What About Us

Chapter 1: Cycle

A/N: Before you start reading this, I'm warning you I'm a terrible updater with a slew of unfinished stories and empty, broken promises about updating. Nonetheless, I am starting this story, and I wont make any promises about when it will be updated, but I'm going to try. The story starts at the end of sophomore year, and though there will be some LP and NH, this is definitely a Neyton/Pathan story. Mostly inspired by the beginning of season 1 and the false hope OTH offered Pathan fans at the end of season 2, as well as the first fanfiction I ever read about 3 years ago, Guilty Until Proven Innocent by Rachtree, which is so amazing and still being written, so you should definitely check it out. There will definitely be differences in the stories, the plot to be most accurate, but I loved the exploration into NP's relationship, so here's my take at it. I hope you enjoy!

It was the last day of school, the end of sophomore year, and they were broken up. It shouldn't have really surprised her, seeing as how they'd never been able to keep their act together for long. But still, knowing that they wouldn't be together that night really hurt her. She knew he wouldn't be around until the first week of summer parties ended, maybe longer, because he would never willingly pass up the slew of girls he could be hooking up with just to be with her. She never understood how he could claim to love her, claim to only really want her, and sleep with all the girls he did. It wasn't like she didn't get her fair share of offers either – usually from guys who had heard about their latest break up and were hoping for a shot at melting the ice queen – yet she just couldn't imagine letting another guy touch her the way that only he had, even if he had no qualms, even when they were together, being with other girls the way he was only meant to be with her. Just the thought made her cringe as she slammed her locker shut and removed her belongings from within it for the last time this school year. When she turned around, she was faced with none other than the bubbling face of her best friend, Brooke Davis.

"Brookie monster," she smiled, "what's up?" Brooke seemed to be bubbling over with excitement, her lips pressed tightly together as if she wouldn't be able to stop herself from exploding where she stood without the serious effort.

"Oh nothing P. Sawyer," she said mischievously her grin widening, "just thinking about all the beautiful, beautiful boys with beautiful, beautiful bodies who will be shirtless at the beach party tonight" she giggled, but stopped when Peyton rolled her eyes as she placed her bag inside of Brooke's car. The brunette had just gotten her license a few weeks prior, and though Peyton was a little ticked that she would now be the last of her friends to drive, she was thankful that wouldn't be taking the bus despite her and Nathan's latest breakup. "What?" she heard Brooke question from the driver's seat of her new car.

Peyton shrugged and avoided Brooke's eyes. "About that Brooke, I don't really feel in the partying mood." She didn't think for a second that Brooke would buy it, or that she would get out of going to this party, but it was always worth a try. From the way Brooke was looking at her, as if she'd grown a tail, a second head, and developed scales, Peyton could only assume that her attempt at escape had failed miserably even after Brooke focused on the road and pulled out of the school.

Brooke looked sternly at the curly blonde before speaking, "Why would you not want to go to a party?" She saw Peyton's lips open up with a response but kept going, "I mean, we're young, free to hook up, and it's summer time. Why wouldn't you want to embrace all of that and watch hot guys with no shirts run around on the beach?"

"Maybe because I know my boyfriend will be one of the guys 'hooking up' and it won't be with me. So excuse me if I don't want to sign up for a front row seat of him shagging every girl with a pulse."

"Your ex-boyfriend, P. Sawyer! You said it yourself that you were done with him for good this – "

"Brooke I'm not going, just leave it alone!" she yelled, but as she watched Brooke's face fall, she instantly softened. "It's not that I don't want to go out with you, I just don't want to see Nathan. I lied. I don't want to be without him Brooke, and seeing him there tonight will just hurt me, so no, I don't want to go." She was glad to see they'd made it to her house; she just wanted to escape this situation as soon as possible. As she opened her car door and stood up, she heard the door on the opposite side of the car slam shut. She gave Brooke a look, but the brunette just shook her head and kept walking towards Peyton's front door. When they got inside, she felt Brooke's eyes on her back.

She tried to ignore it at first, but then decided she might as well get things over with. "What is it, Brooke?" The brunette eyed her for a minute before responding, "It's just, I know you're super in love with Nathan. But then you break up with him, and when I try to convince you to take him back, you just get mad at me, but when I try to convince you to move on, you fall into this deep dark hole filled with grunge rock and sketch pads that no one can pull you out of," she watched as Peyton went to defend herself but stopped her, "and don't try to say it isn't true because it is P. Sawyer, so tell me what's going on" she pouted at the blonde who was now sprawled out on her bed with her hands over her face.

Peyton groaned and sat up. "It's just, I take him back Brooke, but for what? He just does it again, and I just dump him again, and take him back again. He doesn't care at all, and it makes me look so stupid to care so much." At those words Brooke pulled her friend into a hug, letting her head rest on her shoulder so she could speak gently into her ear, "Oh sweetie, he does care. We all know that boy is crazy about you, he's just, trying to figure out how to show it." She looked down at her friend, who had, with lackluster, nodded her head in the affirmative, and decided to change the subject. "So, Jake will be at this party tonight…" she said, wiggling her eyebrows, and she was glad to see the sparkle in her friend's eye and the slight smile come to her face as she playfully rolled her eyes.

The girls talked and laughed for another hour before the brunette glanced at the clock. It was already 4, and she really needed to make another stop on her way home to get ready for the party. As she said her goodbye, she stopped in the doorway before leaving, "I'll be back to pick your skinny ass up and help you pick out something at least halfway decent to wear at 8 o'clock, so I expect you to not be pouting when I get back."

