Author's Note: Continues from the end of Season 3 after Cameron stops by to see Chase, who has recently been fired, on Monday night. This is a one-shot for now; I may continue it depending on interest.
"It happened again," she lamented. The brunette paced across her living room, fidgeting with one hand while the other held the phone. She had made the call after arriving back at home early Tuesday morning.
"What did?"
"I slept with him again. I didn't want him to leave so I went over to his place. And everything I had meant to say didn't quite come out that way. One thing led to the next…" The pacing increased until she realized what she was doing and plopped down onto the couch. She threw her head back and let out a sigh.
"Oh Ally." The voice sounded tinged with disappointment or sympathy. Cameron couldn't tell, but she fervently hoped for the latter while expecting the former knowing her friend was frank with her if nothing else.
"I'm not sure what you want me to say. You called wanted a sympathetic ear but I'm not sure I can give you one with the current situation. I feel bad for the boy honestly."
"You shouldn't. What guy wouldn't be happy about a no-strings relationship?" Cameron defended. She felt a small twinge of remorse as she remembered the look on Chase's face when she had cut him down upon his request of wanting more.
"This one apparently. Look, Ally. I have to say this isn't like you, and your behavior has slowly shifted ever since you started to work for that asshole boss of yours. Ever since I've known you, it's always been about helping other people for you. You had a very selfless view of the world that I admit I particularly admired in you. But now, it's more me-me-me type behavior that I'm seeing from you and frankly it disappoints me."
There was nothing she could say to defend herself as she reflected back to when she first started the fellowship to now. She hadn't thought of Chase's feelings very often as she struggled to bury what was left of her conscientious under House's tutelage.
Cameron looked down at her hands in shame and noticed the bright red nails she had done earlier in the week – a color that she never would have picked before. She wanted to stand out, to be recognized and appreciated. If red nail polish could earn a compliment from House then it would have been worth it. But was approval from a man who was universally loathed really worth sacrificing her core values?
"By the sound of it, you've gone into over-thinking mode." The voice was gentle. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings-"
"No no, it's alright. You're right, as usual." Cameron smiled wryly.
"Well for what it's worth I don't think you're a completely heartless bitch which is what I think you're feeling about yourself at the moment."
The brunette laughed, switching the phone to the other ear. "Thanks a lot."
She could hear the teasing tone come from her old college roommate. "What I mean is I think you've just ignored that selfless part of you, but it still exists. It's just part of who you are and I think that boy can see it too."
"He's older than you, you know," Cameron pointed out.
Emily continued. "I know things will work themselves out. You like this guy and he very obviously likes you. Be careful though please."
"He's not going to break my heart."
"I didn't mean you."
"Oh." Cameron was caught off-guard. Her brows furrowed as she struggled to interpret what Emily had meant.
"Look, just from what you've told me, and from the many similar types of cases I've had in the past, I think he's damaged in some way. You should be careful about how you treat him."
"What do you mean 'damaged?'" That thought had never crossed her mind. Chase was the typical spoiled rich boy used to getting whatever he wanted, everything coming easily to him. House had said Chase had gotten the fellowship because his dad made some phone calls.
"This is just a guess based on what you've told me about this Chase so far. But haven't you ever wondered why you've treated him so poorly yet he still tries to pursue a relationship with you? I'm sure he's seen some of your better qualities, but no healthy individual takes that kind of rejection and scorn from someone and keeps going," she paused, her voice becoming quieter in her next statement. "I think he's used to being treated that way."
Cameron frowned, her eyes crinkling in thought as she remembered all the things she had said to him, and the way he had reacted. He hadn't even paused when she snarled at him, accused him of things she found out he had not done, and hurt him through her continued infatuation with House during their relationship. And if she was completely honest with herself, she had acted cruelly towards him, using him just for sex even when he became more and more attached. Cameron wanted him to react, to lash out at her, to show her that he felt he deserved better than the treatment she gave him. But he never had, and she had not stopped, angry with him for believing he was not worth more. But really, wanting to hurt him because she had been hurt too.
"Thanks for the advice Emily. I actually have to go….do something right now." Cameron had already moved off the couch and towards the door, purse in hand.
"No problem. It was nice hearing from you. Let me know how things work out," Emily said with a smile that could be heard in her voice.
Damn psychologists. "I will. Bye," Cameron promised, hanging up her cell.
Today was not going to be another Tuesday. It was time for new beginnings.
With that thought, Cameron smiled and headed over to pick up breakfast for two. She couldn't wait to see the look on his face.
