Disclaimer: I don't any Adventure Time characters! And Pen is Katkan-Tan's OC (She is a DeviantArt User!). I only own the story plot.

Valentine's Disappointment:

Brave men walked through the streets, teddy bears and heart-shaped chocolates in their possession for their lovers, or soon-to-be lovers. Thoughts of perfect dates, hugs, kisses, and that certain someone floating about in their mind. Meanwhile, inside of their locked bedroom, women all over AAA got ready for their expected visits. They fluster over the right nail polish color, which dress would be the most appropriate, and what hairstyle should be chosen on this special day. Well, not Fionna The Human. She wasn't like other girls. In fact, she forgot that today was even Valentines Day until she saw men passing by with gifts. Instead of cleaning off any excess of dirt and grime, she's been welcoming it. She has been chopping through trees and kicking dummies since she woke up. After deciding enough was enough, she stepped inside of the house for a bottle of water. An insult was already fired at her.

"Fi, no offense, but you smell like a dumpster," Pen, her oldest sibling, told her. "Do the world and me a favor and hop into the shower."

He resembled her in many ways. From his luscious, soft blonde hair to his bright, blue eyes. He wore a bunny hat like hers, but the ears were shorter and the right ear was pierced twice. The 18-year-old was peacefully reading the town paper until an unflattering stench infiltrated his nose.

"You're such a pansy," Fionna said, sipping down on the last drops of water.

"And you're such a pain in the neck. Your point is?" Pen questioned with a raised brow. "Now go take a shower."

"Alright, alright, I'm going," she replied nonchalantly, tossing the bottle into the bin and exiting the room.

But her head popped back in a few seconds later. "Before I forget to ask, where's Finn?"

"He's in his room, now hurry up and get clean. I think you're causing pollution in here."

"Ha ha, you're so funny I forgot to laugh."

"Bath. Now."

"Fine."

And with that, the indignant 15-year-old girl stomped all they way into her room to retrieve her proper shower necessities, then stalked into the bathroom. The door slammed behind her.

"Finally," Pen sighed with delight. "Peace and quiet."

Just as he opened the newspaper again, a knock was heard.

He growled in annoyance. "Who could it be?"

After setting the newspaper down, Pen walked to the door, calmed down, and opened it. A fire elemental, vampire, and candy life form stood there, carrying their own Valentine gifts.

"Hey, is Fionna home?" Marshall Lee asked coolly.

"She's in the shower," Pen informed flatly. "Come in, but don't make any noise."

"Thank you," Prince Gumball said pleasantly.

"Pen, can you help me with my Valentine pick-up line? Marshall and Bubba says it's lame, so I'm not sure if I should change it or not," FP said innocently.

"Why're you asking Pen to judge it? He doesn't even have a girlfriend," Marshall smirked.

The said man was not amused. "At least my ex didn't trade my most valuable possession for a stupid ghost flower."

Marshall hissed at him. "Bubba helped me get Hambo back, so shut up. And since you obviously don't know anything about Valentine pick-up lines, I'll wow you with mine. Bubba can go next, and FP can be last."

"Why do I have to be the last one?" FP complained.

"Because I said so, now let me concentrate."

The Vampire King took a deep breath, then let it go. His expression was smooth, calm. Pen could already tell this would be a while, so he sat back down at the table, resisting the urge to read the newspaper instead of listening to what might be the lamest pick-up line ever.

"Baby, you're like a wooden stake. Instead of making my heart skip a beat, you make it stop beating for the rest of eternity."

During it, Marshall held a rose to his flirty smile.

Gumball scoffed, shoving him aside. "So cheesy. And what's up with the rose?"

"My sister said it would be romantic."

"Well, let me show you a better pick-up line."

With a big box of heart-shaped candy, Gumball smiled sweetly.

"Everything about you is simply beautiful. You make me want to tie you up and lock you up in a lab while I slowly examine every nook and cranny of your being. One by one."

Pen seemed to be disturbed. "Where'd you get that one?"

The pink man grinned. "I saw it on a horror/romance movie and thought it was unique."

"O...kay. My turn!" FP announced happily.

He schooled his features to a cute smile and wink while he hugged a teddy bear to his chest.

"Let's f*ck."

Marshall and Gumball busted out laughing, holding onto each other for support, but they ended up falling on the floor anyways. Pen heard the bathroom door open, along with another one.

"You like it? I searched it up on the internet, but, to be honest, I didn't search up the definition," FP admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Fionna and Finn walked in. Finn cleaned himself up really well. After foreshadowing about what would happen, Pen shot the trio of idiots a bored expression.

"Yeah. Those sure are some romantic lines an' all, but if you're done testing it out on me, you lovestruck idiots might want to actually say that to Fionna before she gets taken away by another guy. Though I'm sure that 'other guy' would be more suitable for her than any of you nimrods," he said, mumbling out the last sentence as his thumb jabbed itself towards Fionna and Finn.

"H-here, big sis! I know it isn't much, but I saved up my allowance to buy this for you, so..." the 11-year-old flashed her a natural smile while holding up a bag of candy with the both of his hands," be my Valentine?"

Fionna placed a hand over chest, touched. She smiled back and hugged him tightly. "...O-of course I'll be your Valentine, you little...! I'll be your Valentines date every year from now on until you get yourself a proper girl!"

"Yeah!" Finn cheered, hugging her back.

"EH?!" the trio of friends cried at the same time.

Marshall was angered, Gumball was surprised, and FP was disappointed.

"I don't have time for this," Pen said, unentertained. "I've got plans."

With that being said, he took his beloved newspaper and left the room.

OHMYGOSH! I saw the picture for this and instantly squealed of how kawaii it was x3! You guys should go check it out! It's on Katkan-Tan's gallery, under Adventure Time. And if you're reading this, KK-T, I hope you like and thanks for giving me permission to write it. As for those who're reading my other fics, this was just a break away from them. Well, cya guys~~!