quick notes from the author:

I've made a few changes to the story here and there. None too significant. Emily/JJ pairing. Season 6 spoilers. Maybe season 7 later.

The World is Not Enough

Garbage ( watch?v=lNcZrn5dqZw)

"Let man fear woman when she loves: then she makes any sacrifice, and everything else seems without value to her" - Friedrich Nietzsche

"And why not?"

"Please. Just don't ask."

"I want to know the answer."

"No."

"You can tell me. It's okay."

"You need to stay away."

The truth was, Emily didn't know what it was she was feeling. She couldn't tell. It eluded her, the same way the little scraps of plastic caught in the tide would if you chased them, gently pushed away by waves of ripples. The truth was, Emily could assign any semblance of logic to one belief, one nagging belief, that wouldn't leave her head. The truth was, JJ had to – no, needed to – stay away.

"Emily, I don't want to."

"Go."

"You can't make me go. I don't care about what it is you're hiding. I don't. I want to stay here with you."

"You don't know what you're saying."

"Yes, I do."

"JJ. Leave. Now."

She could see the woman in front of her begin to falter, and it was as though the entire ordeal was only another of Emily's dreams. The words left her mouth but she could hardly hear them. It had to be methodological . Surgical. The selfish part of her brain didn't want this to happen. The selfish part of her brain wanted all of this to stop. She wanted to take JJ into her arms and forget every word. But then she remembered what she was. A tumor in JJ's life. She needed to be removed.

"None of it meant anything to me."

"Stop it, Emily."

JJ's eyes began to water. Emily could see the tears filling the lower lip of her eyelid. She almost stopped. She almost called the surgery off. But then she remembered him. She remembered the kind of things he would do. She remembered how angry he could get. How angry he would be.

So she reached deep into her mind. She found the wall that kept all the emotions and the memories and the pain from her days from Interpol blocked out. She unlocked it and entered. In that moment, as she always was when breaching that wall, she found herself overwhelmed. Consumed by all the identities she had undertaken, all the lives she had lived.

There was one. Her team had been called in to profile a Japanese terrorist.

She had taken on the identity of an independent contractor. Modern day mercenary. Modern day gun. Lisa Royce was heartless. Cold. Brutal. She was the kind of woman was the kind of woman who wouldn't think twice about killing you in your sleep. A veritable psychopath. Born 17 October 1982. Lived in Los Angeles, California until age six. Was tossed around in the foster care system for twelve more years. Took her first kill when on her twentieth birthday. And if anyone asked, Lisa Royce hadn't felt the slightest shred of remorse. A veritable psychopath. Perfect for this occasion.

She had worn her skin once. She could do it again.

2 weeks before she left

The light flashed green when she swiped the card through the slot in the door. The handle turned easily and the door swung open. The two women walked in. JJ collapsed on the bed, Emily on the couch. Silence settled down throughout the unlit room. From the bed, JJ sent over a pointed look, eliciting a groan from the other woman. Emily rose to flick on the lights before falling back onto the couch.

"Sometimes I just don't understand," started Emily.

"I know what you mean."

"I always think that I've seen it all. And then we get another case passed across our desks. It's always something new, isn't it?"

"Let's talk about something other than the case."

"Okay," said Emily, drawing out the word. "What should we talk about then?"

Emily looked over at JJ and felt something warm spread through her chest. JJ looked up at the ceiling, smiling as she thought. Emily would have been content to just watch. She could have lain there all night and have been absolutely content. Absolutely.

"Oh, I know," JJ said. A glint flashed in her eyes. "You never told me what you did before the BAU."

She smiled; "Nothing special."

"Well that explains a lot."

Emily sat up to turn towards JJ; "It's all in my file. Interpol. Boring desk work. Nothing worth talking about."

"That can't be true."

"Why not?"

"It isn't interesting. Ask me something else. Anything else."

"Fine," pouted JJ, knowing the limits. She didn't stop staring up at the ceiling. Emily sighed anticipating the next words. "Before the Interpol, then? Can I know about that?"

With a sigh, Emily lifted herself from the couch. JJ felt the mattress dip beside her. JJ's eyes remained trained up at the patterned off-white and cream paint. She traced the strokes of paints with her eyes. Emily could almost see the traces of a smile beginning to break through across the media liaison's face. She almost couldn't stop the smile threatening to touch her own face as well.

"After college, I went to OCC," began Emily. JJ lifted an eyebrow. "Officer Candidate Course. I didn't tell my mother, you know. She was far from happy with me. She thought I was going to use my International Politics degree to become sort of politician. Like her. But I passed the course, so they shipped me back to Quantico for basic." Emily's voice settled, becoming trancelike as the story went on. "0204. Human intelligence. Fun stuff. And then I deployed."

"Emily. You don't have to."

"No, it's okay. Once to Kuwait. Once to Iraq, after 9/11."

"How many people know?"

"Hotch. Rossi. It's in my file. That, and the Corps isn't a large world."

"Is that why you and Rossi get along so well?"

"I guess so." Emily looked over at JJ. "You're the first one I've told though."

For the first time, JJ matched Emily's eyes; "Thank you."

"No, thank you. It's nice being able to tell someone something for a change."

