He died...
He just died. Didn't he even think about how it would affect all of us? But no he selfishly gave up! Maybe I'm selfish to want him to stay even though he was in pain but... but I loved him... of course I wanted him to stay...
Maybe it'd have been best if I had never met him, but where would that leave me?
~~~~~Flashback 4 years ago~~~~~
"Gray? Who're you talking to?" Levy asked and stood behind her cousin as he FaceTimed someone. She looked at the screen and came face-to-face with the hottest guy she had ever seen in her 12 years of existence.
She stood there slack-jawed for a minute, staring at the cute guy before realising that her cousin was talking to her.
"What?" She mumbled coming out of her daze. Jellal snickered before replying, "Lev's meet Gajeel. Gajeel, Levy. Gajeel here is Natsu's younger Brother." "Oooh you mean Natsu ur mysterious Best Friend who I am yet to meet and who you have a totally platonic relationship with? The one who lives in America?" Levy asks feigning innocence. "Shut up Lev!" Gray muttered angrily.
Gajeel snickered before deciding to further embarrass the dark-haired teen. "Don't worry bro, I know you only have eyes for one blue-headed, starry eyed female." Gajeel said. Gray blushed and ducked his head, not denying the accusation.
"Oooooh... Who is this?" Levy asked while poking Gray's sides. Gray huffed and handed Levy the tablet. "Why don't you ask him since you both make suuuch a good team?" He said before walking out muttering something about stupid preteens.
Levy and Gajeel looked at each other before bursting out laughing. "We do make a pretty good team don't we?" Gajeel stated after their fits of laughter had somewhat ceased. "We sure do. How old are you anyways." "13. U?" "12! I'm gonna be 13 in 3 days though."
And they fell into a comfortable conversation. They spoke about everything from birthday plans to crushes. And before they knew it, 3 hours had passed. And they had exchanged phone numbers with a promise to keep in touch.
The next day they spoke as much as possible and found out all about each other by playing different games and such.
One of the things they found out about each other were their worst fears, "I'm scared of disappointing everyone and making them cry." Gajeel said when Levy asked him what his worst fear was. "Gajeel I'm sure you can't disappoint anyone! You are one of the most amazing people I've met! And if you are still worried then you never have to worry about disappointing me cause I promise to never be disappointed in you. Ok that made more sense in my head." Levy said before blushing and Gajeel bursted out laughing. "Well good to know my embarrassment brought you joy." Levy muttered, annoyed. "Thanks Lev." Gajeel said shooting her a beautiful smile causing Levy to grin back. "Anytime."
"Ok, your turn! What's your worst fear?" "Abandonment. I have always felt that I was abandoned by my Father, even though that is not true in a literal sense. I see him once a year during summer. He could see me more often but he doesn't. I've always been angry with him for it, more like angry with how worthless that makes me feel. And I really don't ever want to feel like that again. I don't think I could take it. Anyways! Next question." Levy said putting on a fake smile. Gajeel has stiffened during her mini-rant and he was now looking at her with blank expression. He mirrored her fake smile when she was done and asked her to continue.
Their conversation continued for another hour or so both of them steering away from serious subjects. And when they ended the call Levy knew that she had just found a very special Friend.
~~~~~Flashback End~~~~~
I never even knew why you froze up that day and why you feared what you did until that night 9 months later.
~~~~~Flashback 3 Years 3 months~~~~~~
Levy was woken up by the sound of her phone at around 1 in the morning. She lazily turned and looked at her phone with bleary eyes.
"GR" flashed on her screen. She picked up the phone, "Gajeel? Do you know what time it is here?" Levy said as she stretched. "I'm sorry Lev's but I really need you right now. Can I FaceTime you? Please?" Levy was up immediately, worry crawling into her. "Of course. Give me a second."
He immediately picked up when Levy FaceTimed him And she came face to face with a frantic Gajeel. "Ok Lev's this is gonna sound very weird but I need you to tell me a story. Ok? Please." Gajeel said. "What now?" Levy asked throughly confused, that was when she heard someone muttering and breathing hard in the background, it was only then that she noticed Natsu sitting next to Gajeel with his head in his hand and tears streaming down his face.
