A/N- Chapter 102 spoilers. Also, sappy stuff alert. Beware. FMA isn't mine, you know.
Getting dressed had been pretty easy once he learned to put everything in its place. That was the main rule for being blind. Being blind meant being organized and neat. The chair always goes here. The shampoo always goes there. For the first time in his life, he'd begun putting his clothes away as soon as he got them back from the laundry, and he now put them in the laundry basket immediately after he undressed. He'd always been precise with his alchemy, but he'd never been organized with his clothes or household stuff. Who knew that being blind would make it easier for him to locate things and that his apartment would be much neater?
The necessity for neatness was one of the smaller changes he'd had to make along with switching to an electric shaver and giving his automobile to Riza. He had never driven that much, anyway. Riza had usually driven the motor pool vehicles when they were on duty. He had only used his own car when he didn't have another way of getting around.
The bigger changes, however, were of epic proportion. He could now perform array-less transmutations, but he'd all but given up flame alchemy. It was still a good parlor trick to light a fireplace, which he could do by kneeling near the hearth, but it was too dangerous to do much else with it. He was learning Braille, and it was not easy. Maybe Fullmetal was right about him being an "old man." He could now get around his apartment pretty well, but he was learning to use a cane to get around elsewhere. He had to count and remember steps. How to listen to traffic. How to be careful at curbs. All of this learning ought to help keep his brain working.
He smiled. He actually liked learning all of these new skills. Even the big Braille challenge. Most alchemists had inquiring minds, and he had told himself that he was just adding some unexpected information to his knowledge base. He wouldn't admit this to anyone, especially Fullmetal. He enjoyed the shrimp's sympathy and would wring as much as he could out of him.
He hadn't told anyone, but he had been practicing non-flame transmutations. He may have become a One Trick Pony over the years, but Mr. Hawkeye had given him a superb alchemical education. Most of it was still in his brain somewhere, and he had been trying to access it. Maybe the worst thing about being blind was not being able to read any alchemy books. Al and Ed had searched for Braille texts everywhere to no avail. He was thinking about hiring a young aspiring alchemist as a reader. When he became more competent and confident, he could even apprentice the reader. While he'd always be a student, he could also be a teacher. He'd been thinking a lot about sightless alchemy. It really wasn't that preposterous. He really thought that what he had decided he wanted to do with alchemy was quite possible to do without sight. He'd already discussed in with a couple of alchemists, swearing them to secrecy.
The knock at the door drew him from his reverie. He got to the door with relative ease. "Who's there?" he asked. As if he didn't know.
"It's me, Colonel. I mean Roy." Her voice made him smile, even if she was still having trouble calling him by his given name.
Actually, he was a Brigadier General now. Grumman, the wily old bastard, had promoted Mustang and his team right after seizing power. Olivier had been promoted, too, and Grumman was keeping her close by as his right hand and not trusting her an iota. Roy had dealt with his disappointment at not being in line for power. After all, his goal had been for Amestris to become a democracy. Once the Reorganization was over, no one person would have too much power. There'd be checks and balances. And, while he may not be able to see, he'd damn sure get back into the mix if Grumman and Armstrong didn't move in that direction. He did have some influence with the generals, and more importantly, with the people of Amestris.
He had let Riza in while he was thinking. He always seemed to be thinking these days.
"What did you bring me?" he asked with a smile.
Riza laughed. "I tried to not make any noise with the bag, but you still figured it out. I just brought groceries. Vegetables, soup. Stuff like that."
"Great. Thanks. Come on in and I'll make some tea."
"I can do it, sir…"
"So can I, Riza," he said, emphasizing her name. She was no longer under his command. Grumman had reassigned his team until Roy was ready to resume his duties. Well, that was one of the things that he had to talk to Riza about. "What kind of tea do you want?"
"Green please, Roy."
He picked up the bag of groceries and walked to the kitchen. He reached for where the green tea was supposed to be, took down a box, and sniffed it. Yes! Green tea. The kettle was on the front left burner of the oven, and he filled it at the sink. "Why don't you keep me company Riza?" he called.
He heard quick footsteps, and she was immediately in the kitchen. "May I at least help you put things away?"
"Sure. Thanks. I'll show you where each thing goes. Don't tell me what it is unless I ask, okay?"
She nodded.
"Did you nod?" he chuckled.
"Yes, Roy. I did. I'm sorry."
"I guess that my friends have a lot to get used to, too."
By the time they finished with the groceries, he could hear the water boiling. He had already gotten two spoons from the drawer and two cups from the cupboard and put a teabag in each. He turned the oven burner off and carefully picked up the kettle. He warily held the first cup and aimed the kettle. He counted to eight and righted the kettle. He repeated the act. He cautiously carried the cups to the table and set them down. After fetching a plate to put the used teabags on, he sat himself down.
"I have a few things to talk to you about, Riza. I've been making a lot of decisions about my life." He hesitated for a second.
"Roy…"
"Riza, I'm leaving the military. I'm going to apply for a disability discharge," he told her.
"Roy…" she tried to interrupt again.