They went to bed that night. The next morning, they would work the case again, just as they had the previous day. They would examine the mind of a killer. They would hunt the man down, just as they had with countless other unsubs. Only this time was different, and they knew it.

"That job at the Pentagon."

"What about it?"

"Take it. I want you out of my life."

"What do you mean?"

"I thought it was pretty clear."

There was another part of Emily that was almost proud of herself, to actually be pulling this off. To keep her voice even when it wanted to break into a thousand different pieces. To keep her face still when it wanted to twist into an expression of anguish. To keep the tears at bay when all they wanted to do was fall.

JJ kissed her again, and it was all she could do to not fall apart.

Lisa Royce. Lisa Royce. Lisa Royce.

She felt JJ's hands grasping at her skin, as though she could prevent separation by nothing more than the simple act of holding on. She stepped back, her hand resting on JJ's chest keeping her at arm's length.

"Take that Pentagon job and leave me alone, JJ. I don't want to see you again."

"You don't mean that."

Emily could see the way the pain was tearing JJ into two. She restarted the mantra in her head. Lisa Royce. Lisa Royce. Lisa Royce. She tried to make herself belief, for a moment, that JJ was some sort of accomplice to that Japanese terrorist they had put away a long time ago. But she couldn't. And Lisa Royce crumbled away, receding back into the walls.

And the only thing spurring her on became the thought of him hurting her.

"Please don't make me keep saying these things."

"Why are you saying them?" JJ asked, and the vulnerability in her voice sent a wave of nausea over Emily.

"Because I have to. Because you need to leave."

"What aren't you telling me?"

4 years before she left

She had convinced herself not to go. That it was indelibly the wrong decision to make. And so, she was, quite frankly, going to turn Garcia down, just as she had every other time she had been asked. Only this time, Garcia didn't ask. JJ asked. And before she could stop herself, she had said yes.

Instead, she promised herself that this would be the only time, that she wouldn't agree to it again. She rationalized it. Put logic to her behavior. She needed to this just this once, to keep them off her back, so as not to draw too much attention. It was to mean nothing. Nothing at all.

No, Emily Prentiss was not here to make friends.

Quite the opposite, really. Quite the opposite.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Huh?"

"I said, what are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking I could use a drink right about now."

"Oh, yeah."

Emily thought back to the first time she had met JJ. She had almost cursed her old teammate for sending her there, as though he knew exactly what would be waiting for the incoming agent. JJ tucked away a strand of hair behind her ear, looking away, presumably for Garcia. Emily felt a sudden need to fill the silence.

"Ask me a question."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Why not. Go ahead."

"If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?"

"I'd go back to Paris."

"You've been to Paris?"

"I used to live there. There was this little shop about a block away from where we lived that sold bread. Actually it was the only shop within a block. But that meant that it was the only shop I could go without an escort." Emily didn't know why she was talking, but the words wouldn't stop flowing from her mouth towards JJ; they followed the blond, pulled in like stray magnets. "I would go in the mornings, just as they were pulling the bread out of the ovens. It was the only place I could be alone. I'd like to go there again."

"It sounds wonderful."

"It was."

"Now ask me a question."

"Huh?" said Emily, for the second time.

"I got to hear something from you so now it's your turn. Come on. Ask me anything."

"Alright… What is… your favorite food?"

"That's your question?"

Emily shrugged; "Food is important."

"Cheetos."

"That's not a food."

"Of course it is."

"Is it now?" smiled Emily, arching an eyebrow.

JJ blushed before looking away.

Emily no longer felt a need to fill the silence. The discomfort always left when she had something to do, some task to fulfill. Before she had nothing. Now, she could wonder at the women sitting across from her, and all she could think about was where to buy a bag of those Cheetos.

Garcia soon walked back to their table, three beers in her hand.

"You don't really know me, JJ. You don't really know the kind of person I am."

"Of course, I do. We've worked together for years."

Emily laughed, and she could almost taste the bitterness on the sides of her tongue. Because, at the end of the day, JJ knew nothing. Right? Nothing. She didn't know about the safe in the bedroom. She didn't know about the fake passports and the different identities. She didn't know about the floorboards hiding away her stash of foreign currency. She didn't know about the go bag she kept in the wall, or that she had constructed and bred an entire identity for the sole purpose of allowing to disappear in a moment's notice if need be.

"That's not true. And maybe one day you'll find out. And then maybe you'll hate me. Maybe you'll hate me today. Either way, it's better for you if you hate me."

"Emily…"

"Don't. If you don't leave, I'll call the police. I'll file a restraining order. Believe me, I will."

JJ began to tremble. She wanted to hold her, to make the trembling stop. But she knew she had lost that right. No, she never had that right. So Emily kept her arms firmly pressed by her sides as she watched JJ continue to tremble and back away towards the door. She watched as JJ turned the door knob and left without a word.

And though she was gone, she could still feel her trembling.

The room trembled around her, and she slid to the floor as she felt her world crumble around her.

The words left her before she could stop them. She imagined JJ there, standing before her. She imagined that she hadn't left the apartment, that she had never made her leave.

"I can take it," she said. "I can take it."

more to come.