Fears

by asouldreams

A lifetime of fears push each other into someone else's arms...or perhaps into each others. Picard/Crusher

Fears

Beverly starred into his hazel eyes, measuring the sincerity and truth in his words. Instantly, she felt her pulse quicken as she continued starring into his hazel depths. The look in his eyes made her realize he had spoken the truth. She had lost him. "Married." She choked out.

"Yes." He uttered softly. "Sarah and I are happy and..." He paused momentarily as he gazed into her azure eyes. "We enjoy each other's company."

Beverly bit back every word she wished to say and simply smiled, "Jean-Luc, that's wonderful."

"Thank you." She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. Time ceased as they starred into each other's eyes grasping hands. "I wanted to speak with you before making the announcement public."

"Why?"

Sighing deeply he stood up and began pacing, "Because Beverly, you are my best friend. I wanted your opinion, I want you to be all right with this, and above all else I don't want to ruin our friendship.

"Jean-Luc, I..."

"Valez to Crusher."

"Crusher here."

"Are you alone?"

She glanced at Jean-Luc, pausing momentarily before answering forcing her voice to be uplifting. "Jean-Luc and I were having breakfast. He was just telling me that he and Sarah are going to be married."

"Congratulations, Jean-Luc."

"Thank you, Eric."

"Beverly, I was wondering if you'd meet me for dinner tonight?"

"What time?"

"19:30 all right?"

"Terrific. I'll see you later."

"Love you. Valez out."

Several awkward moments passed before either felt comfortable in the other's presence. Though neither one would admit it, they could both feel a strain developing on the friendship.

Xoxoxox

5 months later

Deanna gazed lovingly at her friends. This would be the last time they would be together for a long time. She couldn't explain the feeling; she just knew it to be true. Worf was stationed on DS9, Geordi was remaining on the Enterprise, Leah Brahms was being reassigned as a consultant, Data was accepting a position as First Officer of the Enterprise, while Will was being promoted Captain, she was staying onboard as Counselor so she and Will could be together. As for the Captain and Beverly, they were both getting married tomorrow and would forever go their separate ways. Their friendship barely surviving the last five months. As they each approached their respective weddings, the strain between them was palpable. Beverly was going to join, her husband, Eric Valez, as his CMO on the Excelsior. Jean-Luc accepted a position as an Ambassador. He and Sarah were going to live in France at his home in Lebarre and then go on First Contact situations. As for Beverly and Jean-Luc's relationship Deanna shook her head sadly as she thought, 'It's ruins lay with each other's and their own fears.'

Xoxoxo

Next Day

The party had just begun, the band eagerly waiting for the two couples to have their first dance. The whispering music floated over the newlyweds as they began to dance to the soft sounds. The crowd joyfully watched the two extra-ordinate couples dance. Both Sarah and Jean-Luc and Beverly and Eric seemed to flow with the music itself. The final note came and an applause erupted.

The four turned to each other. "Congratulations Eric, Beverly." Picard and Sarah smiled warmly.

"Congratulations, Jean-Luc, Sarah."

"Eric, I wondered if you'd permit me a dance with my best friend, your wife."

"Only if I can have a dance with your enchanting wife."

They swapped partners and the band grudgingly delayed their party fervor. Jean-Luc stretched out his arms wrap around her and a familiar warmth spread within her. The two moved as a brief moment they were getting married together.

"Jean-Luc." She said between steps.

"Hmmm."

"I..." Her eyes began to water as she starred into his hazel eyes filled with love and compassion.

"I know." He smiled, "But before it comes to an end, let us enjoy this dance as if..."

Her answer was a smile matching the look in his eyes. And then they both closed their eyes allowing their trust in the other, the music, and years of unrequited love to guide them. Within seconds Eric and Sarah stepped off the floor and watched Beverly and Jean-Luc dance. They appeared as though they were holographs from the Victorian era. Their footwork never missing a beat despite the complexity and elegance of their dance.

With the final note Picard dipped Beverly low holding her there effortlessly. The crowd erupted with applause bringing both back to reality. Slowly Picard raised her back up to him, "Thank you for the dance, Jean-Luc."

A warm smile in his hazel eyes appeared as he spoke. "No, thank you." They embraced for a moment, "Beverly if you ever need anything, call."

