Arms of an Angel

She could feel his eyes on her, they burned a path down her spine sending her up in flames. The tingling that had started at the bottom of her back had rapidly turned into butterflies in her belly. Shed always been able to feel him, with out turning around shed known it was him.

It had always been the same, even before the slayer had arrived and fallen for him. Shed seen him a few times, looking so sad and lonely, shed wanted to wrap him up in her arms and banish the hurt from his eyes.

When Buffy had come to town and started to fall for him, she had been okay with it, it had hurt a little but she was content to be his friend. Shed almost had a heart attack when hed come to ask her for help over Ford, shed hoped that he was there to see her, but no it had been Buffy, it had always been Buffy. Or so shed thought anyway, all the hoping and longing had eventually paid off. One night he had come to her room, hed knocked on the door so lightly shed almost missed it, but shed felt him, in the back of her mind, it was a side effect from the curse, after the casting she had retained some kind of small bond with him. Sensing him whenever he was near. So she had known who was knocking at her door.

Hed been so nervous, fidgeting, ringing his hand, stuttering, she had been reminded of herself, it was almost amusing, but the frightened look in his eyes had stopped her laughing out loud. Hed finally spat it out, in disjointed and rambling sentences hed told her he loved her, had for months, ever since hed come back from hell. She had been ecstatic, her heart had done a double beat, but she had known it could never be anything, not really, she told him she loved him too but they would never be able to have a relationship, she just couldn't hurt Buffy and the others like that. Her best friend meant too much to her. Hed pleaded with her, said he was going to chase her, make her his, and as exciting as that sounded, she kept saying no.

Eventually her barriers had dropped, hed been so close to her for so long, never giving up, always telling her how much he loved her that she had given in, she couldn't hold back any longer and they had started an affair. It went on for months, she kept falling deeper and deeper in love with him, it got harder to say good bye in the morning, and easier to stay the day. She had known that they had to stop, someone would find out and it would have ended all their friendships. So she told him to leave, to get out of Sunnydale for good and not come back, they had to end it and soon. Hed refused saying that he didn't give a damn about the others and what they thought, but she did give a damn, She still remembered the conversation, and the look on his face when he realised that she was serious...

"You know I love you, I always have and always will, but we cant carry this on, it will only hurt in the end, you have to leave"
"Little one please, I love you I cant leave you, come with me?"
"No, I cant, I wont, If you don't leave Ill never be able to let you go, every day Im falling further, please, just.."
"I don't want you to let me go, please don't make me do this, don't make me leave the one thing that has kept me going all these months, please little one I need you, more than I need life"

"No, just go, okay, just leave"

He turned pleading eyes on her one last time and then slipped into the night, silent tears running down his cheeks. It had felt like her insides were being ripped out, her throat burned and her eyes were puffy from the crying shed done, but she knew that it was the right decision. Theyd agreed he would leave after the ascension.

That had been today, and she had wanted to die, he had stood and watched them for a few minutes and then faded into the smoke, never looking back, shed wanted to run to him, hold him, tell him she was wrong, but her resolve held her in place. Shed come to the fish tank, a seedy little club on the opposite side of town, just to think, and to relax, no one knew her here, she could be herself, no worries about what the others thought. She had just needed to get out, after the ceremony shed been to juiced to sleep and couldn't sit still long enough to do anything productive, so shed come here.

She didn't turn, she knew he was there and she knew he would come to her. She felt him put his hand on her arm and try to turn her around on the stool..

"I thought you were leaving?"
"I am, I just needed to see you, once more before I left"
"But..."
"No, please, just this one dance, so I can memorise everything about you, please"
"O..Okay, just the one dance"

She turned then, slipping off the bar stool and into his waiting arms, they walked to the dance floor, just holding each other. They began a slow sensual dance,

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

All the love they felt, all the longing and need, was conveyed in that one dance.

In the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

She clung to him, for what seemed like eternity, just savouring the scent of him, and the feel of his arms around her.

So tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
in the arms of an angel

He held her, never wanting to let go, she was his love, and he didn't know if he could live without her, but he was leaving, and hed never have her in his arms again.

fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here.

The song ended, and they both knew it was time, he had been dreading it, the last time shed be in his arms, the last time hed see her brilliant smile or feel her warmth. She leant up and placed a tender kiss on his quivering lips, then slipped out of his arms. He felt cold without her, empty somehow. She sent him a sad smile and then turned to walk away. Steeling herself for the inner battle, to not run back to him and stay with him for eternity.

Without looking at him she said..

"Good bye, my Angel, I love you, now and always"
"Noooo, Willow please, I cant do this without you, I love you"

But she was already gone, pushing through the door and walking away out into the night, she knew she would never be happy again, never love another as she did him. With unshed tears glistening in her emerald orbs she disappeared from view. Leaving a very cold, very sad vampire alone on the dance floor, crying bloody tears for what could have been, and would never be...

"willow..."

The End