Sorry this is a bit late. I meant to post this before Christmas, but I haven't had the time until now. I hope everyone's holiday was great. I own nothing.
&&&&&&
"I'm confused…Why is Christmas with Chuck going to be a disaster this year?" Serena Van der Woodsen asked her best friend Blair Waldorf during their weekly brunch at their favorite restaurant.
Blair Waldorf sighed dramatically. "Because we're having a competition as to who can give the best gift this year."
Serena cocked a perfectly plucked eyebrow. "Oh? And this is a problem considering you two know each other so well because…?"
Blair rolled her eyes and stirred her coffee before saying angrily, "It has to be under fifty dollars, sentimental, and no that sentimentalism does not mean sex."
"So basically you're stealing what Dan and I did." Serena said slowly.
Blair glared at her blonde friend and snapped, "Can we please not make this about your ex-relationships for once? I don't know what to get him." She whined.
Serena sighed, irritated. "Why not if you just get him a gift card to his favorite restaurant and you and him can have a romantic dinner?"
"A gift card? I gift…Card?! Remind me to tell Nate to never ask for you to buy him a sentimental gift."
"What?" Serena asked defensively. "A romantic evening together…How is that not sentimental?"
"Because we do it all the time!" Blair exploded, causing a few nearby patrons to stare at her curiously. "I need to get him something of really special…Like…The best-Christmas-gift-he-could-ever-possibly-get special."
"Well, you could bring back his dead parents, but I think I'd fear for his health." Serena said.
"Ew!" Blair said. "Focus! Be serious!"
"I was."
"URGH!"
&&&&&&
"So, why am I hear again?" Nate asked, as his best friend and billionaire Chuck Bass pulled him through the crowded streets of New York with angry shoppers buzzing past them.
"You used to date Blair. You can have insight." Chuck said over his shoulder.
"Yeah but…"
"…I know you don't know her as well as I do, but it still counts for something."
"Yeah but…"
"…I mean, you're one of her oldest friends after all."
"Yeah but…"
"…And I'm sure as the saying goes 'two heads are better than one', right?"
"Yeah but…"
"…Yeah but what?" Chuck snapped, whirling around to face Nate who was cursed at as a shopper collided headfirst with him.
"Well I," Nate stammered. "Just don't think that I'd have any helpful advice to you. I mean, I'm really not all that sentimental so…"
Chuck grabbed Nate by the lapels of his jacket and hissed, "I…Am…Desperate. Christmas is less than a week away and I have no idea what to get Blair for Christmas!"
Nate frowned. "So why'd you make up the idea in the first place?"
Chuck ground his teeth together. "Because I thought that it would be much easier than this. But it isn't. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to buy her something under fifty dollars?"
Nate blinked and then his face brightened. "I know! Get her an Audrey Hepburn movie!"
Chuck gave Nate a "what-are-you-stupid?" look before saying in fake-joy, "Why by jove! That's a fantastic idea Nate considering she has them all!" He snapped, whipping around again and continuing to push through the sea of shoppers on the streets.
"Hey, this would be a lot easier if you hadn't made it non-sexual." Nate pointed out.
Chuck paused for a brief second before muttering, "Shut up."
"Whoa." Nate said.
"What?" Chuck asked, turning around to see Nate gawking at a purple negligee in the window of Victoria's Secret.
"Hot damn. That is fine." Nate said.
Chuck was practically drooling as he approached the glass. "Yes…It is…"
He was shoved abruptly away from the display window as Nate said, "Non-sexual…Remember?"
"But she'd look so cute in it!" Chuck whined.
"Move!" Nate said, blushing as he made a mental note to come back by himself and pick that up for Serena.
&&&&&&
"I know! How about a card that says "I love you" written around and around in the shape of a heart?" Serena said cheerfully as her and Blair hiked towards the shops from the restaurant.
"How very kindergarten." Blair replied sweetly.
"This would be a lot easier if it was sexual." Serena said defensively.
Blair sighed. "I think Chuck just said it because he wants some reassurance that our relationship doesn't totally revolve around sex…Or something." Blair said, frowning as she wedged herself through two middle-aged women with their arms overflowing with bags.
"Well," Serena said slowly, "You could always get him a beloved toy."
Blair slowly turned around. "You do realize that Chuck was the son of Bart Bass right?"
"Well then maybe you can help him experience the childhood he ever had." Serena said with a grin.
Blair stomped her foot angrily. "Toys can get sexual!" She whined.
"You know Blair, maybe if you didn't have such a dirty mind, this would be easier." Serena said angrily, losing her patience.
"I can't help it! Chuck did this to me! Everything said to me I can somehow turn to sex!" Blair huffed.