"Please keep in touch Jean-Luc." Beverly forced the tears away as she stepped from his warm, loving arms and out of his life.

Xoxoxo

Ten years later…

Beverly stepped into ten forward glancing around for Eric, since they were suppose to meet half an hour ago at their guest quarters. She had been delayed, so she sent him a message stating she would just meet him at the party. A tall powerful figure strode toward her with a broad smile, "Will." They gave each other a warm hug, "It's been too long. You look good."

Will pulled back enough to admire his friend. She was still the picture of beauty. Her flowing red hair beginning to grey slightly was pulled off her neck accentuating her sapphire dress. "You look gorgeous. Come on, Deanna is talking with the others." Beverly was about to say she was waiting for Eric, however, the chance never arose as Will drug her behind him through the throng of people. "By the way," He hollered back, "Eric said he'd be here in another twenty minutes or so."

When they reached the table, hugs and hello's were exchanged. Beverly quickly noted Jean-Luc and Sarah were not among the present as she took her seat. "Is Jean-Luc coming?" Beverly tried not to sound too hopeful.

"Yes," Worf chimed in, "I spoke with him a few days ago and he said he was being sent on a fool's errand. He didn't know how long it would take."

"He said he'd be here. He is after all part of the reason we are all gathered here this evening. It is both yours and his 10th wedding anniversary, and we haven't all been together since then."

"Beverly, if I may inquire, perhaps you can answer a question which has been puzzling me." Data inquired, peeking everyone's interest. Few things puzzled their friend, but the look on his face showed his perplextion.

"Yes, Data."

"You and Captain, Ambassador Picard have been friends for almost forty years, and for the past ten years it has been my observation that you two no longer keep in touch. When one of you attends a gathering of the old staff, the other is always missing. Granted each of you have an infallible excuse, however, after ten years I believe it far from coincidental. You both seem to be going out of your way to avoid the other, and yet when you come into contact with myself and perhaps the others you ask about the Ambassador and he about you."

Silence gripped the table as Data brought up a question that everyone wished to know, however, no one dared to ask.

Beverly's sigh could be heard throughout the table and a solemn, regretful expression came over her face. "I," She forced a shaky smile on to her face as she tried to look each of her friends in their eyes. "I don't know what happened. We are still friends and will always be, despite our lack of communication. I know I can count on him and if I ever need anything he will do everything within his power to help. However, to answer your question Data, the only answer I can give is we drifted apart. It was unintentional, but it happened. When I ask you about Jean-Luc, it is because despite our lack of communication I still care about him and you, all of you." She smiled sadly, "Hear from him. I suppose each of you represent a link that I still have to him and vice versa."

Silence gripped the table for several minutes as each person absorbed what Beverly stated. Beverly found herself thinking about Jean-Luc and wondering if he still looked the same or had the stress of diplomacy aged him faster? Did he think of her when he was lost in thought like she thought of him? Did he miss their morning breakfasts and occasional dinners? Every day she found herself missing his warm hazel eyes which seemed to look into her soul, his richly accented voice, and his strong presence.

She turned her head toward the doors as Eric stepped through into Ten Forward. His warm smile and loving eyes caught her attention from across the room, and for the briefest of moments she thought of her loving husband. Over the next couple of hours they shared stories of recent adventures and near disasters. Data was sharing a story about an incident at the Academy when the doors parted to admit Ambassador Jean-Luc Picard and his wife Sarah. The decibel level in the entire room became almost non-existent. Few had seen the Great Jean-Luc Picard recently due to his Starfleet obligations and the desire for privacy in his personal life. He was a walking legend who recently earned another reputation for being able to bring any argument to a truce, not matter the danger or the disbelievers.

Beverly watched as the couple slowly made their way toward their table. As he approached she noticed he now had a light beard, giving his persona a domineering and quite sexy effect. She vaguely wondered what it would be like to kiss him with a beard. His eyes were filled a gleam, face relaxed, and as he stepped clear into view she immediately noticed the cane in his left arm. She felt her heart plummet. Beverly watched him walk the last few steps with her practiced medical eye, in hopes to determine what was causing him to use a walking cane. His limp was slight but noticeable, and as she raised her eyes his were starring at her.

"Jean-Luc, Sarah." Will stood up, embracing both with a hug. "Problems getting away?"

