewhere along the way.
At first there had been fantasies, day dreams, of helping her friend settle somewhere safe, with a reasonably attractive tom to help care for her. Then those fantasies had come to include settling down near her. Until finally the faceless, nameless (yet still reasonably attractive and gallant) tom had vanished entirely-- metamorphosed into a very vivid depiction of herself. In her mind's eye, she had taken the place of caretaker and provider. Even lover.
It had taken ages to realize what she wanted. And even longer to admit it to herself. Of course, admitting it to herself was very different from admitting it to anyone else.
The feeling was quashed with every bit of denial, sound reasoning, and illogical fear that her psyche could manage. All too aware that cowardice ruled her heart more than passion ever could, she quelled each bought of jealousy and bitterness that rose with every unintentionally observed encounter and implied liaison. There were many, many things that, for her own peace of mind, she did not want to know about.
They had known each other since adolescence. And she had always been content to let other people keep their misconceptions about her (the passive, the weak, the protected). Out of everyone they had known, and they had met along the way, perhaps only the Rum Tum Tugger knew what Demeter had never wanted to openly admit to herself.
But then, he had known her for almost as long as she had known Bombalurina. Of course there were titbits of information he had managed to weasel out of her.