Serena sighed exasperatedly and spotted a hot dog stand. She glanced at Blair who was watching some fat guy hungrily devouring a wiener and Serena grabbed her elbow and said, "Gross!" Before dragging Blair off.
&&&&&&
"Get her flowers." Nate said, growing bored as he and Chuck were sitting at a pub, resting.
"I all ready send her a fresh bouquet every Monday." Chuck replied immediately.
Nate gawked at him before saying, "Get her chocolates."
"Blackheads."
"A puppy."
"Not allowed in the apartment or her dorm."
Nate threw his head back and dragged his hands down his face, distorting his facial features. "Why is this so impossible?!"
"Because I'm dating Blair Waldorf." Chuck said.
"Good point." Nate sighed. "I'm trying to think…There has to be something sentimental that Blair doesn't have."
"An American Girl doll." Chuck said immediately.
Nate turned to look at him skeptically. "No way."
Chuck nodded. "She wanted either Kirsten or Samantha, and she asked Santa to get it for her. Instead she got "A Girls' Guide to Perfect Hygiene". That was the year Blair stopped believing in Santa."
Nate brightened. "Well that's perfect then! Get her an American Girl doll!"
"They're one hundred and twenty bucks." Chuck said.
Nate's mouth dropped. "That much for a stupid, creepy looking doll?"
Chuck shrugged. "What can I say? Women think different than men."
"Well yeah. I mean…A G.I. Joe I can see, but an American Girl doll? Come on. Get real."
Chuck glared at Nate. 'You are one huge hypocrite my friend.
"G.I. Joe is not a doll! He's an action figure!" Nate huffed.
Chuck rolled his eyes. "Sure, considering the fact that that he comes from the makers of Barbie."
Nate gasped in what sounded like pathetically genuine horror. "No!"
&&&&&&
"Do you think Chuck would appreciate the effort if you just got him flowers?" Serena asked.
"Not good enough!" Blair snapped. "All Chuck does is give me the very best, and now I have the opportunity to return the favor and I can't find a single stupid gift."
"Why not if you just get him a board game…Like "Monopoly" or "Life" or something. He's never played one, it's not sexual, and he can still experience a childhood memory. Plus they're actually kind of fun." Serena said.
"Noooooo…." Blair said. I need something really, really, really…" Blair trailed off and her eyes lit up. "BUILD-A BEAR!" She shrieked, startling Serena and several shoppers. Blair turned to Serena like a half-crazed lunatic. "I'll go to Build-a-Bear! It's childhood related, I can make the bear myself, and it's sentimental because I put a heart in it and wish for something! It's brilliant!" Blair said, beginning to move towards the red and yellow sign up ahead.
"Um…Blair…Wait…I think it's…"
Blair yanked on the door and looked at it, confused when it didn't open, and pulled again.
"…Shut…Down…"
"Shut down?" Blair asked incredulously. "How the hell can it be shut down? We live in New York where everyone wastes their money! How the fuck can it be closed?!"
"Um…Not…Enough…Business?" Serena asked nervously, backing a couple of steps away from Blair.
Blair threw her head back and screamed up to the sky, "What's it gonna take, huh?!"
&&&&&&
"I can't fucking believe this!" Chuck exploded. "Christmas is tomorrow and I have nothing!" Chuck said into his phone, pacing back and forth, running his fingers through his mussy hair.
"Well, I don't know man, I'd just say go to a pawn shop that sells American Girl dolls and just buy it off for a couple of bucks."
"A pawn shop? What the hell kind of a pawn shop sells American Girl dolls?!" Chuck roared.
Nate sighed exasperatedly. "Fine. What else doesn't Blair have?"
"She has everything except an American Girl doll!" Chuck snapped.
Nate pinched the bridge of his nose. "Then get her the American Girl doll…"
"It goes over the limit unless I want to give her a naked one, but I can't because that takes away from the magic and it's sexual!"
"There has to be something else that Blair doesn't have."
"Grandparents. Do you know where I can buy a pair?" Chuck responded sarcastically.
"Come on Chuck. Think. What does Blair like?"
Chuck sighed exasperatedly. This is such a waste of my time. "She likes Audrey Hepburn, the twenties, Dick Van Dyke, Don Knotts, I Love Lucy, Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry, Pride and Prejudice, Crime and Punishment, Weathering Heights, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Psycho, Stephen King, War of the Worlds, the forties and fifties, fashion, dogs, Dorota, her parents, and me."
There was a long pause before Nate responded with a brilliant "Wow."
"Yeah. So pretty much I either need to buy a time machine, fly her to Hollywood, or buy her all of next season's wardrobe…All of which exceeds the fifty dollar limit."