Sarah's expression was enough to make everyone laugh, "No. Not at all." She said between hugs. Both Jean-Luc and Sarah finally joined the table.

Will pointed to the cane as Jean-Luc gently laid it down, "That's a new addition since I saw you six weeks ago at the Brangi briefing."

Sarah turned to her husband, gently entwining their hands; she smiled warmly at him before turning to his friends and relaying the events which caused his injuries. "While on Regean III an attempt was made on my life. A factious group thought if they killed the ambassadorial group, peace would not ensue. They managed to kill three ambassadors and the remaining three of us were able to fight off our attackers, however, the cost was severe. Thro, Regean III's ambassador, no longer has the use of his right arm nor any vision in his left eye. Sunai, Tuniva's Ambassador, she is paralyzed from the waist down. Originally it was thought I came out unscathed, however, I fear I have the worst of the injuries. When I pursued the leader of the group I was exposed to a bio-toxin which now lives in my immune system eating calcium from my bones. Starfleet Medical estimates that I have three years."

Stunned silence gripped the table, and Beverly simply starred at Jean-Luc. Feeling her eyes on him, he turned until he caught her azure eyes in his own. For the briefest of moments the years vanished as well as their surroundings, it was only the two of them. He could see the heartache and pain flash over her eyes, and as she began to look away he saw the love hidden behind the tears which threatened to spill out of her eyes.

"Jean-Luc..." He held up his hand as he tore his eyes away from Beverly. "I didn't come all this way to damper the mood of the party, but I thought I should inform each of you before you found out from other sources. Now, it's not like I'm going to die tomorrow, and frankly I'm hoping a cure will be found. Besides," He picked up his glass, "I came all this way because I wished to see my 'family' and today is a special occasion. Ten years ago I married my beautiful wife Sarah, and my best friend married the dashing Eric Valez." Picard stood and glanced at Eric and Beverly. "Best wishes for another ten years and Happy Anniversary." He lifted Sarah up and music began to play. "If I'm not mistaken this is our song." Sarah smiled and followed Jean-Luc to the center of the floor which spread apart for the couple as they began to dance to a song played ten years ago at their wedding. Shortly after them Eric and Beverly were dancing beside them.

"Jean-Luc," Sarah whispered into his ear, "Are you sure you should be dancing?"

In answer to her question he swept her around the dance floor as if time had reversed and they were dancing on their wedding night.

Before long the night drew to a close as the clocks struck into the early morning hours. The group began to break apart saying their farewells knowing that tomorrow brings a new day and responsibilities.

"Will, Deanna, Eric, Beverly it was good to see you all again. Will, Deanna, we'll see you soon. Eric, Beverly, don't be strangers." Sarah said as Jean-Luc came back from his Starfleet communiqué. "I'm afraid I'll have to cancel our poker game next week Will, I'll be elsewhere." Jean-Luc clasped Will's hand and gave Deanna a hug. "See you two soon."

"Good-bye Jean-Luc, Sarah." Will and Deanna left, leaving the two couples.

"Eric, when does the Excelsior venture into Sector 591.3?"

"Two days. We are having our engines overhauled at Starbase 211."

"Best of luck. I hope we can see you two in the future. Take care." He shook Eric's hand and gave Beverly a hug. Beverly closed her eyes as his arms encircled her waist, wishing this could last forever instead of the few seconds it did. Eric and Sarah both stepped away sensing the two needed a little space.

"Take care of yourself Jean-Luc."

"You too."

xoxoxox

"Beverly, where are you going?" Eric asked through his pillow.

Beverly grabbed her robe off the end of the bed, "I can't sleep, and I don't want to keep you up again."

He mumbled a thank you as he fell back asleep. Beverly glanced around her quarters feeling trapped, without a second thought she changed clothes and left to get some air. She had no idea where she was going, and before long she found herself at Transporter room two. The ensign looked surprised to see her.

"Doctor Valez, I..."

"Ensign, I'd like to beam down to the planet."

"Yes, sir. Where to?

"Keirn."

"Are you meeting Ambassador Picard, sir?"

"No, why?"

The ensign stammered, "Because he beamed down to Keirn less than an hour ago."

Beverly stepped up to the transporter, "I'm afraid not Ensign, I just couldn't sleep. Proceed."

