"The hell are ya doin' here, flea?" Shizuo struggled to contain his rage, staring fixedly at the nuisance the had decided to make its home on his couch. The blond's eye twitched when he received nothing but a noncommittal shrug in response. Oh, so that's how it was going to be. The bodyguard's blood boiled. He knew that the other was merely trying to rile him up, but he didn't care. It had been a long day, he hadn't eaten since breakfast, and Shizuo was by no means pleased to see Izaya Orihara. Particularly in his apartment.
With long strides, he covered the distance between them, until he stood over the source of his current consternation. "Get out. Now." Shizuo glared angrily, his words met with not so much as a twitch. Izaya seemed entirely at home and relaxed, sprawled out as if he owned the place. Finally, the brunet opened his eyes lazily, meeting the bodyguard's choleric gaze head on. Izaya stretched with a self-satisfied smirk, enjoying the growing ire he could see on Shizuo's face with each second that he delayed.
"Shizu-chan! Is that any way to speak to your wife?" After speaking, Izaya knew that all he had to do was sit back and wait. Shizuo was a ticking time-bomb, ready to go off at any second, and the smug brunet had just lit the fuse. The blond was already spluttering indignantly, and if prior experience meant anything, he was right on the precipice and about to careen towards violence and yelling. While Izaya definitely enjoyed Shizuo's extreme reactions, it was even more fun to throw him off balance.
Just as the blond opened his mouth, fully prepared to launch into a paradigm of pure fury, Izaya stood up and abruptly connected their lips. With Shizuo taken aback as he was, it was a simple matter for the brunet to shove his clever tongue into the other's mouth. It certainly wasn't the first time that they had found themselves in this particular situation, yet that didn't mean that Izaya liked it any less. Shizuo was shocked, yes, but he wasn't unresponsive; automatically kissing back after so much practice with the finer details of the brunet's particular brand of oral communication.
Now that his brain had finally caught up, the bodyguard made an effort to reclaim the territory that Izaya had just invaded, going so far as to attempt an attack on the other's mouth as well. As their tongues fought back and forth and their lips melded together perfectly, Shizuo was forced to reassess his initial interpretation of the situation. Maybe have the flea here wasn't as bad as he had thought... The blond's rather charitable train of thought was cut short when he felt Izaya inexplicably pull away, pressing something into his hand. Shizuo stood, thrown completely off-balance, metaphorically speaking, for the second time in the very short span of five minutes, all due to Izaya Orihara. When he regained some of his faculties, the first action that came to mind was angrily yelling, "what the fuck?" And so that's what he did.
An amused Izaya laughed as he made his way into Shizuo's kitchen, tossing a casual, "you just looked so hungry, Shizu-chan," over his shoulder. Highly aggravated, Shizuo looked down at the now slightly-crushed object in his hand. For all his troubles, it seemed that he had only gotten a Snickers bar. And it wasn't even a decent amount of food, Fun Sized his ass. But he was very hungry, and wouldn't neglecting it out of anger be letting that flea win?
He ate the candy bar.