(I've been thinking and I've decided that since more people liked "Carpeted Floors and Parrots" to any of my DW fics I should start writing more TW crack. Anyways, here it is)

(P.S. I managed to get this past by beta reader, so Laura-chan, don't kill me. Consider this as a small Christmas present. Enjoy.)

The Hub settled in a deathly silence. The stifling quiet seemed to suffocate the room's last occupant. Toshiko and Owen had taken off two hours beforehand, Tosh heading off to her chess club, Owen doing what he does after work. Probably staring out his window with a pair of binoculars at all passing humans of female persuasion. Jack and Ianto had just left. 'Weevil hunting' Jack had said as the pair swept out the door.

"Weevil hunting, my foot." Gwen muttered under her breath. It wasn't hard to tell from the hungry look in Jack's eyes that he had something incredibly different planned.

A rustling sound from the second floor drew her attention. Gwen slowly left her desk, if you could call a proverbial mountain of computer screens paperwork a desk, and crept up the spiralling staircase. Her hand scrabbled at her hip as she felt for her handgun. Fumbling, she drew the firearm out of the holster and held it in front of her.

I'm drawing a gun in my office; she thought as her eyes searched for the sound's origin, where else in the world would I get away with that? Not the police force for a start.

A brief search of the floor unveiled a bird-like dinosaur nesting in the rafters. Gwen wasn't really surprised. This was an agency which had a trove of alien technology tucked away in the basement, several actual aliens in the holding cells and two dead ones in the autopsy room, why wouldn't they have a prehistoric creature hidden in the rafters?

Sighing loudly, Gwen rolled her shoulders, trying to work out the tension and leaned against the metal railing. Yawning, she let her gaze roam around the Hub. The depressing site met her eyes. The gleaming table in the Medical Bay winked at her, pale moonlight reflecting off it's polished surface. A dull shade of cream adorned the walls meanwhile the glass seemed almost non-existent in the absence of light. Metal surfaces appeared black. Al in all, the room looked lifeless. Gwen reached a decision, after all what else would she be doing tonight? Rhys had gone off with a mate to London and all that would be waiting for her at room would be a cold bed and leftover chicken from yesterday's dinner. She climbed down the staircase and headed out the door after grabbing her handbag.

What this place needs, she thought as the door rolled shut behind her, is a bit of colour.

*****

Three hours and 15 minutes later the door rumbled open. A figure in a greatcoat dragged a body across the threshold. It was snoring gently.

Jack bent over and heaved the weight upwards. Flinging Ianto into a fireman's lift, Jack smiled to himself. That would be the last time Ianto tried to drink him under the table. Shifting the snoring figure on his shoulder, Jack turned to face the staircase. Something tickled his face.

Someone had hung fake snowflakes from the roof. Tinsel had been twisted around the handrails. Worst of all, cotton wool had been attached to everyone's desks with Santa hats perched on the corner of each team members computer monitor. Jack stared at the decorations. He couldn't remember the last time the Hub had been dressed up. A slight stirring on his shoulder reminded him of who was up there. First, he'd get Ianto to bed, and then he'd sort this lot out.

He found Gwen at her desk, hidden by the mountains of white sheets surrounding her. Her deep breaths and peaceful look told him she was asleep. He didn't have the heart to wake her.

A rustling caught his attention. Glancing upwards, he immediately saw the problem. A quivering ball of tinsel was swinging from the rafters.

Common sense told him banners and tinsel where acceptable at Christmas. Streamers and snowflakes also came into the tradition. Jack went into his office with a look of confusion on his face. Since when had hanging pterodactals from the roof become part of the holiday traditions?

(Merry Christmas!!!!!!!)