The blue shimmer of the transporter faded away, to be replaced with a beautiful city. The city itself looked to be taken out of the 16th century England architecture. Dawn was approaching and Beverly found herself wandering around the deserted streets looking at the simple beauty. Slowly the sun rose and the villagers with it. The streets steadily became busier and Beverly headed for a small ship for breakfast. Crossing the street she felt a familiar sensation as she neared the coffee shop. She glanced up wondering why she was getting the strange feeling only to see a pair of surprised hazel eyes. He stood as she finished crossing the street. He was in a pair of skin tight kaki pants, with black riding boots, a teal shirt open to his navel, and the first rays of sunlight shinning off his tan skin.

"Beverly, I...this is a surprise."

"I couldn't sleep and came planet-side in hopes of some fresh air."

"I couldn't sleep either, and I didn't want to keep Sarah up again."

"I thought I was the only one with that problem."

"Care to join me for breakfast?" Jean-Luc asked, silently praying she would say yes.

"I..." Beverly paused for a moment, however, her heart replied before her mind had a chance to speak. "I'd love to."

"Ahh, I see a lady friend has joined you. Are you ready to order or does the lady need a few moments?"

"I'm ready." Beverly replied.

"Wonderful, sir?"

"Coffee and croissant."

"Madame."

"Coffee and croissant." Picard and Beverly looked at each other realizing how little the other had changed and just laughed. The awkwardness suddenly gone, the two spent the morning playing catch up on each other's latest projects and adventures. Neither realized exactly how much time had passed until Eric called Beverly. She apologized saying that she had lost track of time with Jean-Luc. She gave a brief explanation and said she be up within the hour. Picard made a call to Sarah echoing the same words as Beverly.

They walked side by side down Keirn's streets, simply enjoying the other's company. Beverly noticed Picard's limp was progressively worsening, "Is your leg bothering you?"

"No, it just feels as though it is falling asleep."

Her eyes began to water; Jean-Luc stopped and turned to her. "Don't." His words were as soft as his touch as he wiped the tear away. "It's not worth it."

"I don't think I can watch you die." Her words floated across the breeze.

"Everyone dies, it's just a question of when."

She nodded and began walking, hoping to stifle the tears as she did. "Have you ever wondered what our lives would be like if..." Beverly almost stopped, but she forced herself to continue. "If we hadn't let our fears push each other away?"

His voice danced on the air in which they breathed, "Not a moment passes when I don't think of it. At first I thought my love would diminish, however, our separation has only strengthened it. Every time the doors opened to my ready room, the bridge, or even my quarters I half expected to see you. I wanted to see you. Now I..." They both slowed to a stop as he reached up his hand running it softly down her face. "Try to touch you from a distance."

Beverly's lower lip began to quiver, "Jean-Luc I think about you when I stare into space, when I am sitting in my office I expect you to stroll through the door to say hello or ask if I could sneak away for an impromptu lunch."

Before she could say another word, he pulled her to him holding her tight. "I guess I just wanted to tell you that I love you, I always have and I'm not afraid to say it anymore."

"I hope you know that I love you, but if you didn't know that I do." She whispered into his ear.

"Captain Valez to Doctor Valez."

Jean-Luc and Beverly pulled apart, "Valez here."

"I am sorry, but I have to cut your visit short with Jean-Luc. I must get back to Starbase 212 by this evening. We must depart within the hour."

Azure eyes latched onto hazel ones, "I'll be back shortly. Valez out."

"I don't want to go." Beverly mumbled into his shoulder.

Picard pulled her tight to him, "And I don't want to let you go."

"Why?! Why did we both marry other people?"

"Because," He pushed her far enough away to gaze into her eyes. "Neither of us wanted a commitment."

"I feel as though I've made the worst mistake in my life. I had numerous opportunities to tell you how I felt."

"As did I."

Faint echoes of music wafted down the street, Picard began to dance, Beverly joining in. His arms encircling her, pulling her closer to him, until no space was left between them. Each step they took was perfectly in tune with each other and the music, and every step was a fight against their personal demons. The music began to die away and Beverly and Jean-Luc continued dancing for several minutes until they did nothing more than sway back and forth. Beverly turned to say something to Jean-Luc, the words dying in her throat as she leaned over to kiss Jean-Luc. The kiss which began tentative, quickly turned passionate. Arms bringing each other crushingly closer, attempting to become one despite the barriers.