"Please, Riza. Please let me tell you first, and then I'll listen to what you have to say."
"I'm nodding, Roy."
He laughed. "It's a good thing, Riza. I'm leaving because I have things that I want to do that have nothing to do with the military. I've done what I set out to do because of Ishbal. I really helped change Amestris for the better. And if your grandfather and Armstrong don't continue on the right path, I'll get involved again. But right now, I want to do something else. I want to relearn everything that your father taught me. I am going to continue in alchemy. I'm going to hire a reader slash apprentice. Once I've re-mastered non-flame alchemy, I want to study alkahestry. It's time for me to learn how to save lives." He paused again. "What do you think?"
"That's wonderful Roy. I'm so happy." She couldn't control herself, and tears ran down her cheeks.
He slowly reached across the table, carefully not disturbing anything and seeking her hand. "I'm actually happier than I've been in ages," he told her. "I have new goals, and I like them. I'll never be able to atone for what I've done, but I will be for the people this time.
"But I can't do this while in the military, and as soon as I am up to par with my alchemic skills, I will be moving to Xing. Mei is going to help pave my way. We talked a lot while she was healing my hands. She's even going to teach me some basics before I leave. I'm sure that I'll be ready within a year. I'm hoping sooner."
"I'll go with you. I'll resign as soon as you are ready to go. Even now, if you want."
"No, no, no, no. You will not come with me to Xing." Yes, yes, yes, yes. Come with me to Xing and wherever else I go. "You're done watching my back and taking care of me. You're fired! It's really time for you to put yourself first. Figure out what you want to do, and do it. Make Riza Number One! You are long overdue," he said as cheerily as possible since he felt like crying.
"I do know what I want to do" Riza stated. "And be quiet. It's my turn to speak. You know that I love you. If you hadn't figured it out before I lost it with Lust, you learned it then. When you yelled at me, yelled at me about it, I was devastated. Cold old Hawkeye went home and cried. Then, when you nearly succumbed to your desire for revenge for Hughes' death and I told you that I'd kill myself after I killed you, I guess that it was my way of telling you again. However, I've never told you why I love you.
"The biggest reason that I love you is that I shared your goals. My father was a brilliant alchemist, but it was solely an intellectual pursuit with him. It had never occurred to me that one could help people using alchemy. It had never occurred to me that a person could spend his or her life helping people. When you told me what you wanted to do, it was an epiphany for me. I wanted to help people, too. I thought about it a lot. I couldn't afford to go to college, anyway, so I decided to follow you into the military so that I could protect you. And help people.
"It didn't hurt that when I was stuck in that house with my father, you were my best friend. It didn't hurt that you were the cutest guy I had ever seen. It didn't hurt that you could make me laugh when I wanted to cry. Everything made me love you.
"I'm not totally inexperienced, Roy. I did manage to date after you left, and, despite what Havoc, Falman, Breda, and Fuery may think, I've dated quite a bit since I've worked for you. I don't know if I've managed to meet a particularly poor quality of male, but no one that I've been with has held a candle to you."
"Riza, I…"
"I'm not finished. As far as the military goes, whether I go to Xing with you or not, I am leaving. I would have stayed for you, but I really want out. I've saved enough money to go to school now, and the military will help. I like the idea of going to Xing to be with you and because it would be good for me. I've never been anywhere unless the army sent me. I'd love to really see a new place. Live abroad!
"You regret the deaths that you caused. Don't you think that I do, too? Amestris is on the right path now. I've come to a fork in my road, and my path is the one without the guns.
"I don't expect you to love me back Roy. I know that you care for me, and that is enough. I will not marry, though. It would be a lie, and I would never do that to a man. And conversely, I will never interfere in your, um, affairs.
"So, Roy, will you allow me to go to Xing with you? I won't kill myself if you won't, but I will be much less happy than if you let me accompany you. Now it's your turn."
"Oh, Riza. I just want you to be happy, to live the best life that you can. It wasn't so bad for me to let you put your life on hold when we were working for something so important, but now that I am going to live my life for me, I want you to live your life for you. I don't deserve you. I want you to have someone who can take care of you, not that you need taking care of. But you deserve the luxury of someone who can. You could have a family. Just because you haven't met the One doesn't mean you won't."
"I have met the One."
He was silent. He hung his head, thinking yet again. Why she wanted him was a mystery. She could have a man who could see. She could have a man who was clean. Any man on the planet would be better for her than him, but he didn't think that there was a man who could love her more than he did. He suddenly realized that her hands were gripping his hand that he had reached across the table. He withdrew it. Was it possible that his love could make her happy? He was so damaged in so many ways. This is the fork in my road, but my choice will affect both of our lives. Could the selfish choice possibly be the right one? She kept silent as he thought.
"You may come to Xing with me under one condition, Riza," he said.
"Okay. Tell me what it is."
He had risen from his chair and circled the table to her side. He couldn't see the expression on her face as he knelt next to her chair.
"Marry me, Riza." He lay his cheek on her lap. "You are my One. My love."
A/N- I love reviews even more than Roy and Riza love each other! xD