Memo from a Teaching Assistant
To: ENG3339 CLASS
From: Seta Soujirou
Subject: 1st Paper
Are you all complete idiots?
You must be. I've seen 3rd graders with better writing ability. Is it truly so difficult to know when to place a semi-colon? Would it be too hard to format according to the directions printed in black and white on the syllabus? Or are you all too lazy and just thinking you can coast through this class because: "who the hell cares about literary criticism?"
Well I do, and as your TA, I've been granted the rights and privileges to grade your papers. And since you're all utter unbelievable screw ups, the only one with a B grade is Sanjou Tsubame and that is because she followed the goddamn directions. Amazing, I know. Thrilling, even.
If you have a C, count yourself as lucky. If you have lower, don't come bitching to me. Really. Don't. If you do I'll be forced to get nasty and if you don't like me now, that is nothing compared to the utter and complete loathing you will feel for me if I have to sit here and read one more whining e-mail.
And don't call me either.
Seta Soujirou