They both broke apart instantly, realizing that if they continued they wouldn't stop. Tears stung her azure eyes, threatening to spill over as she starred into his beautiful hazel ones. "I'm sorry Jean-Luc. I never meant..."

"Nor did I."

She smiled sadly, "Do you ever regret the decisions you've made?"

"Q gave me the unique opportunity to change part of my life, and witness the consequences of those decisions. He made me realize that the decisions you make or have made make you who you are. Though, I do have one regret." He gently picked up her hand, placing it in his as he gazed into her tear stricken eyes. "You."

"And I regret everyday I am not with you." She shook her head as she pulled her hand from his. "Jean-Luc," He went to interrupt, "Please, let me finish with what I want to say." He nodded as she continued. "I miss our conversations, our dinners, even our arguments, I suppose I just miss my best friend. Not a moment passes when I don't miss you. I love you with all of my heart, and yet I'll always have to love you from afar."

"Beverly." Jean-Luc took a step forward gently enveloping her hands in his own when a jolt ran through him, and then another, another, and another...

Xoxoxo

"Jean-Luc, your father will have your head if you don't get home soon." Jean-Luc blinked a few moments until he was awake enough to see his friend Louise standing over him. He was lying on the ground under a large maple tree, feeling completely disoriented. Louise's hands grabbed Jean-Luc's shirt and started shaking him again. Without thinking, Picard flipped Louis on his back, shocking them both.

"Jean-Luc?"

"Louis, I need you to listen to me for a moment." Jean-Luc sat up and turned to his friend.

Louis grunted as he sat up, "Sure, what now."

"I..." Jean-Luc Picard paused as he starred at his friend a moment, for the first time realizing that Louis was only seventeen. He ran a hand up through his hair. His hair. He whipped his head around, taking everything in as if truly seeing it for the first time since he awoke.

"Jean-Luc, are you all right?"

He turned back to his childhood friend, "Yes, I am fine. Louis, I have to talk to you about something that just happened to me."

"What..."

"Louis, I..." He began to explain his dream, and the life he saw in that dream. The most vivid part of his dream was about a beautiful woman, an angel. He tried to tell Louis about it, but everything was fading so fast. Within the hour the last visages of the dream faded away, until he could only remember a few things from his dream. He became a prominent Starfleet Captain, had a loyal crew, encountered a being known as Q, and the part of the dream remaining crystal clear was a woman who held his heart. She had flaming red hair with a temper to match. She was his equal. He couldn't remember her name, but he could remember she was beautiful beyond compare. Age never seemed to affect her, she remained forever beautiful.

Xoxoxo

12 years later...

Beverly entered Maury's, and immediately headed for the back of the bar where she was suppose to meet Janet and Kathryn. They saw her and waved. "Hi. Hope you two haven't been waiting long." She said as she slid into the booth.

"Nope, Kathryn had to stop by command for her commission or something like that."

"Congratulations! Where are you being assigned?" Beverly leaned over giving her friend a hug.

"On the Excelsior."

"This calls for a celebration."

A few hours and several drinks later, they were in a serious debate about the ramifications of the Prime Directive. Their debate had incorporated the neighboring table, three newly commissioned gentlemen who were all ensigns aspiring to be captains. Kathryn was agreeing with their side of the debate, while Janet and Beverly argued against the directive; command versus medical.

Beverly was in the middle of arguing her point about how unjust it is to leave an entire species dying because of the prime directive, when she felt a strange sensation almost a prickling against her skin. She stopped in the middle of her sentence, as she glanced around the bar.

"Beverly, are you all right?"

Beverly turned her attention to Janet and when the sensation returned. It seemed familiar, she turned her gaze to the door to see a pair of rich hazel eyes starring in her direction. She couldn't help this strange feeling from spreading throughout her, nor the fact that she felt as though she knew this man. He was with two other men, as they headed for the bar she noticed he was about ten years her senior. Although, she thought as she watched him walk, he appeared to be in perfect condition. His black pants appeared to be painted on, and...

"Bev?"

"Huh?" Beverly jerked her attention back to the table.

"So," Janet glanced to the bar, "Who had your undivided attention?"

