So Near Yet so Far
I woke from my daze to see Li
starting to leave. It's hard to tell
the difference between reality and that world of pain. Depression does that to you. I just want this pain to end, before only
Kimiko kept me from letting
myself go. Now even she was gone. I needed to talk this time. It couldn't go on anymore like this.
I am standing in
the shadows
Watching you cry
I long to reach
out and touch you
But I'm afraid, afraid to fall from my high
Li Syaoran, president of the Wolf
Entertainment Inc.©, checked himself in the mirror before heading out. The mirror showed a pair of brown eyes
flecked with gold staring back at him, the light shone of his gold Rolex, a man
clad in a neatly pressed Italian suit. He was going to a meeting with his board of directors. They were insisting that their new toy the
"magical fortune cards" were the next best thing. He doubted it. The U.S.
industry was taking over the Japanese toy market. These were tough times now. Every wolf for himself now.
He heard a raspy sound as if
words were uncustomary to the speaker. He turned to see it was from his wife. His cool eyes surveyed her. She
used to be beautiful. She still
was. Auburn hair tumbled down her back
as slim hands cradled milk white skin. The only thing wrong with this perfect picture was her eyes. Damn her eyes. It hurt whenever he looked at them. They used to be sparkling and full of life. Now they were dull and full of pain. He didn't want to be in pain too. It had hurt so badly for that brief period
of time. He knew now. He distanced himself from her, hoping it
would stop the pain.
You are so near,
yet so far
It's taken me so
long to build my wall
I don't want to
let it fall
You are
so near, yet so far
He was going
to leave, and I wouldn't have time to say what I needed to say. "No!" I shouted hoping it would make him
stay. There once was a time when he
could just read my thoughts. Now he was
so distant, so cold. My feelings were
the farthest thing from his mind. All I
needed was love. I didn't care about
the gifts he showered on me. As if that
could be a substitute. A faint ",
stop," was all I can manage. My soul
ached to be free. It's hard to pull my
thoughts together anymore. Fate would
not wait. I whispered ", hold me Li. Just hold me for once."
I can see the
tears in your eyes
Yet I cannot reach
and brush them away
I can feel you
ache
Yet I can't take away your pain
This time Li's irritation could not be kept in.
How dare she try to loop him in that….that……..EMOTIONAL bind of hers. He would not stand for that. He couldn't. He didn't want to. Did he? As he struggled to put in words how he really felt from his mouth slipped these words", If you excuse me I have to go. If you need anything call the my assistant."
Sakura stepped back as if she had been slapped. He would never get what she was feeling. Never. Realization dawned upon her.
"You don't love me anymore do you? Am I just something that you used to adore, then gotten tired of and hid in the dark closet?"
Contempt obvious on his face. Ice dripped down his voice. "I am bound to you by a piece of paper stating you are my wife. Nothing more."
Li mentally slapped himself. That was cruel. Maybe too cruel.
You are so near,
yet so far
It's taken me so
long to build my wall
I don't want to
let it fall
You are so near, yet so far
That had hurt even more. It was no use anymore. I
could not go on. "Go," I said
wearily. I gave up. Casting one last look at me, Li walked out
the door and went out of my life
forever. I rose from the couch to see
his figure disappear in the rain. I
turned and glanced at every part of the house, every little thing. I even looked into Kimiko's old
nursery. The windchime still rung. I went into my room, and took out my wedding
dress. I struggled into it as the satin
and taffeta obscured my view. It meant
everything to me. I wore it the day I
married the man I loved. I'm going to
wear it the day I stop loving forever. It was hard to climb on the top of the roof but I managed. The wind tousled my hair, blowing the
strands into my face. I swallowed my
breath and leapt off the roof to let the wind catch me and take me to an island
in the sky where love is always kept and always returned.
You'll smolder out
like a fallen star
With no dreams, no
hopes, and no love
That smile of
yours will fade
Maybe things would have been different if I hadn't been
The gardener paused from his planting to see a handsome young man go by. His gray suit looked out of place in this flower-studded garden of rest. The gardener hobbled to where the young man was bowing his head. The young man took a branch of a sakura and laid it on the headstone. When the young man went away the gardener peered at the headstone. On it was inscribed only five words
………………so
near yet so far
Author's Note:
*Nona runs away*
I'm sorry I killed Sakura off. I just felt like writing this because no one to date has yet explored the possibility of Sakura and Li marrying, but not having that fairy tale marriage. Oh and I dedicate this to all my friends and Kimiko because now she's finally in a fic. I wrote the song especially for this fic? Do you like it?