"Come on man. There has to be something. Like…If you hadn't gone ahead and gotten her flowers every week you could just get her her favorite flower…Roses."
"Dandelions." Chuck corrected him.
"Dandelions aren't flowers. They're weeds."
"Well either way, Blair loves them. She used to tell me when she was little she used to try to preserve them so she could save her wishes, but they always died. Instead, she tried saving a dandelion seed, but it always got lost. Then she tried to grow them, but that didn't work either….Wait."
"What?" Nate asked.
"I have an idea."
&&&&&&
"Well the Build-A-Bear attempt was a fail. I've never seen a store so crowded…Especially Build-A-Bear…In Brooklyn." Blair said in disgust, flopping down on her bed in her room at her penthouse.
"I'm telling you, that "I love you" card is looking better and better." Serena said.
Blair groaned. "I'm completely out of ideas."
"Maybe the problem is that you're thinking too much about the essence of Chuck Bass, maybe you should think of his personality more."
"What the hell does that mean?" Blair asked angrily.
"It means that I think you're thinking a lot about yours and Chuck's sex life. Maybe you should start thinking of his personality and what you find so endearing about it. Maybe an idea will come to you."
Blair rolled her eyes. "How is getting him a teddy bear thinking about our sex life?"
"You could wish for sex on the bear."
Blair closed her eyes, foiled by the fact that her friend managed to know her so well.
"Fine." Blair said through gritted teeth. "Why do I like Chuck Bass? Well, besides the sex he's amazing at life….What else is there?"
Serena rubbed her forehead in exasperation. "What makes him amazing Blair?"
"I don't know." Blair said, flustered, her cheeks turning pink. "He's kind and compassionate, he recently saved an orphanage from closing down and played with the kids…"
"He did?"
"Yeah." Blair said, smiling.
"That's so cute!"
"I know!"
"You should get pregnant! It's free!" Serena said gleefully.
"Sexual."
"Dammit."
"I know. Anyway, um…He's funny. He's a billionaire, and a successful one at that. Um…I caught him watching "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire" last night which cracked me up because he was rapping out the theme song and he knew it by heart, and um…He likes Jim Carey and puts up with my crap, and he's protective and gentle and has never seen a Disney movie…Wait."
"What?"
Blair beamed. "I just got an idea."
&&&&&&
Dooms Day aka Christmas morning
Blair opened her eyes and gasped as white snowflakes fell quietly outside the window of Chuck's apartment. Blair rolled over to see her lover still sleeping.
Grinning evilly she began to bounce up and down on the bed, jostling Chuck awake while shouting, "Wake up! Wake up! It's Christmas! It's Christmas!" She squealed before bursting into giggles, falling on top of Chuck who let out an audible "Oof!"
This caused Blair to laugh even harder and Chuck shook his head, kissing her on the forehead. "You're crazy."
"I know. But that's Reason #973 as to why you love me." Blair said, beaming.
Chuck grinned. "True. Ready to see how well we did?"
Blair winced. "Um…Sure?"
"That doesn't sound reassuring."
"It wasn't mean to be."
&&&&&&
"You want to open them at the same time?" Chuck asked, sitting down beside Blair on the couch where she was clutching her gift, her fingers white-knuckled.
"No!" Blair said quickly, startling Chuck. "I mean…I'd rather have you go first."
"Why?" Chuck asked.
"Because. That's why." Blair said calmly.
Chuck rolled his eyes, but not wanting to start an argument with his girlfriend on Christmas of all things, he took the brightly wrapped gift from her and tore into it."
Blair bit her lip and bent closer to him, as if the present she had picked out wouldn't be there because someone had switched it.
Chuck frowned as he pulled out another brightly wrapped parcel before he tore into that. Blair bit back a wave of hysteria as Chuck pulled out an old book.
Chuck frowned at the blank cover. "What is it?"
"Open it." Blair said.
Chuck gave her a funny look, not understanding how this could possibly be a sentimental gift and read the inside cover which said, "This Diary Belongs To Blair Waldorf."
Chuck's head snapped up in surprise. "What…?"
"It's every entry I have ever made about you from the time I was seven to the time I was eighteen. Flip to the back cover."
Chuck gave her another funny look, but flipped to the back and read, "There's a surprise for you under the couch."
Chuck shook his head in good humor and got on his hands and knees, pulling out a silver frame.
"You don't have a picture of us in your office." Blair said quickly.
Chuck stared at the beautiful black and white of him and Blair. It had been taken over the summer. It was one of the few pictures of them taken fully clothed. The picture was his favorite. In it, his arms were wrapped around Blair's waist from behind, grinning broadly at the camera as Blair's face beamed with laughter.