Xoxoxo

Picard laughed at Jack's absurd joke, hoping it was funny since he stopped paying attention after the first sentence. Whenever Jack and Walker were glancing the other way, Jean-Luc found his gaze straying toward a table about fifty feet away and the beautiful woman whom sat there. She had fiery red hair, azure eyes, and ivory skin. He would not deny that her beauty caught his attention, however, there was something else which held him spellbound. He felt as though he knew the woman, from where he couldn't place.

"Jean-Luc, are you..."

"No. Somebody has our friend's undivided attention this evening." Walker glanced around the bar in attempts to determine who, "Who is she?"

Picard was about to answer when his communicator chirped, "A mystery, gentlemen. A beautiful mystery." He smiled as he stood, "Have a good evening, Walker, Jack."

Xoxoxo

One year later...

"Jean-Luc, are you coming?"

Picard glanced up from reading the computer padd in his hand. "Going where? I apologize Walker, but I seemed to have zoned out. What were you saying?"

Walker walked over, grasped Jean-Luc's arm, "We are going to meet Jack. He has been dying for us to meet the woman he has been dating."

"Ah, yes, I believe her name is Beverly."

Jean-Luc and Walker was half way through his fourth drink when Jack arrived.

"Where is..." Picard's question remained unasked as Beverly stepped into the room. She was the same woman from the bar about a year ago. Her beautiful ivory skin, long auburn hair, and clear azure eyes belonged to the woman who had plagued his dreams since childhood.

Xoxoxo

Beverly could not help but to stare at Jack's friend, Jean-Luc. He was the man from the bar last year. She couldn't explain it then, and she definitely couldn't explain t now. There was something about him, which made him seem familiar. His eyes were starring into hers and she felt as though he was looking into her soul.

Jack noticed how Jean-Luc and Beverly were starring at each other, "Do you two already know each other?"

"No, we've never met." Beverly honestly replied.

A few more awkward moments continued, until Picard was able to speak. "I apologize for my behavior Miss Howard, but you remind me of someone."

"As do you."

The remainder of the night passed quickly, with no further moments of awkwardness. A year later, Picard was in a life threatening accident. The doctors were concerned about possible brain damage. When Picard became conscious there was no sign of brain damage or memory loss. After that fateful day, he never dreamt nor remembered about the future time line he saw. The friendship between Picard and Beverly steadily grew. Years passed by with repressed feelings and unspoken words between them.

Xoxoxo

Twenty five years later…

Picard jerked awake with a start.

"Jean-Luc," He felt a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "Don't move."

"Who..."

"Shhh....Jean-Luc, it's me. Beverly. Please, try not to move."

Picard's eye sight slowly came into focus, and he saw Beverly's face filled with concern. He tried to sit up, but Beverly 's hand prevented it.

"Jean-Luc, please try not to move too much."

"I'll be all right, Beverly." He tried to smile, but winced in pain from the slight movement. The outside world seemed to slow down around him as his vision began to blur. The shapes around him changed to that of his youth. Through a penetrable haze he saw himself speaking animatedly with his long time friend Louis. Picard noticed the scene was taking place under an extremely large tree. Suddenly the picture changed, to be replaced by quick flashes of him in the near future. He saw a duel marriage, Beverly and he were getting married to someone else. Then he saw himself walking into Ten Forward with his 'wife,' heading toward his friends. Abruptly the thong of people vanished and he was walking or rather limping beside Beverly. They began dancing in a deserted alley to some lost music from each other's souls.

"Jean-Luc."

The scene before Picard crumbled, and he was once again in Sickbay. Beverly was barking orders to her staff about him. He paid no attention, his mind was reeling with the images he saw. They reminded him of a vivid dream from his youth. Not just a dream his consciousness screamed, something far more. He could not focus his thoughts, his mind kept jumping around until his eyes became heavy with fatigue.

Xoxoxo

The lights were dimmed and few of her staff remained in Sickbay. As she walked toward Picard's bed, she automatically glanced at his vitals. They were remaining stable. Tiredly she pulled up a chair next to Picard's bed and sat down. She was exhausted from the chaos of today. The day had started off like any other. She and Jean-Luc had breakfast and were in the middle of a debate pertaining to an incident at Kirshan 3 when Riker called him to the bridge. Within a few minutes the red alert sirens blared and the decks shook beneath her feet. Beverly and her staff were instantly receiving injuries, and Beverly heard from the officers being treated that they were being attacked by a small Dominion fleet. The Enterprise was, after all, Starfleet's flagship. After the initial deck shuttering, they became less, as if the Enterprise was either retreating or forcing the Dominions retreat.