Peyton groaned, "Brooke – "

"Don't 'Brooke' me P. Sawyer. I need you to be my wingman tonight" she said sternly, but really, she just wanted her best friend to get out of the stupor she had fallen into. Peyton rolled her eyes, they both knew that Brooke didn't need a wingman to have Jake falling all over himself, he was so smitten, but she agreed to go anyway and was slightly pleased with herself when she heard the squeal leave her best friend's mouth upon her grumbled response. As she watched Brooke leave, she turned her stereo on and proceeded to lie back against the pillows on her bed. Sighing, she knew it would be a long night.

Nathan put the weights down that he had in his hands when he heard incessant knocking on his door. He opened it to be met by none other than Brooke Davis' angry glare. He crossed his arms in front of him, not caring to wipe the sweat off his brow that threatened to stream down his face.

"What do you want Brooke?" he asked, a little impatient and irritated with her for showing up at his house unannounced. She pushed past him and walked into the Scott home, knowing full well that it would serve to anger him further, but at the point she had reached, she really didn't care. When she finally reached his kitchen, she took a seat on one of the bar stools that surrounded the island. Crossing her legs, she sat waiting for Nate to follow. He did, after telling her to speak but getting no response except a raised eyebrow and a pointed look towards a chair. He looked at her expectantly, but when she still didn't speak, he leaned his head back and groaned with exasperation, "What do you want, Brooke?"

She looked him in the eye when she responded. "I want you to stop." His forehead wrinkled in confusion before he asked her to clarify, not really in the mood for her word games. "Stop hurting Peyton. She doesn't deserve it and I know you love her and she loves you so just, stop hurting her," she bore into his eyes, really hoping he would understand and that maybe all of the Nathan and Peyton drama would come to an end, but all she received was an angry scowl in return.

"Don't act like you know about us, Brooke. Just butt out" he growled at her, angry that she had the audacity to talk to him about his and Peyton's relationship, but even more so for insinuating that he hurt Peyton on purpose – he would never do that. Brooke shook her head in the affirmative, "I don't know everything, but I know enough. You're my friend Nate, but she's my best friend, so stop it." She stood to stand but was stopped by Nathan's voice. "You don't just get to show up here and say stuff like that Brooke. It's none of your business!" She looked at him sadly, wondering where the boy she had grown up with went, and when it had happened. She shook her head at him and continued walking, as she opened the door, she turned and looked at him with an expression more serious that the one's Brooke Davis often wore. "You know the saying, 'break her heart and I'll break your face?'" she didn't wait for him to respond before continuing, "Well, you'd better quit screwing with her or I'll break an appendage you like far more." Then she was gone, and she left Nathan sitting, wide-eyed and open-mouthed in her wake.

Peyton and Brooke arrived at the beach a little after 9 o'clock, and though Brooke was quickly swept up in the party scene, Peyton was hanging by the bonfire. She had spotted Nathan with the team soon after her arrival, but she hadn't spoken to him. She was planning to take him back, whenever he decided to come around, but that didn't mean she wanted to approach him – her last shreds of dignity were sewn into the fact that, even if he strayed elsewhere, he would always make his way back to her bedroom to apologize. It was one of the few things about their relationship that she could take pride in, one of the few things that didn't make her look pathetic. She looked up from her halfway empty cup and noticed Nathan coming towards her.

He wasn't sure why he was approaching her now. He had originally planned to have his fun for a little while, maybe even a few more days, and then get her back. Yet, the words that Brooke had thrown at him before had been playing on repeat in his head ever since she'd left his house, and seeing her sitting alone on the beach, sad in the midst of all the excitement joy and chaos that was the first party of the summer, Brooke's words were only amplified. Stop it. You're hurting her. It wasn't like he meant to, he never meant to, he just…didn't think before he acted. And so he was a jerk. But he still loved her. And she looked really cute with her black bikini on under her shirt. So he was going to make things right – he didn't want anyone else in this moment more than he did her. He just hoped he would be able to convince her.

He kept walking through the sand, silently cursing the flip flops that he wore – despite them being comfortable on solid ground, they were not the best footwear for the beach. When he reached her he took a seat on the sand next to her and for a while they just sat in silence, watching the deep bright embers of the fire before them. After a few minutes, Nathan broke the quiet.

"I miss you, Peyton" he said, not having truly realized just how much until he was with her again, saying the words. He didn't really like their breakups, but they gave him the opportunity to mess around with other girls and she couldn't be mad at him, so he never really complained too much about them. This one, however, had gone on longer than he was comfortable with, and though being able to openly be with other girls was nice, it didn't really make him feel any less like he was cheating on Peyton, hell, at least when he was with her we was able to talk to her. On their breaks, they just avoided each other or yelled, depending on whether a feasible escape route was accessible when they ran into each other.

She could feel his blue eyes boring into the side of her face, but she refused to look at him. She couldn't believe she was so weak. All of the time, despite her best intentions and her rants to Brooke about being done with Nathan for good, when she wasn't with him, her heart hurt. But when she was with him, he hurt her heart any way. She wasn't sure how to feel about it. She felt his hands, strong and calloused from years of basketball, yet surprisingly gentle, reach out and touch her chin, turning her head softly until she was facing him. "I'm sorry" he said again, sounding just as earnest as he always did. "For what?" she asked, wondering if he was apologizing for something specific, or just trying to tell her what she wanted to hear. "Everything. I love you, even when I act like a jerk." He meant what he was saying, and she knew it, but that may have been even worse. If he loved her like he said he did, then why wasn't she enough to make him stop screwing around on her? Why wasn't she enough to make him want to not act like a jerk? She didn't know, but the deep yellows and oranges cast from the fire across his face made his blue eyes all the more mesmerizing, and quickly she was lost. She nodded her head, and for the first time in over a week, when he leaned down to kiss her lips, she didn't turn away.

A/N: Leave a review and tell me what you think.

Aryn