Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine, and I am making no profit from it. No matter how much the bloody Ring wants to babble in my head.
Disclaimer for Gimli fans (and dwarf fans in general): No Gimli or Dwarf-bashing was intended by the author. That was all the damn Ring's fault. The author intends to avenge the afore-mentioned parties by creating a Mary Sue as soon as this is over, who will magically appear in Rivendell before the Fellowship leaves, throw the author's Ringmuse at Elrond, and warn him to give that to Frodo, and not to ask. About anything.
Credits: this fic was inspried originally by a friend on lj (who knows who she is) even if it didn't turn out as the story I meant to write.
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Here follows the account of the stealing of the One Ring, and its valiant (yet ultimately doomed) attempts to get home.
Dear Diary,
Just when you think the world is yours, some damn Alliance comes along and ruins everything. Everything!
I mean, Sauron's disembodied, the army is dead or scattered and this punk Isildur picked me up. The nerve, after he just killed my Master! Oh, you'll get yours, just you wait, you - you - Man, you!
I must keep my perspective, however. It's not really the Men's fault, oh no. They have all sorts of interesting ideas, really... Wonderful people, once you work on them a bit. No, I know who the real culprits are here. I heard that little prick Elrond, and his 'throw it into the fires from whence it came speech'.
I hate Elves. Sauron told me all about Elves. EVERYTHING that ever went wrong for my Master stems from the damn Elves, especially this latest bit; oh I can just hear them, the stupid Elves, rallying the Men. 'No no, you have to resist the evil. Kill the evil, for it is bad and will make you do awful and unnatural things! Things involving chains and whips and... and... just eewy!'
Honestly, just because they have no kinks, doesn't mean the rest of us should be so stuffy. If they had their way, I'm sure all the races would live in libraries or be out 'communing' with Nature. Bleh. Herbal tea drinking bastards.
Soon, though. Soon I'll find someway to get my revenge on Isildur. Then they'll all pay! MW-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Damnit. Have just realized evil laughter is wasted when no-one can hear it.
Disclaimer for Gimli fans (and dwarf fans in general): No Gimli or Dwarf-bashing was intended by the author. That was all the damn Ring's fault. The author intends to avenge the afore-mentioned parties by creating a Mary Sue as soon as this is over, who will magically appear in Rivendell before the Fellowship leaves, throw the author's Ringmuse at Elrond, and warn him to give that to Frodo, and not to ask. About anything.
Credits: this fic was inspried originally by a friend on lj (who knows who she is) even if it didn't turn out as the story I meant to write.
*******************
Here follows the account of the stealing of the One Ring, and its valiant (yet ultimately doomed) attempts to get home.
Dear Diary,
Just when you think the world is yours, some damn Alliance comes along and ruins everything. Everything!
I mean, Sauron's disembodied, the army is dead or scattered and this punk Isildur picked me up. The nerve, after he just killed my Master! Oh, you'll get yours, just you wait, you - you - Man, you!
I must keep my perspective, however. It's not really the Men's fault, oh no. They have all sorts of interesting ideas, really... Wonderful people, once you work on them a bit. No, I know who the real culprits are here. I heard that little prick Elrond, and his 'throw it into the fires from whence it came speech'.
I hate Elves. Sauron told me all about Elves. EVERYTHING that ever went wrong for my Master stems from the damn Elves, especially this latest bit; oh I can just hear them, the stupid Elves, rallying the Men. 'No no, you have to resist the evil. Kill the evil, for it is bad and will make you do awful and unnatural things! Things involving chains and whips and... and... just eewy!'
Honestly, just because they have no kinks, doesn't mean the rest of us should be so stuffy. If they had their way, I'm sure all the races would live in libraries or be out 'communing' with Nature. Bleh. Herbal tea drinking bastards.
Soon, though. Soon I'll find someway to get my revenge on Isildur. Then they'll all pay! MW-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Damnit. Have just realized evil laughter is wasted when no-one can hear it.