Suddenly the walls shuddered, and the Enterprise groaned as she flew sideways. Beverly flew into a bed before the ship regained control, and then the call came.

"Riker to Crusher."

"Crusher here." She muttered in response.

"I need you and your team up here, now! Data, engage pattern Omega 8 Delta 2."

"On my way. Crusher out." Beverly grabbed her medical kit and signaled Alyssa and Gomez to follow her. They were halfway to the bridge when the deck propelled them forward. Crusher picked herself up off the floor and marched to the turbolift. The doors opened onto the bridge, Crusher was appalled. The bridge was in ruins. Smoke was emanating from three of the science stations, debris littered the floor, and a large beam lay across the captain's chair and the tactical station. Crusher's heart dropped to her stomach as she looked at the beam. She forced herself to move onto the bridge, her feet becoming lead with each step. Dreading seeing her best friend under the titanium beam, dead.

"Mr. LaForge, get the reactors on line." Crusher's head whipped around to see Jean-Luc standing beside Data, her heart momentarily soared. She noticed Riker had a large gash down his right arm and a bruise on his forehead. Ensign Sanders and Norsh were both dead, and Lieutenant Bock lay unconscious by tactical. Troi was navigating the ship; she had a few minor scraps on both her arms and hands. Beverly took a step toward Bock but stopped as Jean-Luc turned around. Blood oozed down the right side of his face, his right arm hung at his side, and the right side of his uniform was saturated with blood.

"Captain, we don't have the man power."

"Then dump the core."

"Sir?" Geordie asked over the intercom wondering if had heard correctly.

"Captain?" Riker wondered if his captain and friend was thinking clearly after he had been hit.

Beverly wondered at Picard's logic but trusted him. She directed Alyssa and Gomez to see to Bock and she walked to Picard.

"Dump the core. That is an order Mr. LaForge." Picard's commanding voice gave the assurance needed by the crew that Picard may have been injured, but he was still coherent.

"Aye sir."

Picard turned his head back to the viewscreen. The last two Jem Hadar ships were closing in on them from either side. "Data, I need you..." He paused as the pain threatened to consume him, however, he forced it aside. "To allow me." Data instantly stood from the chair, and Picard sat down.

"Riker target the core and fire a photon and then lay a spread of them immediately thereafter at 3902 mark 3. On my mark."

"Aye sir."

Picard's left hand flew over the controls as the vessels bombarded the Enterprise with phasers and torpedoes. The ship rocked repeatedly, "Captain, whatever you are going to do, make it fast. The shields are down to 18 percent."

"Will, now!" A single photon headed toward the drifting warp core and instantly a spread of torpedoes flew just to the left of the core. Picard touched a few keys, and the Enterprise began turning away from the core, and into the enemy using the thrusters. Suddenly a bright light flashed and the Enterprise was briefly propelled forward at a blinding speed before jerking to a stop.

Picard felt his body be thrown forward as he slammed into the counsel. He forced himself back into a sitting position, fighting off a wave of nausea and unconsciousness. He glanced at the viewscreen in time to see both of the Dominion ships be destroyed.

"Brilliant, sir." Data stated in awe, with a new appreciation of his captain. "You ejected the warp core away from the enemy, not permitting them to see what you were doing. Meantime, you had LaForge boost the deflector dish and the front shields, allowing the Enterprise to withstand more direct blows by the Dominion vessels. You then caught the reactor in a tractor beam for less than a second, making it drift toward the Dominion ships behind the Enterprise. You had Riker fire at the core, while you began to use the thrusters to maneuver through the two ships. The spread of torpedoes caused the explosion to encompass both ships, by magnifying the blast of the core. The blast propelled us forward and didn't destroy us due to some modifications you made."

"Thank you Mr. Data." Picard pushed himself off of the chair, and if were not for Data's reflexes, Picard would have fallen. Data wrapped his arm around the Captain to support him as Crusher pulled the tricorder out and began to assess his damage.

Crusher began to read the tricorder and could not help the small gasp slip out of her mouth. Jean-Luc was close to death, he was suffering from serious internal bleeding along his entire right side. Without thinking she pressed a hypo into Jean-Luc's neck to help with the pain and slow the bleeding.

