Title: Shake that 'Thang!
Author: Verbena, the pookie-lass!
Spoilers: None.
Disclaimer: The X-files belongs to Chris Carter, Fox, and 1013. The Daily Show belongs to Comedy Central. Jon, Vance, and Mo are all real people, hehehe.
Rating: PG
---
[Scully runs into Mulder's apartment.]
SCULLY: I'm sorry, Mulder. But I've decided to quit the FBI and marry Jon Stewart because he's hot.
MULDER: Hotter then me?
SCULLY: Yes, hotter then you. Wait, no he's not. But I'm in love with him!! So goodbye!
MULDER: Wait! One last kiss!
SCULLY: No!
MULDER: Yes!
SCULLY: No!
MULDER: Yes!
SCULLY: No!
MULDER: Yes!
SCULLY: No!
MULDER: Yes!
SCULLY: Diet Dr. Pepper now tastes more like regular.
MULDER: *grabs SCULLY and kisses her deeply*
SCULLY: Ew, Muldy, your dentures came out in my mouth!
MULDER: I wear dentures?
SCULLY: No! *runs away*
MULDER: *sigh* Goodbye, my love... *long pause* Wonder what's on HBO tonight.
---
[The Daily Show Headquarters in New York. Scully runs in while they're taping a show. Members of the audience start throwing tomatoes, spam, panties, fingernail clippings, and other various items at her.]
Jon Stewart: *looks at Scully, confused* Do we... have a surprise guest or something? *rubs his nipples* Ahhhh... *audience bursts into laughter*
Scully: Hello, my love! *jumps onto Jon Stewart's desk and kicks over his cup of coffee and rips up his papers*
Jon Stewart: Hey, hey! I spent a lot of time drawing stick figures on those papers! Meanie!
Scully: Ovaltine!
Jon Stewart: Me too!
Scully: Okay! Marry me!
Jon Stewart: But I'm already married!
Scully: Marry me!
Jon Stewart: Okay!
Scully: Kid tested, mother approved!
Jon Stewart: No, it's goose!
Scully: Okay!
[Jon Stewart and Scully kiss. Audience goes "ooooo".]
Scully: Ew, your dentures came out in my mouth!
Jon Stewart: I wear dentures?
Scully: No!
Jon Stewart: Okay!
[Scully jumps back on table and does a happy dance. Vance Degeneres comes out and joins her.]
Vance Degeneres: (deadpan) Oh yeah. Shake that 'thang. Yeah. Yeah.
[Skinner runs onto the set wearing a pink frilly tutu and holding a fancy smancy umbrella. He twirls it around and starts shaking his booty.]
Skinner: I decided to sneak onto the set of the most important television show EVER so I can announce to the world (or atleast those of you who are tuning in) that I have no hair! Weee!
Scully: I'm going to change my name from Dana Katherine Scully to Martha Van Juju-bean!
Jon Stewart: I want to change my name to Martha Van Juju-bean also! But Jesus said that I was the holy child!
[Mo Rocca runs onto the set and does a little dance.]
Mo Rocca: *talking with that adorable lisp of his* My plans are foiled!
Scully: Oh wow, you're cute! *kisses Mo Rocca* Ewww, your dentures came out in my mouth!
Mo Rocca: I wear dentures?
Scully: No! *does the macarena*
Mo Rocca: *twirls around and does a hillbilly dance*
Vance Degeneres: Oh yeah. Move yo boday. Yeah. Rock that boday right.
[Mulder runs onto the screen, does a little dance, then takes Scully into his arms.]
Mulder: She's mine! You guys are evil! Evil, I say! Precious Scully is miiiiine! Mine, I say!
Scully: Bill Gates wears panties!
Mulder: Me too!
Scully: Really? Lemmee see! *takes a look at Mulder's pink frilly panties* Wow, I want a pair like that!
Mulder: Sorry, Oprah gave 'em to me. They're one of a kind.
Jon Stewart: Hey! Stay away from muh Scullay, foo! Scullay, who is this man?
Scully: He's my bitch! *kisses Mulder* Ew, you're dentures came out in my mouth!
Mulder: We've been over this before. I don't wear dentures!
Scully: Pookie! *does happy dance*
[A.D. Kersh suddenly streaks across the screen buck naked shouting, "I LIKE POOOOOOPIE!!!!!!!!"]
Scully: See the softer side of Sears!
Mulder: Okay!
[Mulder and Scully skip away happily to Sears. Everyone else just keeps on shaking their 'thangs. And Skinner gets a sex change.]
Skinner: Man, I feel like a woman!
--FIN!--