"Read the inscription." Blair said.
Chuck found it around the frame and read, "Imagination is timeless, imagination has no age and dreams are forever…Like You and I. CB and BW 6-25-09."
"I'm not done yet." Blair said, standing up and coming over with two other wrapped gifts. "Open the bigger one first."
Chuck grinned at her and ripped it open and burst out laughing. "Where the hell did you find this?"
"It wasn't easy." Blair said with a grin.
Blair's gift was yet another picture. This time, it was a picture taken of Blair and Chuck on the front steps of the Met when they were around the age of five. It was another black and white photo of Chuck offering Blair a dandelion. The inscription read, "Some things will never change."
Chuck smiled and turned to the next gift, ripping it open to find a box. He opened it and sitting on top was the Disney movie, "The Lion King."
Chuck shook his head as Blair said, "It was the only movie that sort of matched us. Open the DVD. You'll find a surprise."
Chuck opened the DVD as commanded and his eyes lit up. "Your heart pin." He whispered, lifting the delicate heart out from the DVD.
"So you'll always have my heart on your sleeve." Blair whispered. "I hope I was sentimental enough." She said, blushing.
Chuck laughed. "More than enough Blair. I love this." He said, kissing her on the forehead. "Are you ready for mine?"
Blair nodded and Chuck said, "Mine is in the bedroom."
Blair cocked an eyebrow. "I thought you said we weren't getting sexual."
"We're not." Chuck said, tugging on Blair's arm gently.
Blair followed obediently and gasped. "Chuck!" She said, her eyes welling up. "How did you…?"
"It sucked. Be grateful." Chuck said.
What Blair saw was an incredible. Chuck had made a collage of pressed dandelions, all preserved and had hung it in their bedroom. Beneath each perfect dandelion was a wish….Every single wish Blair had ever asked for from wanting to be a princess, to wanting to find her prince…Every wish was there.
Blair turned around and was being offered a Build-A-Bear, of all things, clutching a dandelion and wearing a hat that read, "Proud Member of the Dandelion Preservation Society."
Blair laughed and hugged the bear close to her chest. "Chuck! I can't believe this! How did you…?"
She stopped as Chuck handed her a long box. "What's this?" She asked, puzzled.
"Open it." Chuck said.
Blair gave him a suspicious look before she ripped open the box.
Chuck said quickly, "I'd like to point out that I did get this for less than fifty dollars…With quite a deal of wheedling. I had to convince them that you were dying to get it at the price I got it at."
Blair frowned at him. "What in God's name did you…?" Blair gasped. "AN AMERICAN GIRL DOLL!" She shrieked. "You got me an American Girl doll! How did you…? You had to tell them…? Ohmygod!" Blair cried, throwing her arms around him. "I can't believe this! Thank you! Thank you so much!"
Chuck shook his head. "Blair, you don't even know which one it is yet."
"Oh. Right." Blair said, opening the lid of the box and pausing. "I have no idea which one this is. Which one is this?"
"It's Chrissa…The aspiring ten-year-old who stands up against bullies and becomes a role model for her entire class." Chuck said proudly.
Blair chuckled. "Trying to say something Bass?"
"Me? Of course not." Chuck said innocently.
Blair smirked. "Good. Because I have one last gift for you to open. I hope this will be your favorite."
"Blair," Chuck began as Blair pulled out a small white box. "All I wanted was to get you a meaningful gift and spend Christmas with you, you didn't have to go all-out like this."
"Oh yeah. Like you didn't go all-out with the dandelions." Blair said, handing the box to him. "Now open it. It's sort of sexual, but not really."
"That makes sense." Chuck said sarcastically, opening the box. He stared at it in disbelief.
Blair clapped her hands together. "Are you excited?"
"…It's pink." Chuck said.
"Yeah." Blair said, beginning to jump up and down a little.
"Which means…"
"….Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh…." Blair said, growing super excited.
"We're…Having…"
"A BABY!" Blair and Chuck exclaimed at the same time, hugging each other.
"Oh my God." Chuck said breathlessly.
"Do you like it?" Blair asked, pulling away from him.
"Well yeah, but I could've gotten maternity clothes instead." Chuck whined and Blair stuck her tongue out at him.
"I love you Chuck."
"I love you too…But I think you might have some competition." Chuck said, stroking her stomach.
"It's a Christmas miracle. You're entitled." Blair joked, kissing him.
"Blair?" Chuck said.
"Yeah?"
"I'm really glad you're my girlfriend."
Blair grinned. "All you had to do was say that, because that to me, Mr. Bass, is the best gift ever."
END
Meh. I could've done better. Hope you enjoyed anyway!