"Captain, you are in serious need of medical attention."

"Doctor, I was on my way to visit you." Picard replied with effort. Data wrapped his arm tighter around the Captain as they made their way toward sickbay. The closer they approached, the more Data supported the captain. He was barely remaining conscious.

xoxoxox

Beverly tiredly pushed away a lock of hair; this was the first she had rested since the skirmish. Her hand fondly rubbed his shoulder and before she could stop herself, she found her hand moving up to the caress of his cheek. Why did she always push this man away? There was a time when it wasn't so complicated, what happened? I started seeing Jack, she thought wryly, because she didn't see Jean-Luc for almost a year after the night in the bar. Over and over Beverly replayed that night until she drifted off to sleep.

Xoxoxo

Picard woke to a constant pressure on his right hand. He forced himself awake to see Beverly asleep in a chair. Her head was on the edge of the bed, and her hand entwined with his. He took a moment to look at her porcelain face, she was an angel. She had always been with him, as far as he could remember she was there. Suddenly he had a flashback and he saw his future. A future he already lived, one without Beverly in it.

Instantly he jerked back to the present when he heard Beverly move to get up.

"How are you feeling?" She asked while sitting up straight.

"Like a beam fell on me." Picard croaked out with a smile.

"Any pain?"

"Yes, but I am alright."

"Let me get you a hypo..."

"Beverly, wait," He reached out and lightly grabbed her arm, "I need to talk to you."

She turned around, "Let me get you a hypo first."

"No, Beverly. Please sit down." She started to sit down, and he forced himself into a sitting position. Beverly went to say something when he sat up, but his expression stopped her. "This isn't the place I wanted to tell you, but it'll do." He took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a moment and found the strength he needed to tell her. "Before I entered into Starfleet I had what I thought was a dream. It wasn't."

Beverly was intrigued. She wondered what could possibly cause this type of reaction in Jean-Luc, especially something that happened forty plus years ago.

"Within the next few years, we both are married." He paused momentarily, forcing himself to continue. "To separate people. And we drift apart."

"Why? What happens..?"

"Our relationship becomes strained, and even though neither of us wished to drift apart, we do. You go with your husband, and become the CMO onboard the Excelsior. I moved back to France and become a first contact Ambassador. We saw our friends sparingly, and unintentionally avoided each other. We met after our tenth anniversary and both realized how wrong our decisions were. Although despite wishing with every breath to be with the other, neither of us were willing to divorce our spouses whom we loved. We were about to beam aboard our respective ships when I found myself under a large maple tree. I was sixteen, right before I became serious about Starfleet. When I first awoke the one thing I remembered the most was a beautiful angel. You.

"I am reliving my life. I saw you years later in a bar, you had me mesmerized. I had to leave due to an emergency at Command, and you stayed with me everyday. I saw you when Jack introduced us. I felt I had known you all my life. Then I had the accident a year later, and everything changed. I cared about you, but the depths of my feelings became buried in my unconscious. Slowly it resurfaced, I loved my best friend's wife. Jack died, and I felt too guilty to pursue any relationship. Now, you are my best friend. I can't imagine my life without you in it. But the accident which almost cost me my life, may actually have saved it.

"I remember my, our future. I don't want to live without you. I don't want to marry the wrong person. I was given a second chance, one which has been squandered until now."

Beverly stood, and stepped up to the bed, and placed a finger on his lips. "Our lives became intertwined the moment I saw you across the bar and since then quite complicated. I'm tired of fighting our feelings. I don't want to lose my best friend, especially to my fears."

Beverly's words were cut off as Jean-Luc's lips lightly brushed hers. "I won't let that happen because I love you." He whispered into her lips.

"I love you too."

Xoxoxo

Two months later...

Will Riker glanced toward the newly married couple, and felt his grin become broader. And why shouldn't my grin get any larger, he thought. They swirled around the dance floor, eyes solely on each other. They moved on the dance floor as if they were reading the other's mind, perhaps they were. Their movements flawless, and their footwork perfect. The last few strands of music sailed through the air, Jean-Luc twirled Beverly around before merely swaying back and forth to the end of the song. Jean-Luc and Beverly finally put there past to rest and began to live in the present, their present.

Xoxoxo

A/N: The relationship that piqued my interest enough to start writing…