It was another late night in the Hub. Everyone else had headed home for some well-earned rest, but Jack sat at his desk, wishing he could relax in a hot shower for a while and then get some solid sleep.
"No rest for the wicked," Jack muttered, trying to refocus on the reports in front of him. Jack was almost startled when Ianto turned up at his office door moments later.
"Thought coffee would be in order for a long night, sir."
"You're a god, Ianto," Jack sighed.
Ianto gave a quick smile of thanks, setting a mug on Jack's desk. He hesitated, half turned to go. "I know this isn't the best time…."
"Ianto, unless you're telling me UNIT is on the phone or at the door, it's a perfect time."
"UNIT is on the phone, sir," Ianto said apologetically.
Jack smirked. "Nice try. Sit."
Ianto cracked a wry smile and accepted the invitation/directive.
"What's on your mind?" Jack asked, more than happy to give Ianto all of his attention.
Ianto concentrated on his own coffee for a long while. "I guess I just wanted to say a proper thanks. I know I've said it before, a number of times, but that was pretty much always sort of in context. So, I just… wanted to give it a moment to just… say it."
Jack smiled. "You know you're welcome, Yan. I'm just glad I could help. I wasn't sure I could." Maybe this would be at least one burden stricken from the everlasting list of Jack Harkness's crimes against humanity (and other life forms).
Ianto sighed. "Why did you, Jack? Why did you try? After what I did…. I know, you usually say it's because you felt responsible, but really, Jack?"
Jack leaned back in his chair and looked out over the quiet Hub, the center of protecting people from creatures they weren't ready to know about. It was nothing like it had been when his grudging association with Torchwood began over a hundred years earlier, and quite different from the Torchwood of even a decade before. Those changes had come with suffering and grief at every step, for all involved.
Jack took a deep breath. "Ianto… what you did, desperately trying to help someone you loved, against all hope and reason… I don't see that as a bad thing. Bad things happened because of it, including some things that shouldn't have been said by both of us, but I don't hold you responsible for those outcomes. You had noble intentions, the likes of which I'm not sure I've ever seen. Certainly not within Torchwood.
"You know this place. You know the sorts of things that have gone on here. I've been around for far too much of those things, and tried my best to make it better. Not always successfully. But I want it to be better." Jack made a vague gesture. "I want to be better. I have done terrible things in my life. All I can ever hope for is to even the score, somehow. I've mentioned the Doctor I keep hoping to find… I want to make things the way he would make them. Well… we have our limits and sometimes I really don't mind putting holes in the ones that are never going to be anything but dangerous. But I digress. That Doctor's not my only role model. I want to be more like you, too."
Ianto sat quiet for a while, not sure how to respond to Jack's… praise. The only thing he could find to say was, "I know the kind of hurt you live with. I've often wished I could be like you – take the pain and still come through with a sparkling grin. I envy your confidence, even if it's not always real. It still looks good. I've sort of come to accept that that just isn't me. I'm not the 'swagger' type."
"I like you the way you are. I think you've got the real strength around here."
"Jack… there's something I wanted to mention. Because I'm not sure what to do about it otherwise, except that it rather involves you, so I'm not sure how fair it is for me to be asking your advice."
"Doesn't matter. I'll tell you what I honestly think."
"Well…," Ianto fidgeted with his coffee. "I may have come close to showing you last time we talked. And I have given it thought, and… I think I kind of fancy you. At least… I've always found you attractive… and more than that… lately, I've…. Right. You turn me on. That's it."
Jack felt a grin starting that would have ordinarily been a bit smug and flirty, but he found it becoming warmer and genuinely happy. It was exactly what he'd been waiting to hear, but he still wasn't going to push too much. "I certainly can't say the feeling isn't mutual. Maybe some time we could… explore that."
Ianto couldn't help the slightly nervous, slightly excited hitch in his breath. "Right…. We should. Some time."
Jack smiled. "How about you tell me when?"
Ianto nodded. "Alright." So, Jack would let him lead this dance in his own time. That alone set Ianto at ease. Now he just needed to find the right opportunity….