"Gajeel what's going on?" Levy asked. "Now Levy!" Gajeel half shouted and Levy immediately started telling him and a very shaken up Natsu the story of beauty and the beast, which happened to be her favourite story.
As she spoke she saw Natsu starting to calm down a bit and start to focus on her voice before going to sleep in Gajeel's arms. Gajeel sighed in relief when he saw his Brother go limp in his arms and held out his hand to tell Levy it was ok to stop.
Levy waited patiently for her answers and 5 minutes later Gajeel began to talk.
"He has panic attacks and the only thing that calms him down is a girls voice. Which is why I had to call you." He said softly. "Oh." Was all Levy said. She didn't know what to say, "Is he gonna be ok now?" She asked softly after a Long silence. "He will be." Gajeel said just as softly. "And you?" She asked again. Gajeel looked up at her a little confused. "What about me?" "Will you be ok?" "I will have to be." Gajeel said gruffly and coldly. "I've gotta go. Thank you Levy." He said before cutting the call.
Levy waited for him to call her the next day not wanting to disturb him. But he never called. She waited the next day and the day after that but he still hadn't called. A week later she had had enough. They had grown quite close over the past 9 months and she wasn't about to let him throw it away.
She called him completely agitated ready to kick his ass but all her fire was put out when she picked up the phone and heard his shaky voice.
"Hi..." He said before taking a deep breath. "Hi my butt, what's wrong?" she asked vehemently. "Nothing, nothing. What could ever be wrong with me?" "Cut the crap and tell me!" "And why should I tell you? I've only known you for 9 months!" Gajeel asked angrily. "Cause I care for you you big oaf!" Levy replied just as angry. Gajeel took in another deep breath before letting it go in defeat. "I don't want you to run away from me Lev. Why do you think I've been keeping my distance?" Gajeel said sounding so broken that it physically hurt Levy. "I promise I won't ever leave you, even if you want me to! I care about you too much to walk away now." Levy said softly.
"I'm dying Lev." Gajeel said and to Levy it felt like her heart stopped for a second. "What?" "I was born with a blood disorder and the Doctors say that I could die any day. But I don't wanna Lev. I wanna live! I love living! I wanna see the world! I wanna see you face to face! It's not fair!" Gajeel screamed and that was when Levy realised the severity of the situation and one by one the tears started rolling. "I won't leave you Gajeel. I wish I could but I love you too much! And ya know what! I believe in you! You can kick this diseases ass you hear me! I won't let you leave me!" Levy shouted out not even registering half the things leaving her mouth. Gajeel snickered, "Well then you better hold me close." Gajeel said cheekily probably expecting Levy to blush but Levy surprised him with her answer. "I promise I will. I'll never let you go." She said tears still rolling down her face.
"You're something else ya know? You are the most unpredictable human I have ever met. And I love it." He said softly before chuckling. "Thank you Lev. I gotta go, but I'll call you later." Levy let out a 'hm' and cut the line too emotional to say anything and collapsed on her bed weeping, deep down she knew she couldn't keep him with her and that killed her and then she realised something. She was in love with Gajeel.
~~~~~Flashback End~~~~~
We had so many good times after that. Do you remember all the crazy dares, like the one where you said that if I ever go to a dinosaur zoo you'd dye your heart bright pink. Well jokes on you cause I did go to one in Singapore. (It was a dinosaur exhibit in the zoo but it still counts!)
But after that was my first heart break. You dated what's-her-face, Minetve? Minserva something like that. (Ok I do remember her name and she was a sweet girl but still!)
Oh and do you remember our Friday movie dates? Let me let you in on a little secret, I don't love Barbie. Yup it was all for you. Suffer!
You were there for me through everything. And then you weren't.
I still remember the last real conversation we had. It was on Valentine's Day, one day before my birthday. We spoke for hours. You sounded a bit weak that day and when I asked you just brushed it away saying that you were just tired. But you weren't were you? You were lying through your teeth!
~~~~~Flashback 1 year ago, Valentine's Day~~~~~
"Happy Valentine's Day!" Came Gajeel's excites voice as Levy picked up the phone. Levy laughed and wished him back.
She then watched as he did a double take. She had actually dressed up that day. Instead of her usual sweats and greasy bun, she had on a pair of skinny jeans with a crop top and slightly damp but styled hair with a little eyeliner and chapstick.
