A/N: Just for all of your information, this is going to be waaaay AU. I don't think Kuwabara or Yusuke would EVER want to have the jobs that they have here, so I'll try to make up some kind of an excuse for them… I guess… Even with that, it'll probably still be kinda OOC, but I'll try to make that as unnoticeable as possible. I'll try really, really hard, okay? Don't hurt me for something I haven't even done yet!! You don't even know what kind of jobs they have yet, okay?! GOD!! (insert minor freakout scene here)
"No. Way. There is ABSOLUTELY no way we can do this! No way, Botan! We can't pull this off!" Yusuke Urameshi was being his normal, pessimistic self, his best friend Kuwabara at his side.
"Yeah, I mean, how are we supposed to memorize all of this stuff anyway? All this Buddhist stuff, and I ain't even got a religion!" Kuwabara agreed.
"Seriously, Botan, we are NOT going to be able to memorize all of this when we can't get above a 50 on a science test without studying for days! And all this crap here about 'Life is suffering', and 'right thinking, right actions, right blah blah blah'? I really don't think that's me, do you??"
"All right, all right, I get it!" the blue-haired Botan squeaked over the case file. "But then who'll catch this demon who's killing all the monks?"
"Just because you're our secretary and a lot older than us doesn't mean you get to boss us around, you dope! We still own the headhunting business, and we can fire you whenever we feel like! Make your stupid 'informants' find a better run! He can do it, he owns a friggin' library of all the friggin' demons!" Yusuke said loudly.
Kuwabara punched him in the back of the head. "URAMESHI, BE NICE TO THE WOMAN! Anyway Botan, he's got a point. We really can't memorize all of this stuff and be able to go undercover as Buddhist monks. Can't Koenma find anything easier? It's too hard!"
"Well, then, I guess we can all go hungry and starve, because this is the only job that my informants could find! We're broke, and you need to get us some money so we can eat!" Botan yelled.
And that was how Yusuke and Kuwabara took on the life of the Buddhist monk.
"I—hate—it—when—Botan—does—this—to—us," Yusuke growled. "It's always, 'We can't eat', or 'We need more money' with her! God, I wish I could just—"
"Urameshi, shut up and act humble, if you can! We're coming up on the place! And remember this time, we're supposed to be following Buddhism, not Confucianism!"
"I got it!" Yusuke and Kuwabara bowed their heads and tried very hard to look monk-ish. They arrived at the main gate of the monastery; it was much bigger than it looked from where they were before. "Uh… How do you suppose we knock? I don't see no knockers here?"
"Walk in?" Kuwabara suggested. The pair started forward when the door opened of its own accord. The two were greeted by a smiling bald man in orange robes. He opened his arms to them.
"Welcome, newcomers," he began. "I was told we would be getting new arrivals today. You two are to be the new apprentices, yes?"
Yusuke and Kuwabara had to quickly wipe the stupid, blank looks off of their faces before replying a hasty yes.
"Good. I will show you around to monastery then. Follow me, if you please," the monk said. He was very old, and had a mellow, wheezy voice. He led them into the inner courtyard, where other monks were meditating, reading scriptures, or doing other… monk things.
"This is the courtyard," the monk started, "and it is the center of the abbey. If you get lost here, you can find your way back here by following any of the pathways toward that tree right there." He pointed to an enormous tree in the middle of the stone courtyard. "That will be your guidepoint, both physically and spiritually. The schoolhouse is to the left from here, and the church is beside it. To the right is the dining hall and where everyone sleeps, and right behind you next to the gates is the traveler's guest house. Sometimes we get pilgrims from other abbeys coming through here, and we have to put them somewhere, yes? We turn no one down here, all are welcome." The monk smiled pleasantly.
Yusuke attempted to smile as well. 'And we wondered why they were all getting killed…'
Awright. I'mma go ahead and end the chapter here, see what you all think so far. Hiei and Kurama will come into the story soon, I'm not sure if Yusuke and Kuwabara will hook up, the monks are gonna be annoying, that's about the gist of the next chapter, but it'll be fleshier than that. Obviously. Soooo… review, please. I need some feedback on this one.