Disclaimer: I don't own NGE, sorry. ^_^ Give all that credit to Gainax! The only thing I own is…um…well, in my mind the original story is mine. Other that that…zippo. ;)
"Connecting nerve transmissions. Connection complete. Activating power. Activation complete. Receiving harmonics data...harmonics at 18.3%."
Misato didn't realize she was holding her breath until she released it in relief. She wiped her slick forehead with the back of her hand. She gave a nervous grin to her friend beside her.
"Well, I suppose that went well?"
"We're quite lucky that his harmonics are above 10%, and that he can actually synchronize," Ritsuko replied, seemingly casual, but Misato could see the slight release of her shoulders as she let them droop in relaxation.
"That all the information you have for us, Maya?" she questioned.
"Yes Major. Unit-03 has activated."
+++
"So, Touji, how does it feel?" Misato rolled up the sleeves of her jacket, damp and hot from sweat. The black-haired boy in question unconsciously ran a hand down the side of his hair thoughtfully.
"It's...different. But I think I'm alright, Misa--I mean, Major."
"Don't worry about it. But right now I need you to concentrate, Touji. Once you are synchronized with the Eva, you are basically one being. By a mixture of thought and the controls at your hands, you make the Eva move. You have complete control. But this also causes you to feel all pressure applied to the Eva."
"Pressure?"
Misato winced; she honestly didn't want to bring Touji into this. She was rather fond of the boy. "You'll feel pain, Touji."
There was a long pause from the other line until he responded.
"Alright. What do you want me to do?"
He's so young...but so stubborn...
"Concentrate, like I said before. Just...relax."
She watched his image, as he closed his eyes. She could see the small releases of tension in his form. No wonder, she thought. He's the one who really understands without even piloting or being involved. He knew the risks he was taking.
"All for his sister..." She shook her head in amazement. He had an almost foolish sense of loyalty.
"Harmonics at 18.5%," was announced.
"You're doing great, Touji," Misato said warmly. "Just relax...this has to become second nature. The first time will always be the lowest score. Once you settle in this time, that score will be recorded as the first synchronization rate of Suzuhara Touji."
+++
Touji wished he had something better to tell Misato. In truth, it didn't feel WRONG in Unit-03, as he had suspected. But it still felt...off. He felt uncomfortable in the LCL, for one thing. But Unit-03 itself...he couldn't describe it, really. But he felt as if he wasn't along, as if there was someone else there. But he felt it best not to say anything, though. Probably just his imagination.
"Concentrate," he heard Misato repeat over the intercom for what he felt was the millionth time.
"I'm trying!" he finally snapped back at her, opening an eye to see her image start, then smile slightly.
"Sorry, Touji. I guess I'm just nervous myself."
He didn't answer that, but tried to concentrate even more. But then again, what was he supposed to concentrate ON? He wasn't moving the Eva yet, so he didn't need to concentrate on doing something with it. Should he concentrate on...settling, in the Eva? But how did you go around doing that?
He gave a sigh of frustration, and closed his eyes once more. He tried to concentrate on simply coming into a complete relaxed, accepting state of mind. He felt every muscle fiber loosen, felt his heart beat slower, his breathing become deeper. He felt himself go past all outside awareness, felt himself slip into a state in between consciousness and unconsciousness. And then he was engulfed.
+++
Touji felt his eyes flutter open, to a bland ceiling with a single, sickly dull light. For years ahead, he would be able to recall the first thought that came to his mind.
"What an ugly ceiling."
He sat up in the bed, rubbing his forehead with one hand, while leaning his weight on the other. He tugged the neck of his hospital robe into his sight, and sighed in annoyance.
"Must be the infirmary," he muttered, starting to lower his hand, but brought it swiftly back under his nose. He gave a small sound of disgust.
"...it smells like blood."
He dropped back down to the pillow with a loud thump, giving another sigh.
"I don't know how you do it, Shinji..."
The ugly light shone on.
"Or, God help me...how I will."
+++
Touji felt himself being engulfed, being robbed of all control of his body. He felt memories torn from his mind, to be watched by something else.
He felt strong memories replayed, memories of his mother dying, of utter rage at Shinji for piloting his first time, feelings when he saw Hikari...and then, his scenes of strongest emotion looked at yet again. His mother's death. His sister's crippling. All the strong, uncontrollable negative feelings. But still...those boyish glimpses of Misato, feelings of light-headedness at the sight of Hikari. All powerful emotions. But who was watching them?
He watched those memories played over and over. Birthdays. Moving. Friends. Girls. Death. Helplessness.
"Who are you?" he finally yelled, unable to take the interrogation any longer.
He felt a pause, and then a feeling of utter awe overswept him. He could feel the presence now, quite clearly. It was almost...holy. It sent him a message. Not in words, exactly. But he could understand it perfectly, all the same.
I...
Feelings, mixed with glimpses of words. Glimpses of brilliant light, so beautiful that it brought tears to Touji's eyes. Glimpses of beautiful white wings, so pure. Glimpses of a holy place that he did not deserve.
I am Bardiel.
--
Author's Notes!
Hey everyone! This is the start of what I hope shall turn into my first full-length fic! That's right, this is NOT a oneshot! (This coming from THE oneshot author here…). I'm not going to divulge the plot at all, but I will say that I need pre-readers, to help me edit my drafts before I post! Interested, email me at amani1@home.com!