This is a one-shot I wrote for JustPlainDork on AIM, and it just amused us to no end, so I decided to put it up here. There's also a reference to our mutual friend Molly who Harry has a thing for and obsessively gives her orange juice. Amuse thyself with this!

And the usual: I own nothing, not even Christina and Molly, or the man next door.

WHAT HAPPENED IN THE HALL

Christina decided to leave the dinner in the great hall early, so she could go and read up on some potions for Snape's surprise quiz for the next day. She knew about it, because Snape had told Draco, and Draco had told Christina (who told Veri and Molly and Harry and Ron and Neville-who wasn't talking much lately). So anyhow, she walked out of the great hall and into the empty corridor, on her way to the library with her text and a notebook under one arm.

She heard, from one end of the hallway footsteps, and from behind her yards away another set of footsteps. She figured it was just Mr. Filch or Umbridge monitoring the corridors, and she thought nothing of it and continued on her way. She round a corner, and suddenly discovered that Filch was indeed NOT in front of her. She walked forward eagerly, 'Draco, I thought you were at dinner.'

Draco gaped and pointed in front of him. 'YOU BLOODY CUNTHOOK! I've had enough of you, you douchebag!' Christina gaped at him. 'I beg your pardon?'

Draco kept on pointing. Christina noticed he was not referring to her, but to something behind her.

She turned around. 'NEVILLE?" she exclaimed confused. 'Are you following me?' Neville nodded. 'Yes, I am.' Christy blinked at his creepiness while Draco tried to stare him down. At Neville's words he couldn't take it anymore. Neville was delaying him in a date with Christina and damnit, he was Thorny. Well, Draco, not Neville. Although, Neville could be kind of horny, I mean, come on, when was HIS last date?

'YOU....GET OUT OF HERE.' DRaco growled. Neville ejaculated in response, ''NO!'' He grabbed for his pants.

'Eww, Neville, that's disgusting,' Christina wrinkled her nose in...disgust!

'Aww, Come on, I'm just getting my wand surreptitiously. Geez...oh shit.' Neville realized his stupid mistake, and Draco was ready for him, wand out already. 'Erecticus Nevillus!' he shouted and shoomed his wand at Monsieur Longbottom. Sparks flew and all that magical shit, and the sparks hit Neville in the crotch and he fell back onto his bottom.

Christina gaspo'ed. And gaspoed again. "my my...."

Draco put away his wand in pride, and smiled in a way that was so cocky....funny we say cocky now, because at that moment Neville got up. IN more ways than one. HE stood on his feet, and grabbed his wand. 'Draco-us ejaculatatus." Sparks hit Draco. And he flew back.

But, just as Neville thought he had succeeded, his already existent but terribly small to the naked eye, erection began to elongate...ah yes, we have been at this phase before, and ...it was very uncomfortable.

'My my,' Christina said again. At the same time, Draco stood up to return a blow to Neville, which he did, as soon as the latter was covered with... rice pudding. Yes, rice pudding. Because Fred and George had just come running by, with a fruit cup full of rice pudding and dumped it over his head.

So here is how the story ends. Neville had to go to the hospital wing to get the swelling down, and Draco had to go as well because he could stop ejaculating and Filch had just cleaned up that exact corridor too. Christina sighed and went to the library to study for potions.

She was soon joined by Harry and Molly, but they left after five minutes to go snog.

THE END