"Wow." Gajeel breathed out as he took her in. "Who's the lucky guy who managed to get ur lazy ass this dressed up." Gajeel joked. "I'll give you a hint his initials are G and R" Levy said flirtily before looking behind him and seeing his *ugh* Girlfriend. She sent her a friendly wave which she returned before walking out of the room. She then looked at Gajeel again and noticed a faint blush on his face causing Levy to grin.
"Shut up!" Gajeel said and pouted, Levy desperately wanted to kiss him at that moment. But she knew she couldn't, she had a Boyfriend of her own after all. Well she says Boyfriend but means distraction. "So how's Minerva?" Levy asked as cheerfully as possible. "She's fine! How's Jet?" "Fine... anyways! What's new with you?" "Oh my Gosh! You are not gonna believe it! Natsu managed to light the whole kitchen on fire..."
And they just spoke about nothing and everything for the next 4 hours before realising the time.
"You know what would be the best birthday present?" Levy said when they were nearing the end of the conversation, "What?" Gajeel asked, "It would be to meet you, face to face. Yup that is pretty much all I want." Levy said looking at Gajeel with a million dollar smile. She watched a bit worried as she saw Gajeel's eyes become a bit damp. Gajeel just blinked and rubbed his eyes muttering dust before smiling and saying goodbye.
Little did she know that that one wish of hers would never come true.
The next day when Gajeel called she was with her friends and so their call was brief. She would have prolonged it as much as possible if she knew that would be the last time she heard his beautiful voice or see his gorgeous face. But she didn't know and so, cut the line after 15 minutes.
~~~~~Flashback End~~~~~
YOU BASTARD! You knew! YOU FUCKING KNEW!
You knew you were gonna die soon and you didn't think it important to tell me! Why would you do that to me? Why wouldn't you tell me?
Do you know how I found out about your death? A phone call, at 3 in the morning, on the day of a social studies exam!
Why didn't you tell me?! I would've spent more time with you! I could've spent more time with you...
But no instead of telling me! You...you left me a letter! A fucking letter!
~~~~~Flashback 1 year ago~~~~~
Levy didn't cry when she found out. More like she couldn't. She was too shocked she just said a shaky thank you to Natsu before cutting the line. She spent the rest of the morning deleting every picture, every memory she could from her phone. She didn't Want to remember him anymore. She didn't want to feel the pain and so tried to delete him but it was useless her usual walls weren't up she had left herself completely bare to the Attack and now she didn't know what to do.
She went to school and wrote the exam and did everything normally and tried to block him out. This continued for a week and 4 days. Till she received a mail from Natsu, in it was a word document.
It read,
Dear Levy,
Well firstly I'm so sorry for leaving. I know you must be very upset but I need to ask you for a favour. Please cry. I know you. And I know you will shove ur emotions down and not do anything about them. It's not healthy.
Second, I know this may hurt you but... I love you Levy. Like love you love you. Now I know you're wondering why I never asked you out. Well distance and the fact that I'm dying are the top two. Btw I know that you love me too(you really shouldn't ask Natsu to keep a secret).
Third, I'm gonna miss you. And I'll always wait for you! No matter how long. I leave you as a 15 year old and I'll see you when you're atleast 85 and nothing less Is that understood?
I love you Levy and, shit! I'm so sorry I'm leaving you! I know how badly this is gonna affect you and I'm scared to see that. Please take care of your self.
Good bye my better half.
I'll catch ya later.
Love,
GR
The letter opened the flood gates. The letter made Levy realise that he truly was gone and he'd never come back. She weeped and weeped until she couldn't anymore and then weeped some more. It just wasn't fair...
~~~~~Flashback End~~~~~
Why can't I hate you for hurting me like this?! Why can't I get over you?! Why do I still love you?!
I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to leave everything behind and come join you. You broke me Gajeel.
You left a giant hole in my heart that no one can ever fill. And for a whole year I have walked around with that hole slowly eating away at me! I'm a husk of the person I used to be! I can't do this without you anymore! I don't want to! Please come back! And if you can't, take me with you.
I miss you Gajeel. I love you so much and I miss you so much!
I am trying so hard here! But... but I can't do it anymore! I can't live without you anymore! I don't want to!
I need you. Please help me come back Gajeel...