My God, I love Gintama so much! This is an idea I had while watching the 'live action' openings in Gintama, which I found so funny I spat water all over my bed :D

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GINTAMA...YET. BUT I SHALL MARRY GORACHI, I MEAN SORACHI-SENSEI SOMEDAY!

Spare a Thought For Four-Eyes When Wearing 3-D Glasses!

Camera cuts to a shot of 'live-action' Gin-san and Kagura

Gin-san: Ah konbanwa everyone! Welcome to Gintama Live-action in 3-D! Wow!

Shinpachi: Wow nothing you ass! It's still as 2-D as ever! Who the hell are you trying to kid?! Actually, who the hell are you talking to in the first place? This isn't a freaking chat-show. This isn't Hey! Hey! Hey! you know! Can't we go an episode without destroying the fourth wall?! And why say konbanwa? It's morning here as we speak. The sun only just came up! So why Good Evening?! Stop trying to make everything difficult! God damn it, I'm already sick of this!

Gin-san: Patsuan, calm down. Gintama is international! Hello viewers in Kafbujkiupp27! I hope you enjoy our 3D special today!

Shinpachi: What the hell! That place obviously doesn't exist. 27? Which country in this universe would end with 27?! If you're going to make up a country at least make it freaking believable! It's like you aren't even trying! And I already said that this thing isn't in 3D!

Gin-san: Oh ho ho! Shinpachi-kun of course this doesn't look 3D from OUR perspective. You see, even if my joystick appears in its 2D form over here it will emerge as a 3D Behemoth on their end. Observe! Zipppp!

Shinpachi: Don't you 'Oh ho ho' me! Behemoth my ass! Your joystick is nothing but a level 1 monster! Even a squire can cut it down! And 'zipppp' my ass! You just said the word and didn't do anything!

Kagura: Zippppp!

Shinpachi: Oi don't you start Kagura-chan! Besides, you wouldn't be able to summon a Behemoth even if you did unzip!

Gin-san: Tsk tsk. How vulgar of you Patsuan. She's just an innocent child.

Shinpachi: ARGHHH! SHUT UP YOU DEVIL HAIRED BASTARD! DON'T MAKE ME OUT TO BE A SICKO! Ah…I'm already tired of this 'Live-action' I don't even get an appearance. I'm just a faceless voice. Now I know how Daisuke-san feels…

Kagura: What the hell are you talking about Shinpachi?! You are here!

Shinpachi: Kagura-chan…

Gin-san: Kagura's right Shinpachi. You're an important member of the Yorozuya, no way we would leave you out!

Shinpachi: You can try and butter me up all you like but at the end of the day I know it's just going to be a pair of glasses like usual…

The television screen slowly scrolls upward from the grass to show a pair of Shinpachi-like feet, and then Shinpachi-like legs.

Shinpachi: EH?! I'm actually getting an appearance after all?! This is great!

The television screen scrolls up a little more and reveals that the legs end just below where the joystick would be in a flat surface. A pair of glasses stand on top of the Shinpachi leg-stand.

Shinpachi: WHAAAAAT?! I FREAKING KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU THINK I AM?! GLASSES ON LEGS?! AND COULDN'T YOU HAVE AT LEAST LEFT IN THE MOST IMPORTANT PART! ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT I'M JUNKLESS TOO?! SCREW THIS, I'M LEAVING!

The screen now shows an empty pair of legs. The spectacles have left.

Shinpachi: So the legs were pointless to begin with?! What the hell was the point in even including them in the first place you stupid idiotsssss?! As usual you bastards are just saying I'm glasses!

Gin-san: Everyone. Please forgive Shinpachi-kun. He's just very excited about being shown in 3D! Now we invite you to please enjoy this series…

Shinpachi: The hell I am! How many times do I have to tell you that this shit isn't in 3D?! And do you mean to tell me that this 'live-action' actually served no purpose whatsoever?! This has nothing to do with anything?! So you're basically just casually wasting everyone's time with this?!

Kagura: The author really wanted to make a live-action thing like in the anime. She's even humming the music right now. Du du du du du du.

Shinpachi: That sounds nothing like the music. That's from D*raemon isn't it?! Stop humming D*raemon! And that thing makes an appearance again?!

Gin-san: Careful Shinpachi. Don't call the author a 'thing' or a 'that'. It can do things to you remember.

Shinpachi: Eh? Didn't you just refer to her as an 'it' yourself? Take your own freaking advice you moron!

Kagura: I'm scared. Four-eyed Bastard can even give us all perms…see.

The screen shows Shinpachi (glasses) with a perm.

Shinpachi: Why meeee?! That just looks so freaking stupid! And didn't you just call her 'Four eyed Bastard' and get away with it?! Why the hell does she let you off and punish me instead?! Does she hate me?!

Gin-san: Feh. For some reason Takoyaki likes you almost as much as she like me. Baka.

Shinpachi: Takoyaki?! What the hell does that have to do with anything!? Now you're just calling her random things?! Seriously why does she let you get away with calling her an idiot and I'm permed for it?

Gin-san: Patsuan, Patsuan, Patsuan. Isn't it obvious? To-L*ve Ru Darkness is an M.

Shinpachi: Don't bring To-L*ve Ru Darkness into this! This is seriously getting ridiculous now! And an M? Are you stupid? She obviously gets a thrill from picking on me! She's clearly an S! So she's an S and an M? She may as well be you Gin-san. You're both perverts!

Kagura: Unko is just an idiot.

Shinpachi: Now she's shit?! I've had enough. Can we just get this over and done with?

Gin-san: Oi, you heard him! Roll film kono yaro!

Screen cuts to black and the opening theme begins!

I have so much fun writing Gintama fics that it's unbelievable. But I do tend to involve myself all the time lol just like Sorachi sensei! I have never wanted to marry a man/Gorilla so much in my entire life. I'd even take up nose-picking to please him!

If anyone didnt understand any of the references in the fic then feel free to pm me or ask in a review. Oh, and please do review...it makes me update faster!